Happiness is an inside job!

Want to be happier? I have good news and bad news. First, the bad news:
Research shows that approximately 33-50% of your level of happiness is hereditary. Your genes dictate your “happiness set point.”
Now, the good news. According to psychologists, 10% of your happiness is due to life circumstances and 40% is the result of your own choices and personal outlook: your career, your relationships, your friends, your activities, your level of health and fitness…
So even if you have a relatively low happiness set point, you still have significant control over how happy you feel. The key is to exercise that control by making choices and developing habits that make you happier.
Easier said than done?
Actually, no:
Surround yourself with positive people.
Like they say, we’re the average of the five people we spend the most time with. Spend time with negative people and your outlook will become more negative. Spend time with a chronic devil’s advocate and your attitude will go all to hell. .
Good friends encourage you, support you, and lift you up when you’re down. They see the best in you, and that helps you see the best in yourself. (That’s also true for our co-workers, and is why it's so important to have great colleagues at work. It's not just that we spend a lot of time with them, we essentially become them.
You can’t choose your family, but you can choose your friends. Choose people who make your life better – and happier.
See perfection as the enemy of happiness.
Your career doesn’t have to be perfect before you can be happy. Your marriage doesn’t have to be perfect before you can be happy. Your kids, your home, your car, your clothes… nothing has to be perfect.
And that’s a good thing because nothing can ever be perfect. Setting a bar you’ll never reach only ensures you’ll never be satisfied, fulfilled, or happy.
Instead think about what you already have. Think about what you’ve already accomplished. See where you are today not in terms of where you think you should be…. but as a great platform for achieving even more.
Then focus on doing well. Focus on doing great. Focus on excellence – not perfection, but excellence.
And know when to smell the roses – because you have a much bigger garden than you let yourself think.
Focus on now, not later.
“What if?” is like kryptonite to happiness. “What if I get fired? What if my business fails? What if something happens to my family? What if....”
“What if?” thinking is great if it results in a plan.
“What if?” thinking that only results in worry and stress and distraction is a waste of time.
If you can’t control tomorrow, don’t worry about tomorrow. Just worry about making today great, because the best way to be happier is to enjoy every moment as it comes.
Compare yourself to yourself, not to other people.
Comparisons are a zero-sum game you will always lose: no matter who you are, there will always be someone smarter, or richer, or more attractive, or more successful. Someone will always have “more.”
(But no one will have what you have.)
So stop comparing yourself to other people and start comparing yourself to yourself. Work to be a better version of you than you were last week, last month, and last year; that way when you look back you’ll love seeing how far you’ve come.
And you’ll feel a lot happier with, and about, yourself.
Do unto others.
“It is better to give than to receive” has a scientific basis: studies show providing social support can be more beneficial to the giver than the receiver.
Not only is helping a person in need gratifying, the act is also an explicit reminder of how comparatively fortunate we are… and that’s a wonderful reminder of how thankful we should be for what we already have.
You can’t control whether other people help you. But you can control whether you help other people – and that means you can control how happy you are, since giving always makes you feel happier.
Live your life.
The most common regret of people that only had a few months to live?
"I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me."
What other people think -- especially people who aren’t important in your life -- doesn't matter. What other people – especially people who aren’t important in your life – want you to do doesn't mater.
You have hopes. You have dreams. You have goals. Regardless of what other people might think or say, make the choices that support those hopes and dreams and goals.
Don’t look back and wish you’d done things differently. Decide what you want, decide how you want to live, decide what is best for you, your family, and the people you love… look forward and live your life in the way that supports what you truly want.
Have the courage to be who you are. You’ll be much happier now… and much happier later.

There is Life after Christmas

There is Life after Christmas. The holiday season is the time when many entrepreneurs dig the financial graves in which their projects will fall. Countless potential billionaires spend more than they earn
The financial decisions you make this holiday season will impact your investments in the coming year. Don't be deceived by the Holiday spending fever. Celebrate but do it sensibly knowing that there is life after the holidays. Don't just buy things because they're on sale. If you didn't plan for it simply don't buy it.
 Use that extra income from bonuses to make a head-start of the new year. Pay off your debts, pay tuition or rent in advance or save for that future project
"The wise man saves for the future but the foolish man spends whatever he gets." Proverbs 21:20.

Please, Just Introduce yourself!

 Networking is one of the most challenging skills you may have to learn in the world of business. It can be an awkward experience, having the attention of a group of strangers focused on you, and trying to make a good first impression.
It’s an important moment. The person opposite you might be someone who could make or break your career. If you make a good impression, he or she might be able to refer your next big client, or have the influence to help you land that next big contract or that lucrative job you so yearn for.
On the other hand, if you act like a zombie, you might alienate someone who might have been an otherwise important connection and relationship.
If you’d like to avoid looking like a jerk, avoid being this guy when introducing yourself:
•Name dropper. This person introduces themselves by saying who they know, who they’ve worked with, etc. I might not remember their name, but I’ll remember that they once dinner with the area Governor
•Digital Zombie. If you’re going to a networking event, or a business function of some kind, don’t be so absorbed in yourself and your cell phone that you’re not paying attention.
. Biz card waiter. A card is not an introduction. Just throwing your business card at a person, or worse, at as many people as possible at a networking event, is just about the worst kind of introduction you can make. If you hand one to me, I’m going to hand it to the nearest rubbish bin.
•Double-shot menu. Handing someone two copies of your business card to encourage the other person to send you a referral. It’s presumptuous unless they ask for an extra card. Its like taking 2 copies of the programme at a funeral service!!!
•Rambling man (or woman). As soon as you get to talk, you get over excited and start telling your life story. Or the story of how you got to the meeting. Or how you met your spouse. And forget to tell me, you know, who you are.
•The Historian. If I’m just meeting you, I don’t need to know the entire history of your business or career, all of your degrees and accolades, and your dog’s maiden name. Stick to the basics.
•Little-sissie handshake. It may be old fashioned, but I think a weak handshake is a turn-off when introducing yourself. Practice a firm (but not crushing) handshake to convey confidence.
•The Cannonball. Probably the opposite of the little-sissie is the cannonball — the guy who is so overly confident that he’ll marshal his way into any situation or conversation without being invited. If you want to join an ongoing conversation, wait to be acknowledged before you jump right in.
•How to introduce yourself in one simple step:
Instead of leading with what you do, lead with who you help. As in, “Hi, my name is Steve, and I help companies identify and make the best use of their key performance indicators and big data while avoiding obvious risks.”
Done. You know who I am, what I do, and more importantly, whether or not I can help you or someone you know.
What are your best tips for making a good introduction? OR, what are your least favorite ways people introduce themselves? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

Rules on interaction between clergy men and church-going women

With Kenyan women literally behaving like headless chicken before members of the clergy, especially those who pass themselves off as miracle workers who can heal all manner of diseases, solve marital and business problems and bring the dead back to life — only after one plants a seed — I feel it’s time I gave them some rules of engagement.
First, if you are a married woman it doesn’t matter if your intimate body parts, like your breasts, are burning with pain, letting any other male who is not a doctor to touch them in the name of praying or performing a miracle is a no, no!
Male gynaecologist
I find it a bit ridiculous that some of our women blush and feel embarrassed whenever a male gynaecologist is examining them, but when they go to church, they lose all sense of embarrassment and decency with some seeming to enjoy the pastor’s touch, and worse still, in front of people.
Secondly, women should keep in mind that the most important person they should love and adore is God not their pastors, bishops, prophets and whatever other fancy names they call themselves.
It beats me how nowadays women fear men of God more than God himself. Some do not even read the Bible for themselves and simply go by the pastor’s own interpretation of the holy book. That is how women have found themselves literally worshiping men of God and doing their bidding more than God’s will. It’s a pity.
But it is time women sobered up and adhered to biblical teachings, not what the ‘pastors’ and ‘bishops’ say.
Thirdly, ordinarily women are stingy with their money.
Ask any married man who has a working wife and he will tell you that his partner never wastes an opportunity to remind him that his money is theirs and her money is hers and hers alone to do with as she deems fit.
But throw a pastor onto the scene and the woman will open up her purse with very little persuasion all in the name of ‘planting a seed’.
Defending pastors
But it is high time women stopped supporting the dreams of these cons who use the pulpit to swindle even the sick of their hard earned money.
Lastly, women should cease defending pastors blindly. For instance, in the recent expose of self-styled Prophet Kanyari — who passes himself as a prophet — some women almost went physical on KTN’s Mohammed Ali and John-Allan Namu in defense of their infallible pastor.
Dear sisters, a true man of God doesn’t need women fighting for him because he knows there is a Man above who is capable of fighting on his behalf. He will ask God to fight his battles. Get it?

