In negotiating parlance, "win-win"
is a commonly upheld virtue. If both parties win, both parties are happy. So
why is it so often that one party in a so-called win-win situation gets
stiffed? And why is it so often that the party who extols the virtues of
win-win is the one who's the real winner in the end?
Jim Camp, world-renowned negotiation coach,
states that win-win doesn't exist. It's simply an illusion for those who are
uncomfortable with the reality of deal-making: both parties can't win. While
the least experienced deal maker has had the wool pulled over their eyes and
thinks that they're getting a good deal, the wolf sitting across from them has already
eaten their grandmother! We got to face it!
The quicker you understand that win-win is
actually win-lose the more deals you'll find will tip in your favor. Here's a
better framework for more profitable deal-making. Strategies and concepts are
largely from Jim Camp's teachings.
"No"
This two-letter word is the tenant of
effective deal-making. "Yes" is so often associated with
subservience, being easy and being desperate. No one wants to work with someone
who has no respect for themselves. Our society somehow has been conditioned to
feel that "no" is a bad word that should never be uttered in
negotiation. It's quite the contrary.
"No" actually gets things moving.
"Yes" doesn't always mean "yes", "maybe" is
useless and leaves you with nothing. "No" gets questions going and
allows further explorations into a compromise that benefits both parties as
much as possible. "No" gives you back respect and makes people see
that you don't need them, which can make them want you more.
The Big, Bad
Negotiator
If you tell someone that you're a chief negotiator
for a publicly listed, Fortune 500 company, you would probably be met with a
variety of responses. Fear, Perhaps. Awe, Maybe. You'll have a certain image in
their eyes. You should be:
·
physically big and overbearing,
·
have a quick-fire temper,
·
be manipulative.
In reality, these people may not fare so well
against someone who clueless, unimpressive and naive. Yes, someone who doesn't
have experience negotiating will get eaten alive, but you definitely do not
have to be "the whole package" to always get your way. When Bill
Gates was negotiating with high-level executives to get them to have his
Windows systems installed on PCs many moons ago, he was a gangly, young
drop-out who came in, casual as anything and is now one of the richest men in
the world.
Again, it comes down to what you actually say
and having respect for what you want and what you can offer. It's also having
the balls to say "no" and letting people see that you're not going to
be bullied around.
What's In It For Them?
This is one of the things that isn't discussed
much when it comes to negotiating. People think that it's all about them, but
often, focusing on what the other people really want from their demands will
get you a result that's better than anticipated.
For example, if an ex-employee is planning to
extort his old company for millions of dollars, simply caving into pressure or
mounting a fight back against him ends up causing much more collateral damage
than simply seeking to settle out of court. This isn't a sign of weakness. It
takes strength to step out from behind your legal team and to speak with the
threat one on one. You might find that they'll be happy to settle for less if
they are able to get something that's worth more to them which doesn't cost
much more monetarily.
Win-win doesn't work. Win-win ignores the fact
that people are in it for their own best interests. Acknowledge this upfront
and you will get a better result. At the same time, get comfortable saying
"no". It's the best thing you can learn to do and can get you further
in deal and life.
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