Hello ladies; Do not date married men!

For a happy couple to be, it's an investment!

When a married man texts you, or calls to ask you out for lunch or dinner, that is not a compliment. It means you are a low-hanging fruit. A quick win for him. That should worry you.

Married men have a lot of insecurities and are always looking for a distraction to make them feel good about themselves. Married men are struggling with nagging, disagreeable, overweight wives.
They are dealing with toxic, crumbling marriages and crying babies at night. Some are struggling with impotence and poor performance.

Others are afraid their wives are doing better than them in their careers and making more money. Some have deep-seated issues with their wives that have to do with money, in-laws, children, and that project that is draining their resources.

Many a married man in this town is just tired. He is only with his wife because divorce is too expensive.

He secretly wishes he could just pack a bag, fuel the car full tank and drive as far as he can from that wife who watches over him like a hawk.

DON'T BE SCARED HUN!
This is not to scare you about marriage but just to let you know where that married man is coming from. If he is not coming from a place of turbulence, he is bored of his wife and children.

He is not coming to you for love or commitment. In fact, married men love only one person. Themselves.

You think he is your boyfriend, but to him, you are just a petty pretty distraction with a sizeable behind devoid of stretch marks. A trophy to be won. A door-mat for his dirty shoes!
No married man is cheating because he has a happy marriage. And if he is not happy, what makes you think that he will make you even remotely happy?

The allure of the married man. The chivalrous gentleman and womaniser par excellence. The sweet cooperate with a prince’s taste for tailor-made suits. A dignified man, who pulls for you a chair, opens the door and picks the tab. He who flies you to the beach for a sundowner. Don’t you dare fall for that. Don’t you ever dream of dating a married man.

Your house is not his safe haven where he feels at home and loved. No darling, your house is a fornicatorium a brothel at best. A little den where he comes to relieve himself of some urges for a few hours before he can kiss you goodnight and speed off to his home in the leafy suburbs.

What I want you to understand is that to him, you are a toy. A toy he plays with when he is bored, lonely or in need of ‘that thing!’.

A married man will never invest a fortune in you. He will never treat you like a wife. In fact darling, if you are looking for financial help from married men, forget it. Married men are the meanest men alive.

There is a common lie that married men tell: “Oh, my wife is in charge of all the bank accounts, she only gives me enough for fuel and never lets me touch the rest. She is a better money manager than me,”

That, my friend, is the oldest lie in the book. Which sane man would surrender all his money to his wife? You are being played, sweetheart!

He will take his family for holiday in Seychelles and Zanzibar, but take you to some nondescript corner in Naivasha because you are not worth the investment. His family gets the bread; you get the crumbs. You are a second-class citizen.

A relationship with a married man is never that of equals. He is the senior partner, you are the junior one. you are a none entity!

He has more money, more influence and he has been in the fornication game longer than you have had that weave on. He has an 80 per cent stake in that relationship, leaving you with a measly twenty!

A married man will never give you his undivided attention, and he will never place you anywhere near his top twenty priorities.

You come to his mind only on that loose Saturday afternoon when the wife is out with the sons at Ligi Ndogo or when she sulks at him for a day or two, or when he needs to have sex.
That is why he will never take your calls when he is at work, but readily pick his wife’s even when he is performing an open-heart surgery or presenting that important project to the Board of Directors!

You don’t matter to him. He won’t bother to call or text you back, until of course he remembers that he is going home to a nasty wife and needs a ‘fix’ from you. On weekends and holidays, you don’t exist. You don’t exist when he is out for dinner with his family.

When it is that time of the month for you, a family trip suddenly crops up. Haha! You thought it was a coincidence?

Don’t even think about having a baby with a married man. He will promise to be there, but he won’t.

If he cannot spend enough time with his legitimate children, how do you expect him to spend time with his bastrad kid!?

How do married men get rid of you? Simple. They start meaningless fights. They have perfected this art from their wives through years of experience. Their toxic marriages are perfect breeding ground for the emotional abusers they are.

When the affair is over, you will be just another hit-and-run for him. Another girl he has had an affair with. You join the club of his ex-mistresses. Married men have had more affairs than Arsenal have won trophies in your 25 year of existence. For them, dealing with a break up is easier than falling off a boda boda.

So next time a married man texts you about having dinner, what do you tell him? He is like a stray dog with a collar on its neck, simply say "shooh!" Go home to your wife, you fool! -

A Clap for the ladies who know their worth upfront!

Love and protect the single mothers!

Today, I would like to celebrate single mothers. I may not have been raised by one, but the burden of single motherhood is not lost on me since the extinction of real men! 

One of my best friends is a single mother, she has two children. From what I see her go through, my admiration and respect for her goes higher each day.

The single mother is the parent who stayed. When things went awry and the man walked away, the single mother stood by her children, and took the world head on.

To me, a single mother is the definition of a wonder woman. Her salary is not her own. It belongs to her children. She is the man and the woman of the house.

