Avoid toxic people...they just drag you down!

The world’s full of toxic people, and some can be difficult to avoid. Like a difficult colleagues at work, an evil boss, in-law, step-someone, parent, sibling or spouse.

Some have personality disorders, but many just get that way because it works for them.

They’re usually charming to everyone else — and to you when you first meet. So it’s not easy to see them coming.

And they’re subtle. So you’re forever wondering “is it me?” Or whether you’re “over-reacting” or being “too sensitive.” But it’s not you. It’s them.

They’re forever getting upset about something. When you ask what’s wrong the answer’s usually “Nothing!”with long sighs and grumpy looks.

You find yourself trying everything to make them happy. See why it works for them?

There’s a cycle: slowly the demands build up and a crisis looms. You end up doing what they want. Instantly they’re nice again. But just enough to keep you quiet. And then the demands start to build up again…

They’re controlling and do things that hurt you, while implying it’s all for the good: “You really should skip your classes so we can spend more time together.”
They’re judgemental and exaggerate: “You always…” They never apologise. They endlessly lie and twist everything around. They project their own feelings onto you, and end up convincing you that you’re wrong, lazy, confused, unfair or stupid.
They never ever share your joy. Your good news is never good news: “That pay-rise isn’t much for all the work you’re doing.” They bring up stuff from many arguments ago. And somehow everything always seems to end up about what you’ve done to them. Or the way you’re talking, rather than what you’re talking about. Or they leave everything unfinished and go offline for days at a time. Spot any of this and you should leave, but in many situations you simply can’t. So what can you do?
Choose your battles carefully. Conflict’s the only way they feel important. So save your energy for issues that really matter.
Don’t run to their side in every crisis. Ask once, talk about it and if needs be, apologise. Don’t offer help, you don’t need to explain why, justify your decision or make excuses. Stop trying to please them. Walk away and come back when their mood’s lifted. Especially if they start ranting at you.
You can’t reason with them. You can’t change them. So stop trying. Be clear about your boundaries, and listen when your intuition says something isn’t right. Set your own rules, and stand firm on them.
A poisonous boss is particularly difficult, because you can never win. So just do your best – and start networking for a new job.
Surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself. And always watch for the signs that someone’s toxic. Their behaviour can be breathtakingly damaging. Just make sure they never ever get a chance to use it on you.

Cry our beloved country!

Kenya is gradually bleeding to death. Sadly, we are the ones butchering it. Newspapers are replete with threats from our leaders on stern actions against corrupt officers but over years, corruption index continue to grow.

People are using money to get academic papers. In the end, we have a country where everyone has papers that can beat Russians in making rockets yet lacks practical knowledge.

Hard work is no longer a national value. Many individuals are going for shortcuts to quickly become rich. After all, love no longer makes the world go round, but money does.

We have allowed dogs to feast on ethics.  In fact some say that ethics are building a wall between them and riches. People get scorned for having faithfully served in an organization and retired ‘poor’ when they had a chance “to make money”.

Cases of rogue doctors didn’t start yesterday. Neither will Mugo wa Wairimu’s alleged operation without a license be the last yet Kenyans pay taxes to be saved from dubious practitioners.

How many secrets can be leaked out to terrorists if one can successfully masquerade as a police officer for years? If we send Joshua Waiganjo to the gallows without him telling us who protected him or which tailor made uniform for him, we are only but treating symptoms but allowing the disease to spread.

 Through corruption, one goes for a driving test and is issued with a valid driving license within a day. Yet we carry out campaigns for zero accidents in our roads.

Buildings are approved at the exchange of money and the result is that many lives are lost as those buildings fall.

That there was a Chinese restaurant operating in the capital city without a license and discriminating against Africans speaks volumes about how porous our laws are. Can’t the registrar of companies up his game? Let us move with speed and break these faceless forces that are protecting rogue individuals in Kenya.

Government says there is no money to pay teachers yet some tax agents colludes with some companies to evade tax. Worse, some companies receive tax immunity from some powerful forces within the government.

Which hand is clean to cast the first stone? Even church which should be in the forefront to fighting corruption is a victim of the same.

We need to save us from ourselves. As a nation, we need to rethink about our values.