An open letter to the new generation youth

Dear young star,

Young man, I pray that these few words of wisdom will find you neither ‘high’ nor drunk so at the last word of this letter you may have a conclusive plan for your life.

I know that your age refrains from books and reading. You would rather spend your precious time checking out the latest vines on YouTube and ‘sexting’ endlessly on Whatsapp. This explains the ignorance being witnessed in our institutions of higher learning. Therefore, under the above considerations I will take upon myself keep my statements precise and concise.

1. Life is not party!

This doesn’t make sense to you, right? You feel something is amiss when you are not nursing a hangover or contented without having a fix to your oral fixation. You love the flirt of a loose lady and hear yourself loud blubbering of how you blacked out as an accomplice of debauchery. Alcohol was invented to make men brave and women loose after all.

While having a good time is essential for all, elevating it to a pedestal of priority is hazardous. Young as you are, you have three great advantages; youth, time and little responsibilities. Engage in constructive engagements so that you can challenge yourself and discover your strengths, learn some skills and enlighten other.

2. Misplaced priorities

There is time for everything, ambition is good but keep it on a leash. If given enough time and thought everything will fall into place then. This will keep disappointments and stress a bay.

You will come to realize that some of the definitions the world gives about marriage, love and success are self-centred, self-seeking and totally misleading. According to common norms the world equates success to power, privilege and wealth. On the other hand, true success has a lot more to do with who we are as individuals than what we accomplish.

If you chase money and power you’ll be blinded to the most important things in your life. In everything: honour, passion and hard work will see you rewarded.

Don’t forget the greatest thing you will ever do is being positive influence in your family, society and country.

3. Relationships and Women

Learn where to get attached and where to keep distance. Have it in mind that 25 percent of the people you will meet along in your life will never have a kind word for you even after extending an olive branch. For such, wash your hands and walk away. Don’t associate yourself where you are not appreciated. It’s their loss.

Remember that you will get married to one woman, meaning that 99 percent of your relationships will fail for that 1percent. As much as pain accompanies rejection appreciate the chance provided to learn from your mistakes. Its failures that refines men!

And when you fall in love look for these three: faithfulness, integrity and ability. Is she faithful i.e. is her word her guard, does her character match with what she professes and finally does she have the ability to love you for who you are? Of course you won’t marry someone with the same testosterone levels; let her physical attributes become secondary.

Many men know how to win a girl’s heart but few know the art of treasuring it. Treasure your woman and you will be surprised.

4. Learn the art of solitude

Social media has made us dependent on each other. It has become a very noisy world. Solitude provides time for oneself to reflect. Solitude is not loneliness; it is the peaceful time you spend with yourself without any distraction such as TV or phones. Why is this important? It gives one a chance to love oneself and derive happiness from within. I am responsible for my own happiness, not my wife or friends. Them they compliment my happiness.

It is important for a man to have time to reflect and rebase his esteem and self-confidence. Release his frustrations and strategize for his future. So when you get the chance to be alone practice the art.

5. Men and Leadership

Our generation has the most feminized male species from their dressing to decision making. It has come to a point you only identify a man by the flatness of the chest or the bulge of the pants. Our men make decisions on how the ‘feel’ and not what they think.

Men are wired to think so that they can provide solutions not evade responsibilities and accountability.

Every man was born a leader. This doesn’t mean you dismiss any lady’s opinion. You have to claim your ‘respectful title’ by proving you are worth the salt. A leader is not arrogant but rather gives cues. He is first a servant and has a teachable spirit. He is ready to accommodate and compromise where necessary.

Lastly, learn to acknowledge God in all your ways. You will never be disappointed.

Good luck.

My life as a DOG!

While I was going about my business sniffing here and there, marking a bush or two with my pee, I kept wondering if there was a new way to hide my hard earned bones other than the traditional dig-a-hole-and-bury method.  Where could I put my bones and watch them grow so I didn’t have to keep scavenging like the stray dog that I am? How could I become the most successful and happiest dog in the neighborhood just like Bosco the smooth furred happy-but-scary bulldog down the street? What did he do to become that confident and powerful? He sure is very ugly but why is his bowl always full? Why is his pack that big?

I decided to face my fears and confront the happiest and most confident dogs [that I admired] in the neighborhood and ask them what their secret was. I was surprised how warmly these happy dogs received me. You see as a dog you get used to being constantly chased off marked territories with your tail right between your legs so you can understand this was new to me! Anyway I asked them how they did it and they gave me five investment options to making my pile of bones grow and most of all being a happy dog.

Invest in yourself; the Bulldog said
Investing in yourself should be your biggest priority. How good are you at fetching? Can you sniff better than the next dog? Are your teeth constantly clean? What do you know about catching a rabbit mid air? Do you practice? As a dog you are constantly in a state of growth. The only difference between you and the next dog is your rate of growth. If you don’t grow you become irrelevant over time. Growth starts from knowledge; how to run without tiring, how to know what to chase and what not to waste your energy on among the things you should master. Knowledge becomes power because it changes the way you act and react. When you put an effort into gaining more knowledge you have understood the first rule of investing in yourself.

