There are so many fantastic pieces of advice for job seekers, so many resources out there to assist you (myself included), but if you don’t get out of bed in the morning with a positive mindset, then the battle is already lost. You’ll muddle through the day, making toast here, having a cup of coffee there. Maybe you’ll write a few articles on LinkedIn to get a few “likes” for some self-affirmation. Before you know it, the day will have passed you by, and you will have achieved very little. In my opinion, there are ten mindsets that are vital for any job seeker to adopt first thing in the morning until last thing at night. You must eat, sleep and breathe them:
Accountability – Only you are in charge of your future. Make sure you explore every avenue.
Self-Discipline – Structure your days as if you are at work. It is so easy to give into pleasant distractions when things are quiet on the job search front. Stay focussed, or you may miss your chance.
Determination – Job searching calls for persistence and a lot of time! You are up against many other job seekers in the same boat – make sure that you go the extra mile. Set high standards for your search, and never let them waver.
Positivity – “I have a lot to offer and would love to be able to share what I know and what I can do.” Find positives wherever you can – they give you fuel for the journey ahead. You do have a lot to offer, never forget it.
Vision – Live in the future, don’t wallow in the past. Aim for where you want to be, without being overly tied to where you were. Blank sheet of paper time – make it colourful.
Respect Yourself - Keep yourself physically active, retain your professional persona, and don’t let yourself go. This is no time to slouch around in smelly t-shirts with empty pizza boxes everywhere.
Allow Negativity – There will be times in the day when you might feel a bit down. This is normal, but you have to learn to “snap out of it” and get on with making a difference.
Keep Growing – Even though you may not be working, you must keep on top of your ability to do your job. Maybe start a blog, go to networking events, take part in webinars. Stay confident in your abilities and knowledge.
Do It Now – There is nothing easier than to say that you will do something tomorrow. Whole weeks can pass if you have this negative mindset. There is nothing like the present. Make it happen
Celebrate Success – You can’t keep up a positive attitude without giving yourself a few “pats on the back” every now and again.
A final aspect of any job search that I would like to mention is that little word “luck.” With the right attitude and approach, that little “break” that you need is ever more likely. If you are slouched on the sofa feeling sorry for yourself, then it may well move onto someone more worthy. Put yourself in the best position possible to catch that fish, believe that it will happen, and be ready to reel it in when you see the float dip below the water….. Good luck!
Wednesday 30 July 2014
Thursday 24 July 2014
How to sack your employees
For All The Managers Out There: Here is How To Sack Your Employees
How many employees have you fired so far?
According to Claire Burke, a guardian professional, sacking employees is a scenario that managers dread since it can end up in tears, tempers and if you get it wrong a costly employment tribunal. She says that sacking an employee will never be pleasant but it is a necessary part of the job as a manager. So what is the right way to do it she asks?
Gerry Peyton, Director of consultancy HRPlus says that before it even gets to that point, it's necessary for managers to address problems when they start to emerge and resist the temptation to do nothing.
Peyton says that two things that come into play.
“First, good old human nature means none of us look forward to dealing with what we see as a difficult situation,” he explains
“Secondly, I have a feeling – this is based on managers I've spoken to over the years – they feel that the pendulum has swung towards the employee and it's going to cause them great difficulty and legal challenges."
From the beginning, the manager is going to look for reasons how they can avoid confronting an employee.
Peyton advices managers to tackle employee irregularities, such as frequently turning up to work late, early on instead of confronting an employee about something that happened months ago.
They should describe the problem to the employee and be as specific as possible in the detail, then explain the impact of their behaviour and how it needs to change.
He adds, "By talking specifics it stops it becoming personal. You've got to be absolutely clear about what you expect from them, and clear about the consequences. Generally a lot of employees wake up and do something about it."
The manager should be dealing with the issue at this early stage, rather than human resources, says Peyton.
"It's easier for a manager to say, 'I've noticed in the last couple of days you've come in late', than someone in human resources saying, 'I hear you've been coming in late'. I don't think managers should be on the phone to HR every time they speak to an employee about their performance."
However, if the problems persist, there's a clear legal process that must be followed. A meeting will be arranged, and the employee should be told beforehand what it is about.
When breaking the news, be sensitive about the timing, advises Bogdan Costea, an expert in performance management at Lancaster University Management School. Leaving someone hanging over the weekend is not the way to do it. "I think leaving people on a Friday with that news is bad," says Costea.