She pays the bills single-handedly, draws up the family budget and she must ensure the salary lasts until the next pay.

A single mother must always have cash stashed somewhere in her house in case of midnight emergencies, when the toddler falls sick. This came from another of my closest friend. She had just rushed her four-year-old son to hospital. He had a serious fever and she was worried sick about him.

I called her immediately. The groggy voice on the other end of the line was that of a frustrated and scared single mother who was alone at the hospital with a sick child.

They left the hospital at 5 am. She slept for two hours and woke up to feed the child. She didn’t come to work that day; she had to watch over her boy. The rest of the week, my friend — normally a noisy and jovial girl — had a cloud of worry on her face.

 SINGLE MOTHER - A POWERHOUSE

She does not have the luxury of extra money like her married friends or the single girls she hangs out with. Every cent that lands into her purse is carefully accounted for and really stretched because she has no back-up plan in the form of a husband or a boyfriend.

You cannot compare a single mother to her married counterparts whose husbands accompany them to the pediatrician and take turns to watch over the sick child. The single mother is on her own. She has to watch over her son all by herself and still make it to work the next day.

She has nobody to take turns with as she catches up on sleep. She is a powerhouse.

And when the children begin to ask questions like “Where is daddy?”  the single mom has to come up with solid answers. For the sake of peace and to protect her children, many of them will lie for the dead-beat dad.

Yet, society ostracizes the single mother and ‘slut-shames’ her. Why is she a single mother? They ask. Can’t she keep a man? And how dare she have children out of wedlock? Didn’t she know what she was getting herself into? How can a woman have children by two different men?

We don’t realize that she left an abusive marriage to protect her children from a violent childhood. We don’t realize that she was the parent who stayed when the man walked out on her and even refused to acknowledge the children.

We don’t even realize that she is the widow who was left behind when her husband fell victim to an armed robbery.

We don’t celebrate these single mothers enough because their strength and tenacity intimidates us and we are left wondering; how can a woman possess so much strength?

SINGLE MOTHERS DESERVE LOVE

And when she decides to get herself out there and meet a new man, we tell her she is too old to find love. We say she is damaged goods. That she has too much baggage and she should be happy being alone.

Some even say she does not deserve dowry!

We give her the side-eye, as if single mothers do not deserve love. We call her a loose woman for having children by one man and going out with another. Yet we celebrate men with children by more than one woman.

I take my hat off to the man who will defy societal rules and marry a single mother of two. But for those men who have sworn off single mothers by virtue of their status, there is a special place in hell for you.

We are surrounded by single mothers. She is the definition of a brave woman who was not afraid to face the world by herself as she raised her kids by herself. She is one of the toughest women you will ever meet. single mothers epitomize what it takes to be a wonder woman.

Cheers to single mothers!

The end of paper money!

Bundles of Kenya shillings - image courtesy of internet

I work in Telecommunications industry. I see our customers, myself included, transact a lot in virtual cash! Alas, the end of paper money! A couple of weeks ago, our marketing manager made a comment about money that might make ordinary mortals blink.

She cheerfully predicted that in a decade’s time cash probably won’t exist. Yes, you read that right: all those ugly Uganda shillings, grubby greenbacks and tattered euro bills in your wallet are heading for the dustbin of history. “There is no need for it,” She declared. “It is terribly inefficient and expensive.” Can we believe her? Not if you look at the data.

First, and most obviously, digital and cyber finance is spreading rapidly. Second, some governments are belatedly realizing that reduced use of cash is helpful in terms of security and fighting crime. After all, drug dealers and Islamist militants generally do not use bank accounts or mobile payments. So one way to cut terrorism and crime might be to withdraw the big denomination bills they prefer. The European Commission is already pondering this: it announced sometime back that it is looking at whether to curtail the use of €500 notes. This seems a sensible step, one that other governments should consider.

The third factor that could influence cash usage in the next few years is, again, the stance of central banks themselves. As rates turn negative, central bankers in places such as Switzerland are scrambling to prevent consumers dashing into cash as this not only makes financial transactions less efficient but also makes monetary policy less effective. After all, if people hold physical cash — which, unlike a bank account, is not directly affected by negative rates — central bankers have less control.

So far, nobody has seriously tried to ban cash to make negative rates more effective. But the idea has been floated by people such as Andy Haldane, Bank of England chief economist, and Kenneth Rogoff, the Harvard economist. The idea still seems far-fetched — but the longer rates stay low or negative the more “unthinkable” proposals could become mainstream and (if nothing else) prompt official support for electronic finance.

It may take longer than a decade for virtual cash prediction to come to pass; but it would be dangerous to discount it. For better or worse, the nature of money is changing. And who knows? If this revolution helps curtail tax evasion and terrorist finance — and makes our lives more convenient along the way, too — it might turn out to be one of the better developments to have emerged from the finance industry in recent years.