Thursday 26 February 2015

Irony of life: fake ladies looking for real men

In the dating and relationship world, everyone has their values. As an individual, your value is determined by various factors, key among them is how you present yourself to your prospective partner or lover. Look at it as promoting or marketing a product to a potential buyer. Of course, the product has to have certain competitive attributes that are desirable and attractive to the buyer. These attributes range from value for money, quality, packaging, authenticity, price among other things.
For ladies who are looking for Mr. Right, my point is this: before you set out on a journey of looking for your prince charming, consider these two things: First, take a moment to assess yourself, the product that is you, that you are promoting or marketing to the potential Mr. Right. Do you have desirable attributes that will attract Mr. Right to you?
Secondly, take a moment to understand the kind of woman that Mr. Right is attracted to and is looking for. This will help you package yourself strategically to meet the needs and expectations of Mr. Right. Sweetheart, the world of dating, if you haven’t yet figured out, is pretty much a game of demand and supply.
Why Mr. Right remains a pipe dream for many women
 First and foremost, the problem we have nowadays is that we have so many sisters looking for Mr. Right, yet they have no clue what Mr. Right is looking for in women. Ladies, understand the simple fact that as you are on a journey of looking for Mr. Right, Mr. Right is also on a journey looking for a Miss Right. My point is this: no decent good man will settle for anything below them. Baby gal, you want a tall, successful guy who is financially stable, smart, well educated and has a nice job? Guess what, that same guy is also looking for a decent, successful, financial stable, intelligent and well-educated lady. The question is, do you have the desirable attributes that your potential Mr. Right is also looking for in a woman?
The second problem is that many women are looking for Mr. Right yet they don’t possess or reflect the attributes that a potential Mr. Right is looking for. No wonder we will never hear the end of women lamenting about the scarcity of good men. Ladies, I am gonna say this with as much respect as I can: the fact that you are a beautiful, successful woman does not in any way guarantee you that you will automatically find your Mr. Right. The fact that you have a pretty face, an irresistible sexy body, and some ravishingly juicy sitting documents does not automatically guarantee or qualify you that you will find a Mr. Right.
A good decent man who is searching for a woman looks for more than just appearance, dressing, nails, hair and a borrowed accent. Real men are looking for women of virtue; women who have their character in place; women who have their finances and career in check, and more importantly women who respect God, their family and themselves. Real men are looking for more than just your makeup, nail polish, lipstick and Louis Vuitton bag. Good men are looking for an intelligent woman; a woman who is focused, principled and has her values and morals in place.
Conclusion
 So, my sisters, before you set out on a journey of looking for a ‘real man’, or before you endlessly complain about the lack of good men – take a long look at yourself first. Do you possess or reflect the attributes that your desired man is looking for? Are you looking for Mr. Right, yet the best you can do in the cooking department is fix him a bowl of Weetabix? Do you know what your potential Mr. Right is looking for in a woman, or are you aimlessly throwing yourself at any man who smiles at you or any man who stares at your cleavage?
Do you have standards, values and principles as a woman who is looking for a good man? Or do you sleep around with any man as long as they are nice to you, or they look like Alejandro? Is your life a long series of partying and clubbing, yet you expect to find a Mr. Right? Sweetheart, remember this: No person, unless they are idiotic, will invest in a product that is fake, without quality, overpriced, or that is not worth their time, energy, needs, and expectations.

Tuesday 24 February 2015

Men too have that biological clock ticking!