Men facing extinction!? My thoughts

I know ya ll ladies will feel me on this, and I know ya ll men will deny but just stop and think about.
it does not apply to everyone, and its not gospel truth but I can BET a lot of you can relate THE EXTINCTION oF MeN Don't say I didn't warn you!
In the study of nature and its evolution, the animals that ended up being extinct were the ones that were unable to adapt to changes happening in their environment, or were unable to shift to areas that could harbor their existence: Google the history of dinosaurs!!
Well.....I foresee another species getting extinct and its also for the above same reasons.
Point to note here, am not an advocate for this whole women independence CR**!
I am the Chief advocate for women being treated with dignity and respect but I draw the line when it comes to women playing men's roles!
I might change my mind when men start playing women's roles.....ummmm!! on second thought, no I WONT! It might nit be a good idea!!
Men should be men and women-women, and we should help each other with our roles because society has changed since the days of our forefathers and hence we need to adapt.
That said, I beg to ask, WHERE DID ALL THE MEN GO?
Men, there were warning signs of attack to your existence that you should have noted and stepped up your game to.
Warning signs included;
when women began wearing trousers,
when women started doing office jobs,
when women became managers in the office jobs,
when women began hiring for office jobs,
 when women began chasing/pursuing men,
 when women began chamas,
 when women began activist groups to talk about how useless men are,
 When women gave up and started seeing each other!
 when the first vibrator was created !!
warning warning warning! One of you should have said 'wait a minute, do you see what I see?' But you all chose to ignore the warning signs. And to make things worse, you continued to deteriorate.
 I miss the days when men were men! I miss the days;
when men would call girls on their parent's landline number because there were no cell phones
 when men would queue at the telephone booths with 5sh coins to call their ladies for 10minutes!
 when the men would make a date and pick her up from home, instead of saying 'lets meet there!'
 when men would actually make an effort and dress up when taking ladies out,
 when men would call to apologise after an argument on phone 5 minutes later,
 when men would stay and talk things out instead of walking away after a fight,
 when men would be patient with ladies and not expect sex on the second date!
 when men would chase after the girl they loved even if it took months, instead of running to the next available skirt,
 when men would marry women of substance and not just a pretty face, fake boobs and long curly weaves.....then go ahead and have affairs with the ones they should have married in the 1st place!
 when men would not expect their girls to work the same job as they do during the day, get home and be househelps/cooks/cleaners for them, then their sex toy before bed, and still expect her to meet half the bills at the end of the month, and carry their babies while still doing all the above chores.... OMG, no wonder they are getting extinct.
If I were a woman, and I had a well paying job, a few investments, a beautiful home, a sexy ride, a fantastic support structure of friends and family, and even say a beautiful child, then the only reason i need a man is for love.
So if my man cannot show me the love I need, cannot treat me like a lady, then why would I want to be with one???
No wonder all these successful women have kitchen totos for boyfriends, no wonder vibrators are on such high demand, no wonder women are so angry!
If I were a man, I would recognize the threat and adapt, by learning all I needed to make a woman happy.
After all be smart enough to know that once your woman is happy, you can have everything you want! EVERYTHING! ....But as a man I don't think I would not be smart enough to think like that!
Hence tick-tock, tick-tock, the clock to extinction continues ticking!
Oh well....my honest opinion...

Career and dress code relationship

Years ago I worked as a field auditor for a microfinance in Kenya. I had worked my way through the ranks and field operations and definitely identified more with the field workers than the "suits." (Even though most of the guys referred to me as "college boy.")
One day the department manager stopped by. She asked about my background. She asked about my education. She asked about my career aspirations.
"I'd like to be a supervisor," I answered, "and then someday I'd like your job - Audit Manager"
She smiled and said, "Good for you. I like a guy with dreams." Then she paused.
"But if that's what you really want," she said, looking me in the eyes, "first you need to start looking the part."
I knew what she was saying but decided to play dumb. "What do you mean?" I asked.
"Look around," she said. "How do supervisors dress? How does their hair look? How do they act? No one will think of you as supervisor material until they can actually see you as a supervisor -- and right now you look nothing like a supervisor."
She was right. I was wearing ratty jeans with a couple of holes. (Why wouldn't I? I worked around dust in the field and ride on a motorbike and hit sun all day.) I was wearing a cut-off t-shirt. And my hair was pretty long, even for the day. (No excuse for that one.)
"But shouldn't how well I do my job matter more than how I look?" I asked.
"In a perfect world your performance is all that would matter," she added. "But we don't live in a perfect world. Take my advice: if you want to be promoted into a certain position... make sure you look like the people in that position."
I've thought about that conversation a lot over the years.
I've hired and promoted people who looked the part... and they turned out to be all show and no go. I've hired and promoted people who didn't look the part at all... and they turned out to be superstars. I'm convinced that how you look and, at least to a large degree how you act, has nothing to do with your skill and talent and fit for a job.
Still, she's right: the world isn't perfect. People still make assumptions about us based on irrelevant things like clothing and mannerisms... and height and weight and age and gender and ethnicity and tons of other qualities and attributes that have absolutely no bearing on a person's performance.
So are you better off trying to conform?
Unfortunately, YES. The people doing the hiring and promoting are people -- and people tend to be biased towards the comfortable and the familiar. People tend to hire and promote people who are much like themselves. (If you remind me of me... then you must be awesome, right?)
Besides, highly diverse teams are like unicorns -- we all know what one should look like, but unless you're a robot, you rarely encounter one in the wild.
And don't forget that hiring or promoting someone who conforms, even if only in dress and deportment, makes a high percentage of the people making those decisions feel like they're taking a little bit less of a risk. I know I was viewed -- admittedly with good reason -- as a wild card, and I'm sure that impacted my promotability.
But still: are you better off being yourself and trusting that people will value your skills, experience, talent... and uniqueness?
Sadly I think that's a move fraught with professional peril. If your goal is to get hired or promoted then expressing your individuality could make that goal much harder to accomplish. (Of course if being yourself in all ways is what is most important to you, by all means let your freak flag fly. Seriously.)
I have no way of knowing for sure, but changing how I dressed -- and in a larger sense, tempering some of the attitude I displayed -- would likely have helped me get promoted sooner. For a long time I didn't look the part, didn't act the part... and I'm sure that made me a less attractive candidate.
But that's just what I think; what's more interesting is what you think about fitting in and conforming.
Has the way you look affected your career? Have you ever decided to conform... or not to conform... and what difference did that make?

Why you should love your haters

if you’re going to be successful, you should know that a lot of people are going to hate you for it. A lot of people.This is because with success comes attention. And attention naturally breeds scrutiny and judgement, as well as admiration and respect. Naturally though, you will attract your fair share of haters when this kind of focus is placed on you. Sometimes it’s not the fact that you’re getting attention that bugs people, while in some cases, it’s the sole reason
The good news though is that naysayers don’t have to ruin your day. While it may not seem like it, often, negativity can be a blessing in disguise; a catalyst to motivate you forward, giving you a chance to prove them wrong.
While deep down inside, no one loves criticism and negativity, here are a few things that have learned that have helped me to appreciate the haters. Read on and feel the love!
#1: They’re Brutally Honest
To a point, that is. While you can’t take everything that a hater says as solid truth, you can bet that they’re going to draw attention to your weak points. And that’s something that none of our friends or family would ever do.
 Always seek negative feedback, even though it can be mentally painful. They won’t always be right, but I find the single biggest error people make is to ignore constructive, negative feedback. Don’t let a good hater go to waste, gather the truth from what they’re saying –just remember to throw the rest of it away.
#2: They Push You Forward
While none of us ‘likes’ to be hated; there’s nothing like a little negativity to motivate you to do even better. While negative remarks that come from those closest to you will have the opposite effect (that’s why they say that those who are closest to us can hurt us the most), when it comes to haters, it’s another story. Your haters are largely made up of folks that really don’t know you, and that you don’t really care about as much. Insults from these guys can actually propel you forward. So the next time you hear that someone’s been saying something bad about you, know that you can use that as motivation to prove them wrong. But don’t worry –you won’t have to thank them!
#3: They Remind You That You’re in Control
Negativity forces you to take a deep and honest look at yourself, and gives you a chance to find out what you’re really made of. It also reminds you that while you can’t control what others are saying, you do have complete control over how you feel about your life. You can let those negative comments get you down, or use them to motivate you forward. It’s your call.
#4: Publicity is a Good Thing
Even though it may not seem like it at the time -no one wants to have bad press- negativity can actually bring you valuable publicity.
Here is a crazy observation; the number one predictor of popularity is how angry it makes your haters. In other words, publicity –especially negative press, encourages interaction. People are much more likely to engage with negative stories than they are with positive ones. “When you get bad press, your haters love it, so they talk about it, and your fans hate it so they come in and defend you,”
#5: They’re a Sign of Success
No matter what, it’s important to remember that at the end of the day, people wouldn’t be talking if it weren’t for your success. So don’t let it get you down, instead use it to motivate yourself, and prove your point by proving them wrong. And of course, no one said it better than Churchill himself. “You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.” Take heart in knowing that everyone who’s found their way into the public sphere has been hated at some point or another. No one’s exempt.
 “If everybody loves you, something is wrong. Find at least one enemy to keep you alert.” -Paulo Coelho
#6: They Make Success So Much Better
Finally, I firmly believe that haters just make your successes feel even better. It’s one thing to reach a pinnacle of success with the support of a devoted fan base that supported you all the way, and knew you could do it all along. It’s another to reach that point, despite all of the naysayers who said it couldn’t be done. Revenge, it turns out, is sweet after all. Take that haters!
Above all, it’s important to remember that negativity can be turned into success. Use it to motivate you, pick out the truth that can be found in it, and let it remind you that you’re still in control. Don’t let it get to your head, or cause you to lose sight of your goals. Publicity is a good thing, and having your very own critics is often a sure sign of success.
So don’t let the haters get you down, instead use them to drive you to success. There really is no better way to handle negativity. Also, remember that in the end, negativity and positivity don’t pay the bills.
“One week they like me, the next week they hate me, both weeks I get paid.”
How do you deal with haters? Do you find it easy to let things slide? Feel free to share your strategies in the comments.