Investing in yourself should be your biggest priority. You wish you had a few less pounds so you could run faster? Or you with you had more muscle so you could be the better dog in the fight? Invest in keeping in shape by knowing how your body works and embarking on a training program that will suit you. Keep your fur clean so you can be confident. Keep your teeth clean and sharp and avoid eating leftovers. In our world dogs are attracted to unique dogs who posses’ unusual capability. What is the one unique thing that you posses that a pack will identify you with? Is it how you sniff? Is it how you hunt? What are you good at? Surely you don’t want to be the poor lonely pup that no one remembers for anything! Invest in your uniqueness and the world will reward you for it.

Invest in Family; the Pug said
I know a dog who knows a beagle who dedicated his life to fetching and collecting bones and in the process became very successful… and lonely. During his quest for tasty bones he paid little attention to his bitch and puppies because he convinced himself that he was doing everything so they could enjoy a never ending supply of food in the future. Now his puppies are all grown up and are always turning down his generous gestures because they feel like they are being bribed. His bitch left him and married an average retriever whose big heart compensates for his often empty bowl and they are quite happy. Our rich beagle is forever lonely and what’s more sad is that all the friends he has right now are there because of his pile of bones. It’s good to work hard, but it is also good to share your time with family.

Invest For Yourself; the Rottweiler said
After trying my paws at the numerous hunting ideas I got through friends and family, I have come to the conclusion that I will always sleep hungry when I follow another dog’s hunting idea. My point is, if the prey is not in your kill zone you can always let it go and hunt it another day. All in all knowing that a good hunt is hard to come by, it is very important to keep something for yourself because the future is never a kind friend especially if you didn’t hide your kill well. As with all forms of bone hiding, there are rules and the biggest one is don’t hide all your bones in one hole. To hunt you need energy and this can only come from the bones you saved from the last hunt so you can eat and share but always keep some for yourself.

Invest in Faith; the Poodle said
Yes I was surprised to hear this from a pampered dog that I have never seen hunting. But her point of view raised a very important point. You need to believe that the hunt will be successful. The success of the hunt must first happen between your flappy ears before it can be real.  There are certain events in your life; good and bad that serve as evidence of a power that is always watching over us. Be thankful in advance and acknowledge the greatness of this power. Take time to feed your spiritual self by meditating on a successful hunt. By doing so you can strengthen your faith and live the quality of life you want. Faith is the beacon that always keeps us in the right direction regardless of the situations we face in our lives.

Invest in the Pack; the Terrier said
along the way you will find canines of strategic importance. One of the dogs I interviewed was a terrier named Swish. He told me the main reason for his success was his pack. He likes making new friends and he has realized that every time he’s on a hunt he’ll always find dogs willing to help him track down and catch new rabbits. Why? Because he realizes every dog is unique. Some are fast, some are brave and others like him are smart. He genuinely cares for his friends. He will always visit a member of his pack and offer him a bone for no reason. He will call out his pack for a run in the fields just so they could feel the wind on their flapping tongues together as one. You see, being in the pack is not just about hunting, it’s also about family and support. Just because of investing in his friends, Swish’s pack is the biggest and most successful of all. They eat well and their furs are forever shiny.

Are we all Manipulators?

Why does the word manipulator have to most people a negative response? What does the word mean to you? Controlling? Abusive? Not a nice person?

Manipulator - the meaning shown in the various dictionaries are using the above words. Also “to gain an advantage etc"

Of course this brings us to another question... Who decided the meaning?

 Is it not that every one of us is a manipulator? 

From being born when we first start crying are we not trying to manipulate to gain what we need whether it be attention, food or be cleaned?

When we get up in the morning and shower, dress and for the ladies (maybe some men) put makeup on - are we not looking to manipulate the events of that day to our advantage? 

Or work - when the boss comes into your office and asks for your opinion over a particular subject do you not “hand on heart" consider the question from your viewpoint which in most cases will lead the thoughts of the boss toward seeing the issue from your shoes/viewpoint? Meaning that you may have manipulated him? Of course are any of the above examples wrong to do so?

 Manipulation – when used correctly can be extremely positive. Over my years in selling (OMG selling – another word not liked by many) I have become a very good manipulator and proud of it. 

Anyone who is able to encourage, cajole, direct others to make positive decisions in their life is helping the process toward the correct outcome for that person.

Is manipulation a way of control? Perhaps, but again is it not also a way of allowing others thoughts to be channeled in a way that leads them to a decision for the best?

Think about it another way....

A doctor who knows that you need to stop smoking to allow you to possibly live longer and with less health problems will extol the virtues of not smoking. He will give you all the extremes of what damage it may cause you (if he doesn't he should be!). Ten years later will you not, after watching maybe your friend or another family member die of cancer be thanking that manipulative doctor? I wonder if you have kids how they would thank him! 

So are you a manipulator? More importantly would you like to become a great one that can help yourself and others create a wonderful lifestyle?