We probably will never admit it – but men too have that biological clock going.
Funny thing about life is that it goes on. It doesn’t stop and wait for you to put your act together. It doesn’t wait for you to clear campus, get your dream job that comes customised with a black Subaru or a year’s supply of fresh weaves.
Life simply goes on. And for most of us it’s a little scary, and this is why.
Two weeks ago, I spend my weekend bonding with my buddies. Naturally, I guess due to my age, marriage and the kids subject always pops up.
I have this dude, call him Kizito, who normally throws in his hakuna-haraka-with-these-things response whenever he's smacked with the ‘so when are you settling down?’ One of my cousins though wasn’t convinced. He looked straight into this dude's eyes as if he was watching his own sex-tape, and had asked: How old are you? I swear, he sounded like Mr.Ombayo, my authoritative primary school headmaster!
“Mmmmhh! As in…, Okay, I will be 34 in 3 month’s time,” Kizito fumbled off. Then the discussion got interesting.
Long story short: this is basically the reality of Kizito's life right now. Assuming he gets married in the next one year, for what is worth, he should be expecting his first little rascal, let’s call him/her Kim, when he hits 36. By the time Kim bounces into kindergarten, three years later, Kizito will be 40!
Let’s assume Kim is a bright little thing that won’t repeat kindergarten!! Hebu stop rolling your eyes – My neighbor's kid repeated kindergarten coz he failed class one entrance exam.
Crossing fingers, Kizito is made to buy graduation gowns, balloons and some ridiculous big cake. Wait a minute: yes, I mentioned Kim’s graduation. Kwani you have never been tagged on Facebook of pictures of your friends attending their kid’s graduation in kindergarten? My friend, welcome to the new parenting galaxy.
Where were we? Ooh! So crossing my toes, sorry fingers, Kim finally gets admitted to Class One. Hoping teachers won’t call for strikes every week, little Kim finally clears Class 8. By then this honorable dude, Kizito, will be almost 50, an age where he needs to be drifting into retirement. This means by the time Kim graduates from campus, assuming he would still have a job to pay for his/her fees, and fund Kim’s party-like-a-rock-star lifestyle, he will be 54.
Then give Kim two years of tarmacking – I’m being optimistic here – before he/she gets a job. Remember before Kim gets a job, he/she will still be devouring mlima ya sembe in his dad's house, and incurring unnecessary expenses like asking pesa ya kwenda out. Oh! This generation!
Of course, I am so hoping by this time, Kim won’t have prematurely enjoyed the joy of impregnating Mrs. Jackson’s daughter. Or if Kim, if its a she, won’t be calling some tall, dark, jobless dude living in his parent’s SQ, ‘her handsome baby daddy.’
Remember Kizito is graciously heading to his 60s in full throttle, and we are still talking about Kim, his first rascal. I’m yet to mention Carey The Diva, the second born. There’s Romney Washington Wanjala, his third born. And if the gods allow, there will still be a Southern Bypass Kardashian Nanjekho.
Halafu you always have to expect the ‘golden handshake’ child. For this one, plan to go ethnic to preserve the Shirandula lineage. So, I will smack him with my ancestor’s name: Matendechere Shirandula.
So, in case Kizito decided to have four rascals – which anyway is the plan from his talk, the reality is that, this dude, definitely, will still be changing diapers in his 80s.
Why are you still rolling your eyes? Kwani you don’t know about the Twiraa and Instagram mums of these days? They don’t just pop babies every week like our grandma’s used to do. These days, I am told, after popping a ka-Kim, they need like kedo four years to first lose that baby fat, look cute on photos for their Facebook albums, and volunteer for the MyDressMyChoice movement, before they could CONSIDER adding another toi.
We probably will never admit it – but men too have that biological clock going. So, in case a brother has been ‘putting pressure on you’ to meet his old man, walk down the aisle, move in with him in his hostel room, or pop a rascal for him, like ASAP. Don’t create a WhatsApp group or gather your girlfriends together to discuss the poor chap. No, he hasn’t been diagnosed with prostrate cancer! It’s just that biological thingy.
And for brothers, who are just chilling with – no plans for settling down. No plans for putting their life together. No plans to advance their education or career. No plans for savings and investment. No plans for even someday sending the sexy Mrs. Jackson’s daughter to the maternity ward. No ambitions. No dreams. Remember how we began – unfortunately life goes on. It waits for no one. My advice – it’s never too late to begin planning your life. Better late than never, because trust me, we all have that biological thing. If you are like this dude, you risk being called grandpa by your own little ones!!