How to give effective criticism

Nobody really likes to be criticized: the word has negative connotations of someone pulling your work apart and telling you how bad it is and making you feel angry and annoyed, just like a drill instructor shouting at a new recruit. The reality is that people are often simultaneously bad at giving criticism and similarly poor at receiving it. Whilst we often like to think that we are giving out good advice and feedback, the recipient may hear our words as negative criticism and respond in a way that we had not intended.
Couching everything as mere feedback often misses the point that there may be serious performance issues that need to be addressed. That doesn't, however, mean that the manager has to adopt an overtly negative or hyper-critical approach to giving meaningful and developmental criticism. you and I have to be more positive in our approach, if we want to develop our team and deliver on our objectives.
So how do we ensure that as a people we are a good critic too?
#1 – Accentuate the Positives
Start by praising what went well. If you start on a positive then you have the team member on side and they'll also believe that what you are telling them is balanced and considered and they may be more receptive to what you have to say. If you launch in with what went wrong, then you will alienate them from the outset and their defences will be up, even if you then proceed to give them some praise for something that went well.
#2 – Highlight Progress
Even if the performance isn't quite where it needs to be, give credit where progress has been achieved and forward momentum has been made. A key part of motivation is to feel that we are getting good at something, but if all we hear is how bad we are doing, even where some progress – however slight – is being made, then this can be a powerful de-motivator. If things have improved, then say so.
#3 – Be Encouraging
Suggest that the issue can be resolved and that the team member is capable of overcoming it and succeeding, given the right encouragement and support. Try and be nurturing towards your team, because the payback in terms of the boost to performance will be incalculable and you will be building a supportive and loyal group around you.
#4 – Share the Blame
Don’t make the team member out to be a scapegoat. If you are the manager, then some of the blame probably sits on your shoulders and if part of the reason is something that you did, or failed to do, then say so. Otherwise you will just start to build resentment and a belief that you are prepared to sacrifice others and shift the blame. Your team don’t expect you to be infallible, but they do expect you to have broad enough shoulders to admit your own mistakes when they happen

What To Do When You Don’t Know What To Do

All of us, from the Executive-suite to the maintenance crew, are occasionally confronted with a problem or an issue about which we don’t know what to do. Depending upon your experience these moments can be exciting because:
 ● they open the possibility of learning, discovering, and growing ● or terrifying because they can be felt by you or seen by others as a comment on your capability and/or competence.
 But in both instances they are definitely a window onto your character. So what do you do at those times when you don’t know what to do?
I am proposing a strategy, a holistic approach, weaving together the objective elements of a don’t-know-what-to-do moment with subjective intention to solve the problem.
So, what to do?
Admit It:
 Many people refuse to admit they don’t know what to do. They rationalize, deny, ignore, and manipulate themselves to prevent losing face in their own eyes and those of their colleagues. The resulting problem is that they disconnect from reality. To maintain their stance they create a fantasy/illusion, a story they invent, and treat it as though it’s real.
For example---in the discomfort of an I-don’t-know moment, should you be asked, “Hey, what’s going on?” you might respond with “No problem. No problem:” But by doing that you deny reality and cut yourself off from the only source of solving the problem---i.e. you. Any solution you might imagine will be ineffective at best because it has to do with not losing face rather than the issue at hand. So your first choice is to Admit It.
Don’t Go Into The Past:
When confronted with an I-don’t-know moment people will search their experience for a solution. But whatever they find in the past is the same information or point of view that got them to the current I-don’t-know position.
If what you lack is topical you may find an answer in a book or from a colleague. But if you’re confronted with a problem that requires creativity it follows that creativity requires something new. You can
 ● use your experience to frame the problem
 ● strip away what is unnecessary; ● and/or focus your efforts, but the solution is not to be found in the past
 It must be discovered or invented or both so that the solution is drawn out of the future---or to say it another way, the solution will create the future.
Accept That You Are At A Limit:
This takes admitting you don’t know what to do to the next level.
By accepting this you respond to the situation affirmatively, positively, and without a fight. You don’t chastise or condemn yourself for running up against a limit. You allow reality to be what it is respecting the fact that everyone confronts limits in their lives.
The power of acceptance is that it minimizes and even eliminates struggle and makes you available to see differently and more clearly. Resistance adds another layer of distance from what is real for you and it keeps you in place. Acceptance demonstrates your maturity and your willingness to become accessible to the way a solution will emerge, a solution you will not think of otherwise.
Listen:
When you listen you engage with the problem from an open and receptive point of view. You allow the solution, which, by the way, is already present in the problem, to emerge. I use the word “emerge” quite consciously and quite organically to include your creative depths---the unconscious---and your analytical, stepwise awareness---your conscious mind.
“Emerge” means to:
● come forth into view as from concealment or obscurity;
● come into existence;
● develop.
When a solution, or the beginnings of a solution, emerges this is a creative act. You cannot demand it nor can you wrestle it into being. As I said above, if you struggle, it will only bring forth the past which will keep you where you are.
Listening is just not intellectual, i.e. conceptual. It is total---your emotions, your intuition, your imagination, your mind---conscious and unconscious. It must be total because you are entering a new space, looking for a solution that has not been present to you before. Because you are in a new space you must explore until you have enough information to decide. Also, a solution can come to your awareness full blown without the need to be developed step-by-step or in bits that must be strung together to make the picture clear. Deep listening is the best method to assure your knowing how to proceed and what to do.
Take A Break:
A simple technique that can allow you to relax is to step away from the problem. When you become blocked continuing to drive will generally just add more blockage to your already blocked up mind. Do something different. Let your thoughts change their attention: drift in reverie, play, go for a walk and enjoy the scenery---do something totally other than concentrating on the problem. It’s been well documented that doing so very often yields an “Aha.” No guarantees. But it’s better than knocking against a wall that at the moment will not allow you entry.
Be Patient:
Some people will say that patience is NOT a virtue in the business world where you need to move fast. And I don’t disagree. But without patience you will distort the process and your solution will be distorted if not still born.
It takes courage to be patient but the outcome will be far more productive and rewarding.
What do you think? I'd love to know.

Step up and be counted...boldly!!

Recently, I was discussing with a colleague of mine the state of affairs at companies that we used to work with and for and we found some interesting parallels: in most of the larger companies, no matter what the industry, there seemed to be a common thread:
1.People spent an inordinate amount of time "covering their asses" - basically generating paperwork and other "evidence of industry" that they were working, other than actually working. If they did any actual work, they made sure not to do too much or too little of it.
2.Very few people took on responsibility and made decisions, for fear that they would stick out and either be reprimanded or fired.
In short, we concurred that in a lot of companies, innovation groups aside, the culture was so risk averse that timidity was the order of the day - people would much rather ask and get permission first before implementing anything - yes, not even incremental innovation and small process improvements, lest something goes wrong and they are blamed for it.
Timidity, not boldness, was the order of the day.
Funny thing though. If we, in our respective teams and groups, ever actually WERE BOLD - actually stepped up and took responsibility, actually made decisions, were accountable, stuck our necks out, instead of being slammed down, we were applauded.
Eventually we realized that people were desperate for someone, anyone, to step up and throw the first stone - to be the trailblazer, to be the one that steps up and takes control. I've done it a number of times now at a number of different companies and you know what - it's never ended up a negative thing - I've always been lauded and applauded.
Sure, there are always naysayers, but they usually get drowned out by the cheering of those who were looking for someone to step up.
So be that person. Be the one who steps up. Be bold.
You'll probably be pleasantly surprised by the result.

How to avoid office romance

The office romance is still alive and well but there are some critical rules of the road that I would strongly advise. After all, people's lives and careers are at stake.
If that special someone has caught your eye in the office, review this checklist before making the advance and embarking on the forbidden journey:
•Know your Company's policy on office dating. Every Company is different and there may be consequences from the start. You might find yourself in a situation where you have to quit your job or change locations for the fire to keep burning.
•Keep it professional. Refrain from the cute touching, kissing and other PDA's. Your co-workers will appreciate you both for being discreet.
•Assume that the staff knows, but don't flaunt it. Back in the day people got a kick out of the office romance game. Not anymore. Many may be offended. Their opinion, whether you like it or not, counts.
•Let the boss know before she/he finds out from someone else. Your professional attitude will go a long way in maintaining the boss's respect.
•Consider what might happen if the relationship doesn't work out. Give it more than a minute's thought. It's best to think about it when you are sober.
•Show respect. While this is true in any circumstance, it is especially true in a professional environment. Go the extra mile to be thoughtful, polite and understanding.
•Don't take business trips together. Your chances of crossing the lines of Company policy get very muddy with this one.
•Understand that no means no. If he/she says that they don't want the relationship, don't push it. Not only is that unprofessional, it's creepy.
HR Managers please chime in with comments below and add to my list or if you have an office romance that you would like to share, please do