Lara Morgan, founder of Pacific Direct, cautions against letting the meeting go on for too long and advices to keep it short.
If someone responds badly Morgan says that managers should be firm but fair, and should not drag it out. And that they should not do it publicly, insensitively and on their own.
Peyton says that a meeting should be a conversation rather than a telling off. And if tempers flare, the manager must remain calm and refuse to be drawn into a slanging match thereby giving the person chance to vent their anger.
"Sometimes, it's important to let the employee express the emotion; it could be difficult for them to listen to anyone else until they get it off their chest. Have a quick break if tempers need to be cooled."
Should a manager be sympathetic? “Be empathetic to a point, but don't be emotional,” advises Peyton.
Briggs advises telling staff why the person was let go. "Keep the team informed. You don't want them to think you are slashing staff. Make sure they know that person was let go for the benefit of the company and the team."
How many employees have you fired so far?
According to Claire Burke, a guardian professional, sacking employees is a scenario that managers dread since it can end up in tears, tempers and if you get it wrong a costly employment tribunal. She says that sacking an employee will never be pleasant but it is a necessary part of the job as a manager. So what is the right way to do it she asks?
Gerry Peyton, Director of consultancy HRPlus says that before it even gets to that point, it's necessary for managers to address problems when they start to emerge and resist the temptation to do nothing.
Peyton says that two things that come into play.
“First, good old human nature means none of us look forward to dealing with what we see as a difficult situation,” he explains
“Secondly, I have a feeling – this is based on managers I've spoken to over the years – they feel that the pendulum has swung towards the employee and it's going to cause them great difficulty and legal challenges."
From the beginning, the manager is going to look for reasons how they can avoid confronting an employee.
Peyton advices managers to tackle employee irregularities, such as frequently turning up to work late, early on instead of confronting an employee about something that happened months ago.
They should describe the problem to the employee and be as specific as possible in the detail, then explain the impact of their behaviour and how it needs to change.
He adds, "By talking specifics it stops it becoming personal. You've got to be absolutely clear about what you expect from them, and clear about the consequences. Generally a lot of employees wake up and do something about it."
The manager should be dealing with the issue at this early stage, rather than human resources, says Peyton.
"It's easier for a manager to say, 'I've noticed in the last couple of days you've come in late', than someone in human resources saying, 'I hear you've been coming in late'. I don't think managers should be on the phone to HR every time they speak to an employee about their performance."
However, if the problems persist, there's a clear legal process that must be followed. A meeting will be arranged, and the employee should be told beforehand what it is about.
When breaking the news, be sensitive about the timing, advises Bogdan Costea, an expert in performance management at Lancaster University Management School. Leaving someone hanging over the weekend is not the way to do it. "I think leaving people on a Friday with that news is bad," says Costea.
Lara Morgan, founder of Pacific Direct, cautions against letting the meeting go on for too long and advices to keep it short.
If someone responds badly Morgan says that managers should be firm but fair, and should not drag it out. And that they should not do it publicly, insensitively and on their own.
Peyton says that a meeting should be a conversation rather than a telling off. And if tempers flare, the manager must remain calm and refuse to be drawn into a slanging match thereby giving the person chance to vent their anger.
"Sometimes, it's important to let the employee express the emotion; it could be difficult for them to listen to anyone else until they get it off their chest. Have a quick break if tempers need to be cooled."
Should a manager be sympathetic? “Be empathetic to a point, but don't be emotional,” advises Peyton.
Briggs advises telling staff why the person was let go. "Keep the team informed. You don't want them to think you are slashing staff. Make sure they know that person was let go for the benefit of the company and the team."
Monday 21 July 2014
How to be a remarkable person
Don’t be just original… be Remarkable! What I think makes someone truly remarkable!
The next list is my own opinion and ways of being a remarkable human being in life. You see it has always been a dream of mine to be someone who leaves a mark in history, and for some it may seem a little far-fetched, but I believe that I can. So the following is what I try to live by.
Be Authentic
This is not a very common thing these days believe it or not. When it is there it will simply shine and show through your words and actions and can be something truly powerful for building connections and bonds with people around you.
Live your Life your way
To be honest there is nothing special or remarkable about someone who is trying to fit in and be like other people. Be yourself and be the best that you can be.
Help Others around You without Wanting Anything Back
Take time out to help the people around you. Give some of your time, money, and resources and love to help people and expect nothing in return.