Monday 16 February 2015

Kenya: Where whistleblowers are villified

It is as surprising as it is disturbing that a whistle-blower rather than being embraced by the official system should be harassed and vilified for playing a most critical role of calling attention to wrongdoing.
A disturbing trend is taking root in Kenya. A culture of intolerance largely targeting individuals that expose wrongdoings by public officers is mounting.
The most recent incident was last month, when blogger Abraham Mutai was arrested in Mombasa and carted off to Nairobi where he was detained for close to 24 hours and then released.
The arrest was closely followed by the temporary suspension of his Twitter account and blogs. Over the past two months, Mr Mutai had published information, backed by documentary evidence, of alleged corruption in a public agency and some county governments on his online platforms.
This is inconsistent with the oft stated commitment to the fight against corruption and crime generally. It is worth noting that for every investigation or prosecution that is carried out, there is inevitably a whistle-blower involved.
It is becoming clear by the day that in our present environment, blowing the whistle carries a high personal risk – particularly when there is little legal protection against dismissal, humiliation or even physical abuse.
Just as it was for David Munyakei in the Goldenberg scandal and John Githongo in the Anglo-Leasing scandal in the 1990s and 2000s respectively, whistleblowers in 2015 face retaliation in the form of harassment, dismissal from employment, blacklisting, threats and even physical violence, and their disclosures are routinely ignored.
One of the biggest challenges in preventing and fighting corruption lies in detecting and exposing bribery, fraud, theft of public funds and other acts of wrongdoing. This is especially true in Kenya as a vast majority of Kenyans will not report corruption when they encounter it.
The East African Bribery Index 2014 published by Transparency International Kenya shows that nine out of 10 Kenyans who encountered bribery while seeking public services did not report the incident. Varied reasons were given for non-reporting, among them the fear of reprisal or intimidation.
Whistle-blowing is one of the most effective ways of detecting fraud and wrongdoing and facilitating measures to minimise or to prevent further losses. One would therefore expect the relevant authorities to act on information provided by whistle-blowers by conducting further investigations on the alleged corruption incidents, rather than oppress whistle-blowers.
Individuals that come forward to disclose wrongdoing should be embraced and protected, not harassed and ostracised.
 In order to encourage whistle-blowers in Kenya to step forward with information, we need to minimise the risks they face as a result of disclosure.
An effective whistle-blower management and protection system begins and ends with strong policies that clearly and emphatically send a two-fold message that: the Government embraces good faith whistle-blowing; and the whistle-blower will suffer no adverse repercussions as a result of bringing an issue to the attention of those in authority or the public.
We recognise the effort that various stakeholders have invested so far in realising a whistle-blower policy and law. The Department of Justice has been spearheading this process, which Transparency International Kenya supports.
A good whistle-blower protection policy and law will go a long way in protecting people like Mr Mutai, who come forth with reports of corruption and attract reprisals for their actions. Mr Mutai's experience ought to add impetus to the process.
The Office of the Attorney General, under which the Department of Justice falls, should expedite the finalisation of the legislation for tabling in Parliament, and eventual enactment.