We all are slaves to our smartphones

Whilst at a concert last week, dubbed "the comedy night", I had a quick look around at the audience of fellow comedy lovers and the majority of attendees all had one thing in common which was the inability to keep their smartphone in their pocket for more than 2 minutes!
Some even watched most of the gig through the black screen on their phone as they recorded which prompted the question “why are we desperately trying to record and capture the moment rather than simply enjoying it?”
From experience, when looking back at footage shot on smart phones the sound and images seldom capture the experience of the show itself, so the night would be better enjoyed and remembered if we simply left our phones in our pockets.
After the encore, people headed for the exits, but rather than talk to each other about how great the performance they just shared together in a moment that will be frozen in time inside their hearts and minds, most couples were heads down into their phones before going for an after show drink somewhere only to sit at a table in silence with their attention directed towards their online lives.
Suddenly it felt like I had the third eye of enlightenment and could see how we are turning into zombies who are slaves to an insatiable thirst for their mobile phones and digital connections who they probably will never even meet in the physical sense.
Here is the irony: this fantastic technology that has enabled people from every corner of the world to connect and share ideas has equally prevented us from being able to communicate with each other face to face.
In extreme circumstances, it’s not unusual to find people recording the scene of an accident on their phone rather than offering a helping hand which is something that I find incredibly creepy, sinister and reminiscent of the brave new world that some author wrote about many years ago.
Recently a smartphone-addict sidewalk was created in China for users who are just too busy to look up and see where they are going that once again proves the theory that truth really is stranger than fiction.
This got me thinking, I wonder how many times we actually check our mobile devices each day?
Make no mistake, I am not going to get all self-righteous with you all because I have enough self-awareness to know that I'm guilty of checking my own phone over 100 times a day and have recently upgraded to a Windows phone which allows me to have multiple apps running and several functionalities that are largely addictive. This, in itself, makes me a part of the problem rather than the solution.
Even when armed with this information, I realise that if there is ever a spare few minutes such as queue at the supermarket, I will be reaching for my phone but I would argue that this is more productive than standing around sighing and complaining about the length of time to be served!
As someone who is passionate about how technology has revolutionised the field of productivity and communication in the workplace, there is no doubting that the key to the success is via being connected, collaborative and creative.
Technology can have an often overwhelming but positive effect on our lives, however sometimes maybe we should all try to be more self-aware of our immediate surroundings and the experience that you could be missing out on right now.
Everything is on demand in this digitally connected world where instant gratification dominates every aspect of our lives, however the next time we are in that important work meeting, romantic meal or day out with family and friends, let’s all make an extra effort to rescue the lost art of communicating face to face and enjoying the moment rather than recording it.
Living your life, rather than viewing it through a screen should be an easy choice for anyone to make, so let’s make a united effort to not take for granted the things that really matter in our lives.

Linking your college life to your career

College is a time for personal and professional growth. However, with growth, generally comes some mistakes. As long as you learn from those mistakes and make sure they don’t negatively impact a professional career down the road, you’ll be just fine.
Here are some behaviors and mistakes you need to stay away from to ensure a bright future and great job out of college:
1. Depend on dangerous remedies to get through rush-hour. Whether it’s studying for the big exam tomorrow or pulling a trans-nighter to write your thesis, nothing is worth depending on dangerous remedies or drugs to get you through it.
Avoiding crunch time altogether is your No. 1 solution to this problem. Develop good prioritization and time management skills while you’re in college so you don’t have to worry about this in a professional position.
If crunch time is inevitable, learn how to be as efficient as possible and pick up some healthy strategies to keep your mind fresh. Caffeine in moderation is a great way to keep yourself awake and alert, and consistent breaks can help bring fresh air to your body and stimulate your mind.
2. Forget about your health.
 Once you’re away from home and don’t have a routine built yet, it’s easy to make poor decisions that will end up affecting your health.
As you build a routine, be mindful of decisions you’re making that can keep you healthy and successful in your college life. Think about what you eat and drink or how much time you set aside for exercise. Doing this early in college will give you the ability to maintain a healthy lifestyle later in life when you have even more responsibilities to juggle.
3. Share too much on social media. It’s fine to have fun with your social media channels and use them for what they’re intended: socializing. However, making smart decisions in college about what you post on your social channels will greatly impact your outcome of finding a great job out of college.
Use a more private channel to share some of your crazier memories, like Snapchat, but leave all your inappropriate images and comments off any major social channel. This will ensure any bad behaviors from your college days won’t dampen a bright future.
4. Miss out on side projects that can showcase your skills.
 Expanding your soft skills is critical to become a desirable employee. Colleges provide many opportunities to get involved with things beyond just classroom curriculum, including clubs, pre-professional organizations, and even study groups. Stop avoiding these and take advantage of them.
These side projects will allow you to meet new people and expand your network and build your soft skills. They also look great on your resume. Just because you’re a college student doesn’t mean employers don’t expect to see some kind of initiative to grow your skills in a professional or collaborative setting within the industry you’re applying.
5. Let your hobbies fall to the wayside.
 It is easy to lose sight of the things that mattered a lot to you before college. Whether it is a hobby, sport, or activity, keep it up in some capacity. You may not be able to begin doing it right away, but as your routine solidifies, you will be able to carve out time to get back to what helps you decompress and maintain a sense of familiarity.
Hobbies and personal interests are also a great way to identify with those in the professional world. They give common ground to find conversation and show that you are a well-rounded person outside of work or school.
6. Obsess over failure and miss out on fun.
 You have enough going on and plenty to worry about so there is no reason to be obsessed with what may or may not happen a couple years down the road.
Give yourself some slack and enjoy college. Always focusing or worrying about the future and never enjoying the moment will make you lose friends or lose out on forming new relationships. This can stunt your growth and could be a detriment to making powerful connections in college that will help drive your professional path.
College is a great time to let loose, have fun and learn about yourself. There will be bumps in the road as you make your way to the real world, and that’s ok. Just keep in mind what your ultimate goal for college is. Also, steer clear of the bad behaviors and habits that could negatively impact your future and the chance to land your dream job

Unwritten office rules you better observe

There are some things in the office you just don’t do unless you want everyone with whom you work to despise you. Here are some of them.
1. Don’t ever take something out of the community fridge that isn’t yours. Stealing from people in the office is unacceptable. Stealing their portion of daily sustenance is downright evil. Lunch is a mid-day motivator. Taking that from someone will quickly create an unengaged employee. Even worse, it will foster a culture of mistrust.
2. Don’t smell. There are different types of offenders in this category. There is bad breath guy. There is the guy that didn’t wash his clothes. There is one-shower-a-week guy and his twin brother, no-deodorant guy. But the king of all bad smells is the guy that walks into your cube, office, or desk area and passes gas. There is no justification for violence in the workplace, but that could make somebody wait for you in the parking lot at quitting time. Making an office area disagreeable for others through neglect of personal hygiene will not win anyone friends.
3. Don’t touch something on a coworker’s desk without permission. We all want to be team players, but everyone has personal boundaries, even at work. Our desks, offices, or cubes are some of the real estate that we actually get to put our personal touch on. There are pictures of our families, quote-of-the-day calendars, various awards we have won, work gifts, nameplates, office supplies and other trinkets on our desks. They are in their places for a specific reason. Please keep your grubby mitts off. And never, EVER sit on my desk.
4. Don’t send non-work related email. We have enough correspondence in our inbox to wade through without your invitation to the pub for cocktails after work. Or your inspirational message of the day. Or your jokes. If you have something personal to say to me, call me on my cell phone. If it’s not that important, send a text. I’ll get back to you when I have time.
5. Don’t gossip. Seriously. If you are spilling personal details about one person to another, all that you have really told the person that you are speaking to is that you have no regard for the personal lives and privacy of others. Talk about other people, and soon no one will talk to you anymore.
6. Don’t bring in your offspring’s school fundraiser. We all like to support each other’s families, but this is unprofessional and unethical for so many reasons. Some employees may not be able financially to purchase anything. It will cause undue stress on that person if they cannot contribute, especially if everyone else in the office does. If you’re the boss, employees will feel pressured into buying something. It could also be seen as a quid pro quo that contributes to a hostile working environment if someone who makes a large purchase suddenly receives a commendation, award, or promotion. Even worse, if someone is disciplined, even legitimately, but didn’t give up any money to the fundraiser, the boss is going to have a problem with perceptions of unfairness. Most of all, people just don’t like spending money on overpriced, sub-quality calorie bombs that they didn’t need and didn’t ask for in the first place.
7. Turn your music off. If you must have music on while you work, wear headphones. Make sure the volume of those headphones can’t be heard at the next workstation. Sure, everyone along with you loves the poignant interpretations on social integration made by Milli Vanilli, but we really prefer not to contemplate them at work. Some of us also get distracted from our work by music in the work place. Please cease the aural assault.
8. Don’t park in someone else’s space. Perks are called perks for a reason. They perk up employees. If your place of employment has seen fit to designate parking places for employees, respect that. They’ve earned it, and they need it. There is no trespass more grievous and foul than a usurpation of delegated territory by an opportunistic colleague. That last sentence might even get etched into the bonnet of your hooptie if you violate this rule.
9. If you use all of the office supplies, go to the supply closet and restock them. Have any of you ever gone to the copier to make 20 copies of your presentation packet 20 minutes before the meeting only to find there is no toner in the copier? How close were you to spontaneous combustion at that moment? Using up all of an office resource and not replacing it is not only inconsiderate of others, but it makes the entire office horribly inefficient. If you use it, replace it.
10. Don’t be passive-aggressive. If you have a problem with someone at the office, be an adult and talk to them. Get it worked out. You don’t have to like the person, but you both share organizational goals. Sabotaging someone at work with loaded comments in front of others, or doing things that you know will pester them is immature and counter-productive.
There are many other norms and unwritten rules within organizations. It’s always a good idea to follow a positive corporate culture example.