Don’t Try to Be Mr or Miss Perfect
Try to be creative and be abstract rather than trying to live up to other people’s expectation. You can achieve and find great and beautiful things without what people expect from you and living up to some consensus of being perfect.
Face Your Fears
People who run away and avoid things in their lives will never become remarkable. Get the courage to face your fears and conquer them.
Come up with your own Quotes and Sayings
Come up with your own quirky and original sayings. People will take notice and it may even catch on. By coming up with your own original sayings you stand out from everyone else who just uses clichés.
Question the normality around you
Just because something is done by everyone else in the world in a particular way does not always mean that it is the only way or the right way of doing things. Question the norm and don’t be afraid to do something differently.
Take a leap of faith
Be the person who does the things that others don’t. If they are too scared to do something but yet you feel that you aren’t scared yourself to do it, then just go out and do it with all your love, energy and passion.
Learn to say NO
If someone or something goes against your principles and thoughts and you aren’t up for doing thing then there is no harm in saying the word “NO”. Yes you might end up offending some people, but the majority will end up having more respect for you for having your boundaries and sticking to them.
Be a Leader
Don’t be a follower… be a leader! Build up a group of like-minded individuals who will follow you and use your power and strength to make a positive change in the world.
Be Optimistic
Optimism and smiles are contagious. Make the world a happy and positive place
Be confident
Know what you want and be confident that you are going to get it. I think that all remarkable people share the trait of confidence.
Be Humble
Arrogance and vanity are not traits to associate with people you respect and think highly of. No matter how good, famous or wealthy you are, stay humble with both feet on the ground.
You Are Enough
Have the mind-set that you have all the assets to be remarkable. You have talent and you have a gift. Share it with the world.
Create something that brings joy to the world
Be artistic and express your talent in a form that it can be shared with everyone without the expectation of getting rich from it. It’s your gift to the world.
Invent something that everyone needs
There could be one little thing that seems so simple yet will make the lives of millions of people so much easier.
Push the limits
If you can do something that nobody else has been able to achieve, then you will not only get noticed but you will certainly be remarkable. You may just be the psychological inspiration for many others to get past the level that was always thought of as unbreakable.
Think Better
Be a step ahead of everyone else. Think faster, better or more efficiently.
Read More Interesting Things
The more you read, the more you shape your personality. The more interesting things that you read, the more likely you are to become an interesting and remarkable person.
Don’t Be Boring
One requirement of being remarkable is that you are not boring. Be original, fun and get things done.
Stop Making Excuses
Either do something or don’t do it at all. Don’t be someone who always has excuses to stall doing something or justify why you didn’t do something.
Never Settle for Average
Never be content with average or mediocrity. When other people give up and settle, carry on going and be better than them.
Do What You Say
If people can rely on you and they know that when you say something that you will do it, you are well on your way to being remarkable. If you make a promise, keep it.
Don’t Aim to Be Remarkable
As contradictory as it sounds, most remarkable people never set out to be remarkable. They did what they loved and were really passionate and that is what got them to being remarkable
The next list is my own opinion and ways of being a remarkable human being in life. You see it has always been a dream of mine to be someone who leaves a mark in history, and for some it may seem a little far-fetched, but I believe that I can. So the following is what I try to live by.
Be Authentic
This is not a very common thing these days believe it or not. When it is there it will simply shine and show through your words and actions and can be something truly powerful for building connections and bonds with people around you.
Live your Life your way
To be honest there is nothing special or remarkable about someone who is trying to fit in and be like other people. Be yourself and be the best that you can be.
Help Others around You without Wanting Anything Back
Take time out to help the people around you. Give some of your time, money, and resources and love to help people and expect nothing in return.
Don’t Try to Be Mr or Miss Perfect
Try to be creative and be abstract rather than trying to live up to other people’s expectation. You can achieve and find great and beautiful things without what people expect from you and living up to some consensus of being perfect.
Face Your Fears
People who run away and avoid things in their lives will never become remarkable. Get the courage to face your fears and conquer them.
Come up with your own Quotes and Sayings
Come up with your own quirky and original sayings. People will take notice and it may even catch on. By coming up with your own original sayings you stand out from everyone else who just uses clichés.
Question the normality around you
Just because something is done by everyone else in the world in a particular way does not always mean that it is the only way or the right way of doing things. Question the norm and don’t be afraid to do something differently.
Take a leap of faith
Be the person who does the things that others don’t. If they are too scared to do something but yet you feel that you aren’t scared yourself to do it, then just go out and do it with all your love, energy and passion.