Monday 9 February 2015

The Valentine's day trap

This week, he might wake up before his alarm goes off, he will prepare and leave for work without waiting for you as usual.
He will not have breakfast in the house, blame it on the ‘busy’ schedule, and not even appear bothered that he is driving off alone in the car you bought together and subjecting you to the push and shove at the bus terminus every morning.
Remember that worn out suit that you detest? The one that makes people think you are a bad wife?
Yes, he will make sure he has it on at least twice this week. Do not, I repeat, do not try to convince him otherwise; it’s a trap, let him put on all the worn out clothes he wants.
If at all you leave the house together every morning as the ‘happy couple’, don’t try to question him when he pulls the above stunt. Give him all the time he needs to leave the house earlier than expected.
There is a very high possibility that he will ignore your love messages this week, or better still, he might decide to answer them after 32 hours using that one word that makes your heart sink... ‘ok’. If he does that, send him another text of how happy you are after receiving his ‘ok’ reply, in fact, offer him a date for that reply.
Do not dare cook his favourite meal this week, otherwise you will curse the day you met him. Chances are that he will not even move near your meals.
This is because he might decide to get back home full, ready to go to bed. I repeat, it’s a trap. So to save yourself the heartbreak, stay away from the kitchen unless it’s for your own good or the children. If anything, the moment he comes back home and says he is full, smile at him, give him a kiss and say you love him!
This week, he might come to bed and decide to sleep letter ‘Q’ yet he knows very well your bed is too small. He is aware the other will have to bear with sleeping on the edge ready to fall off. Do not throw tantrums, just squeeze yourself in the small space left and sleep letter ‘I’.
Come to think of it, it will even be a miracle if he comes back home throughout the week. Chances are that he might spend some of the nights out and will not bother to explain himself.
I hope by now you know it’s still a trap. If he spends the night out, use that night to sleep all the possible letters on your bed without limitations. When he comes back, welcome him with a high five and tell him how you missed him.
A lot of men will do these and much more annoying things this week just so their women start a fight. Guess what will happen next? He will make sure the fight goes all the way to Valentine’s Day.
We know what will happen if he is not in good terms with you on Valentine’s; someone else will enjoy the day with him. Maybe, just maybe, he already has that someone else in mind this week. Ladies, let us play cool this week. Say NO to whining and nagging.
Relax, morning will come, exactly one week from now. If he will not be with you and gives a flimsy reason, don’t get mad; once again, when he gets home the day after Valentine’s, open the door, smile and give him a high five...this time on his face!

Thursday 5 February 2015

Kenya: The dilemma in Capital Gains Tax

A capital gains tax (CGT) is a tax on, the profit realized on the sale of a non-inventory asset that was purchased at a cost amount that was lower than the amount realized on the sale(capital gains). The most common capital gains are realized from the sale of stocks, bonds, precious metals and property. Not all countries implement a capital gains tax and most have different rates of taxation for individuals and corporations.
The Kenya Revenue Authority (KRA) has defended its decision to re-introduce the capital gains tax saying this is meant to seal evasion loopholes.
THE EXCUSE:
The taxman said the law was merely suspended in 1985 to enable growth in the property market.
In documents filed at the High Court, the authority said reintroduction of CGT is geared towards achieving among other things, fairness in the burden of taxation.
“Horizontal equity relates to where individuals with similar economic circumstances should bear a similar tax burden. Vertical equity requires taxpayers with greater ability to pay a larger tax burden than those with lesser ability,” Mr James Ojee from KRA said.
He said the reintroduction will minimise tax evasion noting that its absence could lead to development of complex schemes to convert income to capital gains so as to avoid paying the tax (which makes sense....for now).
THE TWIST:
Kenya Association of Stockbrokers and Investment Banks moved to court asking that the law be suspended fearing tax liabilities.
They said the Finance Act 2014, which introduced the law on January 1 this year, is a violation and threat to investors, and has created vagueness and uncertainty in the market in regard to charges imposed.
THE DILEMMA:
Prior to 1985, the government used to charge tax payable on net capital gains on transfer of property which included securities.
It was, however, suspended in the same year to encourage investment in the sectors which commands the question; Why was it dropped in the first place and what has changed since then?
MY OPINION:
 I don't buy into the arguments for CGT by the tax man. To me, it looks like KRA are just looking for more money to meet a budget that has a recurrent expenditure of 90%, we are paying a select group of people to have lots and lots of fun
Kenya Association of Stockbrokers should fight this Capital Gains Tax especially on buying/selling of shares tooth and nail with KRA to have it nullified in the courts. CGT is hindrance to the development and growth of the economy. I don't buy KRA statement that it is to seal tax evasion loopholes,while many tax evasions are happening in all kind of businesses. My concerns here are simply towards Shares and not on properties capital Gains Tax.
Maybe its time Kenya learnt from Rwanda. Kagame's administration has used tax holidays and waivers to encourage investors. So far, the Rwandese economy is growing gradually!! Kenya should stop strangling the economy further....its already in ICU!!
This is capital punishment!!!