Smart Answers to Stupid Interview Questions

A job interview is a weird experience. Sometimes you go to a job interview and meet wonderful, sparky people you could talk with for hours. Other times you show up and your first thought is "I wouldn't work in this toxic waste dump for whatever pay!."
The traditional interview format is a big part of the problem. Somebody came up with the standard, lame interview script sixty or seventy years ago and it's still going strong.
The standard interview script is brainless and insulting and it doesn't even do a good job of separating the best candidates from the worst ones. Still, people who are afraid to try new things don't dare deviate from it.
You know the script I'm talking about. It's the one with these three stupid interview questions in it:
•What's your greatest weakness?
•With all the talented candidates, why should we hire you?
•Where do you see yourself in five years?
It isn't the interviewer's fault that they ask such thoughtless and uncreative questions. Somebody told them to. I wouldn't count out an entire organization just because somebody uses some of these dog interview questions, but if everybody in the joint is stuck in the same sixty-year-old interview-script time warp, you may want to keep looking.
As a manager, you don't have to ask the standard, stupid job interview questions when you interview candidates.
As a job-seeker, you get to decide how to answer stupid job interview questions when they come up. You can go the good-little-sheepie route and give the standard answer, like this:
THEM: With all the talented candidates, why should we hire you?
YOU: Well, I'm hard-working and I've got a lot of experience, I'm loyal and thrifty and never come late to work, and besides that I walk old ladies across the street.
People tell us all the time "I went to the interview and the words that came out of my own mouth horrified me. I felt like a loser. I don't talk that way in real life. I fell into the script and I couldn't climb out!"
We've all been there. You're likely to fall into the good-little-sheepie job seeker script by accident if you don't prepare yourself in advance. You can get off the script and stay human in a job interview, and you'll be happy if you do.
For starters, if you shake up the script and give your interviewer an answer s/he wasn't expecting, you'll force him or her to think. That's good. You'll be more memorable that way, and if the interviewer is horrified that you'd step out of the box, what does that tell you?
It tells you that you don't want that job anyway.
Here are our three stupid interview questions and a choice of two answers for each one. The first answer is the standard sheepie answer, and the second one is for use when your mojo is high and you feel like busting a frame and flexing your muscles a little.
Stupid Interview Question: "What's your greatest weakness?"
SHEEPIE ANSWER: "I'm a hard worker, and I can be too hard on myself and other people when I think that either me or somebody else could give a little more to a project."
HIGH-MOJO ANSWER: "I used to obsess about my weaknesses. I used to think I had a million defects that needed correcting, and I read books and took classes to try to improve on them.
Gradually I learned that it makes no sense for me to work on things that I'm not great at, and it makes no sense for me to think of myself as having weaknesses. These days I focus on getting better at things I'm already good at -- graphic design, especially."
Stupid Interview Question: "With all the talented candidates, why should we hire you?"
SHEEPIE ANSWER: "I've been working in this arena for sixteen years and I've got a great track record."
HIGH-MOJO ANSWER: "That's what we're here to figure out, I guess! I can't say that you should hire me.
There might be somebody else who's perfect for the job - you've met the other candidates or will meet them, and of course you know more about the needs here than I do.
I can say this - if this match is meant to be, both of us will know it."
Stupid Interview Question: "Where do you see yourself in five years?"
SHEEPIE ANSWER: "Working hard here or in another Financial Analyst role, with luck moving up to Senior Financial Analyst and being more involved in strategic investments than I've been so far."
HIGH-MOJO ANSWER: "Exploring one of my passions, undoubtedly -- maybe in Finance, or my interest in ecommerce or in an international role. I have a lot of passions!"
You get to decide how far to turn the mojo dial in every interview. You already know how it feels to sit in the chair and play the Good Little Job Seeker. What would happen if you stepped out of the box on your next job interview, and played yourself?

Why dreaming is not enough to achieve success

Anyone can come up with a goal, but not everyone has the ability to achieve it. For that to happen, you need to take action first. Goals are not like dreams or prayers. You cannot just close your eyes and wish for it to happen. You have to do something.
Just do it.
The first step is always the hardest. Your mind will come up with all sorts of scenarios to prevent you from taking that scary first step toward your goal. That does not mean you are a coward, though. It is just your brain’s way of defending yourself.
Sometimes, though, you have to listen to what your heart has to say and just do it. Everything else will be a lot easier once you get past the first hurdle – and that is to ignore your brain’s dire warnings and go with your gut instinct.
Doing something is not always a physical thing.
It is understandable if you mistook the need for taking action as doing something literally or physically. Yet you see, there are many other ways for you to take action without even lifting a finger. For that matter, consider the act of planning.
It is never wise to try achieving a goal without a plan. If you want to spend the least amount of time and effort in achieving your goal, then you need to come up with a step-by-step plan for accomplishing it.
A good plan takes into account all potential consequences as well as all the possible avenues you may take in order to reach your objective.

Self marketing tips

One of the most important things you can do to advance your career is to let your bosses know when you have a success. Unfortunately it also seems to be one of the hardest. We see it as self-aggrandizing. No one likes to come across as a bragger and women in particular seem to have a tricky time advertising their triumphs – but research suggests it is a hurdle we have to overcome.
Here are a few suggestions on how to let people know you’ve done well, without coming across as a jerk.
1.Realize it’s important to the mission, not just you. Your bosses need to know about your successes just as much as they need to know about your failures, but they are busy people who can’t be expected to keep track of everything that’s going on, even your daily triumphs. So sometimes you have to tell them. See it as doing them a favor. You are keeping them abreast of developments that matter to the organization.
2.Avoid rattling off a list of accomplishments. It’s much better to talk about recent successes in a conversation, rather than walking into your boss’ office with a list of achievements. We find a question is a great way in. “How are things going with the Austin account?” Leads quite naturally into, “Ah, so glad. I just had the sense when I finally got them to agree to the concession last week that they’d eventually sign up.”
3.Couch your self-promotion as a thank you. One easy way to get over the idea that talking about your own success as self aggrandizing (it isn’t, by the way) is to phrase it in terms of a thanks to your boss for giving you the opportunity. “Bob, did you hear we nailed the Glaxo account? I loved running that pitch. Thanks for giving me the shot.”
4.Think we not me. It often helps to use words like we or the team or the group instead of I or me. It’s self-effacing but the message of success still gets across. “I’m so proud of the team’s effort on this report, they really did an excellent job.” Your boss hears that you led a group effort and scored a win at the same time.
5.Humor. Women should be wary of endless self-deprecation – we can do it so often we start to believe it. But sometimes a funny story can be a good way to soften a self-promoting anecdote. You say: “I’ll never forget that moment last week when I got the marketing award … and then fell flat on my face on my way up to the stage. So classy!” The boss hears: This is clearly a star who the industry is watching but you’ve still got a sense of humor.
6.Try to see yourself as others might see you. Remember, employers like winners. The way you are perceived might not always be fair but it definitely impacts your chances. Your bosses want a confident, successful member of the team; it makes them feel like winners too. It might not feel natural but you have to help your image by reminding your superiors that you are doing well. Do it with grace, and humor and thanks, but do it.
Some people love bragging, 90 percent of us don’t. But if you can see a measure of self promotion as a service to your busy, harried bosses and a necessary part of managing your career, that can take the sting out of publicizing your successes. See it as a tool, that’s all

Happiness is an inside job

Relinquish your need for external approval. You alone are the judge of your worth, and your goal is to discover infinite worth in yourself, no matter what anyone else thinks. There is great freedom in this realization. Only then will you have realized the keys to happiness:
1. Listen to your body’s wisdom, which expresses itself through signals of comfort and discomfort. When choosing a certain behavior, ask your body, “How do you feel about this?” If your body sends a signal of physical or emotional distress, watch out. If your body sends a signal of comfort and eagerness, proceed.
2. Live in the present, for it is the only moment you have. Keep your attention on what is here and now; look for the fullness in every moment.Accept what comes to you totally and completely so that you can appreciate it, learn from it, and then let it go. The present is as it should be. It reflects infinite laws of Nature that have brought you this exact thought, this exact physical response. This moment is as it is because the universe is as it is. Don’t struggle against the infinite scheme of things; instead, be at one with it.
3. Take time to be silent, to meditate, to quiet the internal dialogue. In moments of silence, realize that you are recontacting your source of pure awareness. Pay attention to your inner life so that you can be guided by intuition rather than externally imposed interpretations of what is or isn't good for you.
4. Relinquish your need for external approval. You alone are the judge of your worth, and your goal is to discover infinite worth in yourself, no matter what anyone else thinks. There is great freedom in this realization.
5. When you find yourself reacting with anger or opposition to any person or circumstance, realize that you are only struggling with yourself. Putting up resistance is the response of defenses created by old hurts. When you relinquish this anger, you will be healing yourself and cooperating with the flow of the universe.
6. Know that the world “out there” reflects your reality “in here.” The people you react to most strongly, whether with love or hate, are projections of your inner world. What you most hate is what you most deny in yourself. What you most love is what you most wish for in yourself. Use the mirror of relationships to guide your evolution. The goal is total self-knowledge. When you achieve that, what you most want will automatically be there, and what you most dislike will disappear.
7. Shed the burden of judgment – you will feel much lighter. Judgment imposes right and wrong on situations that just are. Everything can be understood and forgiven, but when you judge, you cut off understanding and shut down the process of learning to love. In judging others, you reflect your lack of self-acceptance. Remember that every person you forgive adds to your self-love.
8. Don’t contaminate your body with toxins, either through food, drink, or toxic emotions. Your body is more than a life-support system. It is the vehicle that will carry you on the journey of your evolution. The health of every cell directly contributes to your state of well being, because every cell is a point of awareness within the field of awareness that is you.
9. Replace fear-motivated behavior with love-motivated behavior. Fear is the product of memory, which dwells in the past. Remembering what hurt us before, we direct our energies toward making certain that an old hurt will not repeat itself. But trying to impose the past on the present will never wipe out the threat of being hurt. That happens only when you find the security of your own being, which is love. Motivated by the truth inside you, you can face any threat because your inner strength is invulnerable to fear.
10. Understand that the physical world is just a mirror of a deeper intelligence. Intelligence is the invisible organizer of all matter and energy, and since a portion of this intelligence resides in you, you share in the organizing power of the cosmos. Because you are inseparably linked to everything, you cannot afford to foul the planet’s air and water. But at a deeper level, you cannot afford to live with a toxic mind, because every thought makes an impression on the whole field of intelligence. Living in balance and purity is the highest good for you and the Earth

How to say NO politely

Saying "No" is important. If it wasn't, the 'yes-man' would not be part of office folklore and ridicule. But some people have a really hard time saying it. And for good reason. Are you always trying to be nice to others at the expense of yourself? Or are you afraid that saying "No" might lead to conflict with your manager or the office bully?
It's time to stop the madness and pushing off important work that you need to get done. Telling people "No" does not need to be an act of rejection. And if you do it right you will not destroy relationships that took a very long time to grow.
Saying "No" does not mean that you are disagreeable or a nasty person. In fact, I believe saying "No" brings more options to the discussion table! because contrary to what you are told, it can actually prove that you are tuned in.
It can show that you are a focused listener and attentive teammate. Everyone has their own set of priorities and saying "No" means that you are respecting the person who made the request and your valuable time.
The key is to avoid what most people do: ignore the request. Ignoring requests will diminish your value and relationships faster than saying "No" more often than you say "Yes." It appears that you are not listening which is clearly disrespectful.
Some say that you should +1 everything. For example, when someone suggests that you should change your entire plan, you should say "That's a good idea and what about if we did it like this." I think this approach is disingenuous, because we all know that some ideas are just stupid.
Let's act like responsible adults who can have meaningful conversations. Successful people follow these four simple steps to assess requests and say "No" when it's appropriate.
1: Hear it
If someone asks you to do something or for something, you should assume that it is important to them for one reason or another. They likely would not ask you otherwise. It's your responsibility to get to the heart of the request and why it matters. Working towards understanding ensures that you will clearly see what the person making the request sees and you will be able to gauge how important it is to apply energy against it. And total immersion in the request for even a very short period of time tells the other person that you value them and what they are trying to achieve.
2: Goal first
If you are going to make good decisions and say "No" when needed, you need a way to assess the requests. While most requests are easy to quickly answer, some require meaningful investments of time and energy to satisfy (e.g. put together a new email campaign or research a new market opportunity). You need to know whether you are going to invest that effort. And to do so wisely you must establish a “goal first” approach and a true north for where you are headed. A "goal first" approach is about defining your vision. Because If you do not have a vision, it will be difficult to understand what major requests are aligned with your goals and your direction and need your attention longer term.
3: Yes or No
You should respond to requests quickly as they come in. That's because you can not afford to keep revisiting them and the person making the request does not want to wait. You need to quickly analyze them as they are received and allow your "goal first" strategy to guide you. Most requests can be quickly handled but the goal of a rapid "Yay" or "Nay" should not be at the expense of accuracy. There is no point in being hasty but wrong. It is absolutely ok to acknowledge that the request was received and that you will get back to the person shortly. The key is to digest the information and its importance as quickly as possible so you can get on to the next one and creating more value.
4: Be transparent
Allow someone to peak inside and understand why you responded the way you did rather than just hearing your response. Explaining the "why" makes the "what" simple to digest. You need to be more than just nice because being nice alone does not help someone see your perspective. This is especially important when saying "No." The benefit to you is that if you share your assumptions and motivations and they are wrong -- the other person will have a chance to help you see a better way. If you simply provide your answer and when pushed respond with "My mind's made up", you will avoid ever having to change your course, but you're limiting your opportunity for growth.
Now, let's be real. There are times when you must say "Yes" even to what appear to be silly demands. That's how hierarchical organizations work. Sometimes you follow orders because other people know what's best for you and the organization.
If your boss asks for something that is difficult to deliver, sometimes you will need to say "Yes." But you should also explain that you are working on A, B, and C and would be happy to move something out to get the request done. Ask for guidance when the priorities are not clear.
Successful people learn how to say "No" to requests based on a framework that helps them assess value vs. effort. Saying "No" to more requests is one of the biggest favors you can do for your organization and yourself.

Advice for the just-employed.

I didn't start working too late, or too early in life. Thankfully still, I didn't hustle to get my first job.  The two internships while in college, pointed me in the direction of an office instead of further studies, and once college ended, I embraced this desire with ease. Not once did the thought of doing a Masters in 'something, something' tempt me, even as I saw most of my classmates prepare for that path. I had studied all my life, and I was done.
After working for about five years, when I look back, I wish someone had guided me when I first started working - though I am not sure I would have listened! So here are a few words of wisdom from me, to the newly employed.
1. Lose the attitude: When recruiting freshers, most companies are looking for just one quality: the keenness to learn. It all really begins and ends here. No one likes a know-it-all, and even if you find someone who does, there is no way you will grow in your career if you don't want to learn. The first step to growing is admitting you know nothing. You don't have to admit it out loud, but the willingness to learn is an ability that will take you far. Maybe few years later, you will be an expert in that field - simply because you never stopped learning. A belief that hold true in your career and in life.
2. So you don't know what you're doing with your life: Newsflash! Most people don't! This is a scary feeling when you're straight out of college, but believe me, almost everyone feels this way. Heck, a lot of people end up trying to answer this question very late into their careers. It is a long journey, and if you're lucky, you'll get your answer sooner rather than later. So here's what I'm saying: your first job will probably suck. And it's okay.
You're probably doing everything right. You're listening, learning, doing what you're told, but it still doesn't seem like the job you want to do all your life. That's fine. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Just be open to change and opportunities around you. Understand your present workplace, your strengths and weaknesses, and take your time to decide what you want to do next in your life. I found that when I kept my mind open, the universe gave me opportunities that were in-line with my aspirations. What I had to do though, was know what my skills were and work hard to polish them.
3. Take control and discover yourself: I was interning at Safari Park Hotel in Nairobi in my second year of college. You can imagine how cool it was. A five star hotel is great workplace, and I wish I had more perspective back then. I and two of my friends had been selected for the interview after a gruelling round of tests and interviews. It was unfortunate that I couldn't make the most of this opportunity because my mind was so stuck in 'college mode'. What did that mean? I had lacked focus. The internship was more about making friends and having a good time, and even as I confess to this now, I am embarrassing. I wish someone had told me to just focus.
So here's the thing, it is your career and no one else's. The successes are yours, and the failures too. And even though I have met some of my best friends at the workplace, I am wise enough to know that I am in charge of my career.
4. Find your mentor: They say marriages are made in heaven. When you find your mentor, you'll start believing there's more to this saying than it seems. Though I have used the word 'find' here, I don't think you can pro-actively go out there in search of your mentor. If you're capable of learning, your mentor will come find you. Sounds too cliche, doesn't it? Well, they're all cliches for a reason! I've had a mentor who probably doesn't even know she changed my life, so I don't believe it needs to be an 'exclusive' relationship. How do you know you've met the one? When a senior starts showing special interest in your career's growth and advancement, and you start to value their advice, you can change your relationship status to 'committed'. In this brutal corporate world (oh, how cynical I sound), it is a wonderful feeling to know that someone has your back, and so always remember to have theirs.
5. Be thankful: You'll change tens of jobs till you find one you'd like to stick to the rest of your life, and in this journey, it is easy to forget a lot of people and relationships. Always remember the ones who mattered the most. Especially your mentors who invested so much of themselves in your career. Remember them, stay in touch with them. Good teachers are hard to come by, and there is no really joy in growing without taking people with you. So be grateful, for the good, the bad and the ugly.

The Smart HR policy

Smart employer: Rules of engagement;
1.I can guarantee you will work harder than somewhere else.
2.I can guarantee you will be rewarded better than anywhere else with: respect, compensation, acknowledgement of the work you have done, loyalty, new knowledge and security for a job well done.
3.In return you will in turn give back: performance, loyalty, dedication, knowledge, passion and humility.
4.I am sometimes wrong, it’s your responsibility to point out when I am. I will do the same. No hurt feelings or bruised egos.
5.NO assholes. I don’t care how talented you are, it’s just not worth it.
6.This is a job. It is important but not the most important thing in your life. I get it. If its 10 on your list then I don’t get it. That’s just me, sorry. Keep in mind there is a direct correlation between success and dedication, passion, talent and grinding it out when you need to.
7.You will be given every opportunity, but if you don’t perform, you will be asked to leave.
8.Jobs and companies come and go, relationships are more important. Never forget that the person who reports to you now, may be the person sitting in the CEO suite a few years from now.
9.A sense of humor is a must. When all else fails being able to laugh at oneself will get us through whatever storm we need to weather.

How to build Trust

It is my belief that in any relationship, whether it is personal or professional, if you don’t have trust, you don’t have anything. Over the years, I’ve come to see these as critical components of a trusting relationship.
1.Let go. This person you are trying to trust is in their role, whether it be your boyfriend or a sales person, for a reason. Allow them to meet that deadline. Allow them to plan that special dinner. Allow them to do their job. Micromanaging, over-explaining and trying to do their job for them, is counterproductive and unsustainable.
2.Communicating effectively. If you need something done by a certain day or time, clearly explain what time you realistically need the task done. In some cases, just giving context for the ask will help as well.
3.Accept that mistakes happen. Mistakes will happen. They just will. Accepting the fact that errors occur will greatly help resolve the issue at hand faster. After a mistake happens, I often take these three steps in this order: 1. Understand why this happened. Don’t dwell on why it happened, but try to pose your questions and thoughts around understanding the core issue 2. Ask how we’re going to resolve this and 3. Ask how we can prevent it from happening again
4.Own your mistakes.As mentioned, mistakes will happen and sometimes you are going to be the bearer of those slipups. I don’t suggest dwelling on mistakes, over apologizing, or getting yourself down about it, I simply suggest owning the mistake. Owning the mistake shows that you aren’t trying to pass the blame on anyone else, but that you are simply acknowledging it. Your next move should be the three steps I outlined in bullet #3.
5.Meet your deadlines. Set realistic deadlines, whether it be coming home at a certain hour or sending out a follow-up email. If you don’t anticipate hitting those deadlines, proactively tell the recipient so that everyone can realign expectations. Be a person of your word.
Everyone is now thinking, “What happens when this person keeps making mistakes?” “What happens when they don’t meet their deadlines?” If this is happening constantly, you need to start to think about having a constructive conversation with the person to prevent it from happening again. You might find out that there are ways that you can help!

The job serach attitude

There are so many fantastic pieces of advice for job seekers, so many resources out there to assist you (myself included), but if you don’t get out of bed in the morning with a positive mindset, then the battle is already lost. You’ll muddle through the day, making toast here, having a cup of coffee there. Maybe you’ll write a few articles on LinkedIn to get a few “likes” for some self-affirmation. Before you know it, the day will have passed you by, and you will have achieved very little. In my opinion, there are ten mindsets that are vital for any job seeker to adopt first thing in the morning until last thing at night. You must eat, sleep and breathe them:
Accountability – Only you are in charge of your future. Make sure you explore every avenue.
Self-Discipline – Structure your days as if you are at work. It is so easy to give into pleasant distractions when things are quiet on the job search front. Stay focussed, or you may miss your chance.
Determination – Job searching calls for persistence and a lot of time! You are up against many other job seekers in the same boat – make sure that you go the extra mile. Set high standards for your search, and never let them waver.
Positivity – “I have a lot to offer and would love to be able to share what I know and what I can do.” Find positives wherever you can – they give you fuel for the journey ahead. You do have a lot to offer, never forget it.
Vision – Live in the future, don’t wallow in the past. Aim for where you want to be, without being overly tied to where you were. Blank sheet of paper time – make it colourful.
Respect Yourself - Keep yourself physically active, retain your professional persona, and don’t let yourself go. This is no time to slouch around in smelly t-shirts with empty pizza boxes everywhere.
Allow Negativity – There will be times in the day when you might feel a bit down. This is normal, but you have to learn to “snap out of it” and get on with making a difference.
Keep Growing – Even though you may not be working, you must keep on top of your ability to do your job. Maybe start a blog, go to networking events, take part in webinars. Stay confident in your abilities and knowledge.
Do It Now – There is nothing easier than to say that you will do something tomorrow. Whole weeks can pass if you have this negative mindset. There is nothing like the present. Make it happen
Celebrate Success – You can’t keep up a positive attitude without giving yourself a few “pats on the back” every now and again.
A final aspect of any job search that I would like to mention is that little word “luck.” With the right attitude and approach, that little “break” that you need is ever more likely. If you are slouched on the sofa feeling sorry for yourself, then it may well move onto someone more worthy. Put yourself in the best position possible to catch that fish, believe that it will happen, and be ready to reel it in when you see the float dip below the water….. Good luck!

How to sack your employees

For All The Managers Out There: Here is How To Sack Your Employees

How many employees have you fired so far?
According to Claire Burke, a guardian professional, sacking employees is a scenario that managers dread since it can end up in tears, tempers and if you get it wrong a costly employment tribunal. She says that sacking an employee will never be pleasant but it is a necessary part of the job as a manager. So what is the right way to do it she asks?
Gerry Peyton, Director of consultancy HRPlus says that before it even gets to that point, it's necessary for managers to address problems when they start to emerge and resist the temptation to do nothing.
Peyton says that two things that come into play. 
“First, good old human nature means none of us look forward to dealing with what we see as a difficult situation,” he explains
“Secondly, I have a feeling – this is based on managers I've spoken to over the years – they feel that the pendulum has swung towards the employee and it's going to cause them great difficulty and legal challenges."
From the beginning, the manager is going to look for reasons how they can avoid confronting an employee.
Peyton advices managers to tackle employee irregularities, such as frequently turning up to work late, early on instead of confronting an employee about something that happened months ago.
They should describe the problem to the employee and be as specific as possible in the detail, then explain the impact of their behaviour and how it needs to change.
He adds, "By talking specifics it stops it becoming personal. You've got to be absolutely clear about what you expect from them, and clear about the consequences. Generally a lot of employees wake up and do something about it."
The manager should be dealing with the issue at this early stage, rather than human resources, says Peyton.
"It's easier for a manager to say, 'I've noticed in the last couple of days you've come in late', than someone in human resources saying, 'I hear you've been coming in late'. I don't think managers should be on the phone to HR every time they speak to an employee about their performance."
However, if the problems persist, there's a clear legal process that must be followed. A meeting will be arranged, and the employee should be told beforehand what it is about.
When breaking the news, be sensitive about the timing, advises Bogdan Costea, an expert in performance management at Lancaster University Management School. Leaving someone hanging over the weekend is not the way to do it. "I think leaving people on a Friday with that news is bad," says Costea.
Lara Morgan, founder of Pacific Direct, cautions against letting the meeting go on for too long and advices to keep it short.
If someone responds badly Morgan says that managers should be firm but fair, and should not drag it out. And that they should not do it publicly, insensitively and on their own.
Peyton says that a meeting should be a conversation rather than a telling off. And if tempers flare, the manager must remain calm and refuse to be drawn into a slanging match thereby giving the person chance to vent their anger.
"Sometimes, it's important to let the employee express the emotion; it could be difficult for them to listen to anyone else until they get it off their chest. Have a quick break if tempers need to be cooled."
Should a manager be sympathetic? “Be empathetic to a point, but don't be emotional,” advises Peyton.
Briggs advises telling staff why the person was let go. "Keep the team informed. You don't want them to think you are slashing staff. Make sure they know that person was let go for the benefit of the company and the team."

How to be a remarkable person

Don’t be just original… be Remarkable! What I think makes someone truly remarkable!
The next list is my own opinion and ways of being a remarkable human being in life. You see it has always been a dream of mine to be someone who leaves a mark in history, and for some it may seem a little far-fetched, but I believe that I can. So the following is what I try to live by.
Be Authentic
This is not a very common thing these days believe it or not. When it is there it will simply shine and show through your words and actions and can be something truly powerful for building connections and bonds with people around you.
Live your Life your way
To be honest there is nothing special or remarkable about someone who is trying to fit in and be like other people. Be yourself and be the best that you can be.
Help Others around You without Wanting Anything Back
Take time out to help the people around you. Give some of your time, money, and resources and love to help people and expect nothing in return.
Don’t Try to Be Mr or Miss Perfect
Try to be creative and be abstract rather than trying to live up to other people’s expectation. You can achieve and find great and beautiful things without what people expect from you and living up to some consensus of being perfect.
Face Your Fears
People who run away and avoid things in their lives will never become remarkable. Get the courage to face your fears and conquer them.
Come up with your own Quotes and Sayings
Come up with your own quirky and original sayings. People will take notice and it may even catch on. By coming up with your own original sayings you stand out from everyone else who just uses clichés.
Question the normality around you
Just because something is done by everyone else in the world in a particular way does not always mean that it is the only way or the right way of doing things. Question the norm and don’t be afraid to do something differently.
Take a leap of faith
Be the person who does the things that others don’t. If they are too scared to do something but yet you feel that you aren’t scared yourself to do it, then just go out and do it with all your love, energy and passion.
Learn to say NO
If someone or something goes against your principles and thoughts and you aren’t up for doing thing then there is no harm in saying the word “NO”. Yes you might end up offending some people, but the majority will end up having more respect for you for having your boundaries and sticking to them.
Be a Leader
Don’t be a follower… be a leader! Build up a group of like-minded individuals who will follow you and use your power and strength to make a positive change in the world.
Be Optimistic
Optimism and smiles are contagious. Make the world a happy and positive place
Be confident
Know what you want and be confident that you are going to get it. I think that all remarkable people share the trait of confidence.
Be Humble
Arrogance and vanity are not traits to associate with people you respect and think highly of. No matter how good, famous or wealthy you are, stay humble with both feet on the ground.
You Are Enough
Have the mind-set that you have all the assets to be remarkable. You have talent and you have a gift. Share it with the world.
Create something that brings joy to the world
Be artistic and express your talent in a form that it can be shared with everyone without the expectation of getting rich from it. It’s your gift to the world.
Invent something that everyone needs
There could be one little thing that seems so simple yet will make the lives of millions of people so much easier.
Push the limits
If you can do something that nobody else has been able to achieve, then you will not only get noticed but you will certainly be remarkable. You may just be the psychological inspiration for many others to get past the level that was always thought of as unbreakable.
Think Better
Be a step ahead of everyone else. Think faster, better or more efficiently.
Read More Interesting Things
The more you read, the more you shape your personality. The more interesting things that you read, the more likely you are to become an interesting and remarkable person.
Don’t Be Boring
One requirement of being remarkable is that you are not boring. Be original, fun and get things done.
Stop Making Excuses
Either do something or don’t do it at all. Don’t be someone who always has excuses to stall doing something or justify why you didn’t do something.
Never Settle for Average
Never be content with average or mediocrity. When other people give up and settle, carry on going and be better than them.
Do What You Say
If people can rely on you and they know that when you say something that you will do it, you are well on your way to being remarkable. If you make a promise, keep it.
Don’t Aim to Be Remarkable
As contradictory as it sounds, most remarkable people never set out to be remarkable. They did what they loved and were really passionate and that is what got them to being remarkable

Sorry, I don't owe you an explanation!

Many choices we make in life—ranging from what we do, to how we conduct ourselves, and who we interact with—are subject to prying questions and commentary from those around us. Family members, friends, and even total strangers, it often seems like everyone has an opinion on the things we do, no matter how small or insignificant those things might seem to us.
Sometimes people go so far as to ask you to explain yourself for the decisions or choices you make in your own life. You might feel obliged to respond, but some things are really no one else’s business and you don’t owe anyone an explanation at all for the following 15 things—though you think you do.
1. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your living situation.
Whether you are cohabiting with your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, crashing in different motel rooms across the country, or living with your parents for a while when you are past your twenties, you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone for who you live with and why if you don’t want to. If you are fully aware of your living situation, then it means you have your own reasons for being in that situation that are nobody else’s business.
2. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your life priorities.
You have your own ideas about the things that would make you and your loved ones truly comfortable and happy, which is your main priority. Since we are all unique individuals with different values, dreams and aspirations, your core priorities will be different from the next person’s. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for what you determine is your core priority in life. That is your personal business not other people’s business.
3. You don’t owe anyone an apology if you are not sorry.
If you don’t regret your actions, still think someone is wrong about something or don’t care much for their forgiveness, you don’t have to apologize. Many people are too quick to offer apologies and try to mend wounds that are not yet ready to be mended, which only serves to aggravate the wound and bring more problems. You really don’t have to apologize if you are not sorry or your side of the story hasn’t been heard.
4. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for requiring alone time.
You might worry that you will come across as “rude,” “anti-social” or “aloof” when you cancel plans or other obligations because you need some time alone to reboot, unwind or just enjoy a good book by yourself. However, spending time alone is a completely normal, natural and necessary practice that more people should adopt. Take your alone time confidently because you don’t owe anybody an explanation for it.
5. You don’t owe anyone your agreement on their personal beliefs.
Just because someone shares their personal beliefs passionately doesn’t mean you have to sit there and nod in approval to everything they say. If you don’t share in their beliefs, it is unfair to yourself and to the other person to suppress your own thoughts and feelings and pretend you agree with them. It’s okay and better to disagree with them gracefully instead of bottling up your disapproval and frustrations.
6. You don’t owe anyone a yes to everything they say.
You have a right to say no whenever there is no compelling reason to say yes. In fact, the most successful people in the world are those who have mastered the art of saying no to everything that is not a priority. Acknowledge other people’s kindness and be grateful for it, but don’t be afraid to politely decline anything that takes your focus away from your core goals and priorities. That’s how to get ahead.
7. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your physical appearance.
   
You might be slender, plump, tall, short, pretty, plain or whatever, but you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone for why you look how you do. Your physical appearance is your own business and you are obligated only to yourself. Physical appearance shouldn’t determine your self-worth.
8. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your food preferences.
There are certain foods that you just don’t like at all for different reasons, including taste preference and health issues. You don’t have to explain to anyone at all why you prefer certain foods. Your food preference is a matter that is best left to you. If anyone pesters you about why you are eating (or not eating) certain foods, shrug it off and just say you feel better eating (or not eating) those foods.
9. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your sex life.
As long as it happens with another consenting adult, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for where, when and how you conduct your sex life. You can wait for marriage, try one-night stands or experiment with same sex encounters to your heart’s pleasure and still not have to explain your sexual preferences to anybody.
10. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your career or personal life choices.
Sometimes circumstances force us to choose between work and “having a life.” The decision is not always easy and you might end up choosing work, not because you don’t care about your family or social life, but because you are working on something that will give you security in the future. Either way, you don’t owe others an explanation for choosing a career over your personal life (or vice versa) as long as you are confident about what you are doing and why you are doing it.
11. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your religious or political views.
Whether you are a Democrat, Republican, Catholic, Protestant or Muslim, that is your own personal choice. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for why you are what you are and believe what you believe. If someone can’t accept you for who you are, that is their personal dogma—not yours.
12. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for being single.
Whether you are single by design or by default that is nobody’s business. Being single is not a personality disorder. You are free to be in a relationship or not. Besides, you are far more than your relationship status and singlehood is just one of those social labels no one should really care about.
13. You don’t owe anyone a date just because they asked.
Someone might be nice, good looking and you may even be a little interested, but you don’t owe them a date just because they ask. If you feel deep down you don’t want to go on that date, then don’t. You may offer a reason for declining, but keep it brief and stick to your decision.
14. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your decision about marriage.
Whether or not you choose to get married and have kids or stay unmarried and be childfree, that is your own personal decision. Even your mom who is dying for grandchildren should understand that marriage is a personal decision and not suited for everyone. She should respect your decision about it no matter how hard it is to swallow.
15. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your relationship choices.
Sometimes people make inappropriate commentary about your romantic relationship(s), which is really none of their business. You might overhear comments like you are not the “perfect couple” or you should find someone else. However, you are not answerable to anyone but yourself for your relationship choices. Live your life and never, ever leave or stay in a relationship just because someone else says you have to. Make your own mistakes if you must, but learn from them always.

4 habits of unhappy people and how to fix them

4 habits of unhappy people and how to fix them
Ego says, ‘Once everything falls into place, I’ll feel peace.’ Spirit says, ‘Find your peace, and then everything will fall into place.’” ~Marianne Williamson
Have you ever felt that something was missing in your life?
Who am I kidding, everyone has.
I used to be unhappy. But not just unhappy—miserable.
I’d look at other people and wonder what they had that I didn’t. I was sick of living my life. And being sick of it was the tipping point that changed it all. It’s what got me moving in the direction of what made my heart sing.
As I moved forward, I discovered that what was making me miserable wasn’t outside of me, but the habits I had built up over the years.
I’d like to share with you what those habits were, and how I overcame them.
1. Waiting for clarity.
I thought that in order to do what I loved and be happy, I had to know where I was going.
Turns out that was a mirage. It was a thought that I believed.
When I took action despite feeling confused, and simply did my best, I discovered that I could always take one step forward, clarity or no clarity.
It was like walking in a heavy fog. As long as I kept moving forward, more of my path revealed itself. But if I stood still, nothing would happen.
Fix: Don’t wait for clarity. Listen to your heart, and take one tiny step forward. It doesn’t have to be perfect.
2. Seeking permission from others.
I wanted others to tell me I was on the right track. The more I did this, the emptier I felt inside.
Why? Because I was giving my power away. Instead of listening to my own guidance system, I was relying on someone else. It was confusing and disempowering.
I’ve never had an easy time just trusting life. I worry a lot. But over the years, I’ve realized that trusting myself is the only way toward living a fulfilling life.
Once I stopped trying to seek permission, or figure things out, my inner wisdom grew stronger, because it was no longer clouded by thoughts.
Fix: Don’t look to someone else for validation for your dreams. Go after what makes you come alive. That’s enough.
3. Hoping for future salvation.
Another unhelpful habit I have is living in the future, thinking that reaching my goals will make me happier.
However, I’ve noticed that once again, this is just a thought that I give power to.
I’ve also noticed that I’ve reached plenty of goals that I thought would make me happy, but didn’t.
Like me, you’ve probably heard the following phrase over and over again: “Happiness comes from the inside. It’s available right here, right now.” For a long time, I wondered, “That’s all fine and good, but how do I use that in my life?”
The answer was to witness my thoughts, and let them pass by. I don’t have to believe in every thought that tells me that the future holds the key to my happiness.
Once I let those thoughts pass, I notice that there’s a source of joy within, always available to me.
Fix: When you find yourself living in the future, just notice what you’re doing. Let go of the tendency and observe what’s going on. This is a practice, so don’t worry if you don’t get it perfect.
4. Wanting to take big leaps.
When I get caught up in thinking that the future will save me, I want to take big leaps. I want to hurry to my goal.
Yet this behavior makes reaching my goal less likely. It introduces sloppiness into my work. It produces an aroma of selfishness.
But, if I let things take their time, and if I let those thoughts pass, there’s a sense of peace.
As I write this, I’m not in a hurry. I sense the wanting to finish, but I witness it. I don’t get involved. Then I return my focus to writing, and letting the words flow on paper. And my soul smiles. My heart nods. My breath deepens. I remember: “This is it. This is life.”
Fix: Big leaps assume that happiness is in the future. Take a deep breath. Notice how much happiness is available right now. No big leaps needed, just a remembering of who you are.