Learn to say NO
If someone or something goes against your principles and thoughts and you aren’t up for doing thing then there is no harm in saying the word “NO”. Yes you might end up offending some people, but the majority will end up having more respect for you for having your boundaries and sticking to them.
Be a Leader
Don’t be a follower… be a leader! Build up a group of like-minded individuals who will follow you and use your power and strength to make a positive change in the world.
Be Optimistic
Optimism and smiles are contagious. Make the world a happy and positive place
Be confident
Know what you want and be confident that you are going to get it. I think that all remarkable people share the trait of confidence.
Be Humble
Arrogance and vanity are not traits to associate with people you respect and think highly of. No matter how good, famous or wealthy you are, stay humble with both feet on the ground.
You Are Enough
Have the mind-set that you have all the assets to be remarkable. You have talent and you have a gift. Share it with the world.
Create something that brings joy to the world
Be artistic and express your talent in a form that it can be shared with everyone without the expectation of getting rich from it. It’s your gift to the world.
Invent something that everyone needs
There could be one little thing that seems so simple yet will make the lives of millions of people so much easier.
Push the limits
If you can do something that nobody else has been able to achieve, then you will not only get noticed but you will certainly be remarkable. You may just be the psychological inspiration for many others to get past the level that was always thought of as unbreakable.
Think Better
Be a step ahead of everyone else. Think faster, better or more efficiently.
Read More Interesting Things
The more you read, the more you shape your personality. The more interesting things that you read, the more likely you are to become an interesting and remarkable person.
Don’t Be Boring
One requirement of being remarkable is that you are not boring. Be original, fun and get things done.
Stop Making Excuses
Either do something or don’t do it at all. Don’t be someone who always has excuses to stall doing something or justify why you didn’t do something.
Never Settle for Average
Never be content with average or mediocrity. When other people give up and settle, carry on going and be better than them.
Do What You Say
If people can rely on you and they know that when you say something that you will do it, you are well on your way to being remarkable. If you make a promise, keep it.
Don’t Aim to Be Remarkable
As contradictory as it sounds, most remarkable people never set out to be remarkable. They did what they loved and were really passionate and that is what got them to being remarkable
Sunday 20 July 2014
Sorry, I don't owe you an explanation!
Many choices we make in life—ranging from what we do, to how we conduct ourselves, and who we interact with—are subject to prying questions and commentary from those around us. Family members, friends, and even total strangers, it often seems like everyone has an opinion on the things we do, no matter how small or insignificant those things might seem to us.
Sometimes people go so far as to ask you to explain yourself for the decisions or choices you make in your own life. You might feel obliged to respond, but some things are really no one else’s business and you don’t owe anyone an explanation at all for the following 15 things—though you think you do.
1. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your living situation.
Whether you are cohabiting with your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, crashing in different motel rooms across the country, or living with your parents for a while when you are past your twenties, you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone for who you live with and why if you don’t want to. If you are fully aware of your living situation, then it means you have your own reasons for being in that situation that are nobody else’s business.
2. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your life priorities.
You have your own ideas about the things that would make you and your loved ones truly comfortable and happy, which is your main priority. Since we are all unique individuals with different values, dreams and aspirations, your core priorities will be different from the next person’s. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for what you determine is your core priority in life. That is your personal business not other people’s business.
3. You don’t owe anyone an apology if you are not sorry.
If you don’t regret your actions, still think someone is wrong about something or don’t care much for their forgiveness, you don’t have to apologize. Many people are too quick to offer apologies and try to mend wounds that are not yet ready to be mended, which only serves to aggravate the wound and bring more problems. You really don’t have to apologize if you are not sorry or your side of the story hasn’t been heard.
4. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for requiring alone time.
You might worry that you will come across as “rude,” “anti-social” or “aloof” when you cancel plans or other obligations because you need some time alone to reboot, unwind or just enjoy a good book by yourself. However, spending time alone is a completely normal, natural and necessary practice that more people should adopt. Take your alone time confidently because you don’t owe anybody an explanation for it.
5. You don’t owe anyone your agreement on their personal beliefs.
Just because someone shares their personal beliefs passionately doesn’t mean you have to sit there and nod in approval to everything they say. If you don’t share in their beliefs, it is unfair to yourself and to the other person to suppress your own thoughts and feelings and pretend you agree with them. It’s okay and better to disagree with them gracefully instead of bottling up your disapproval and frustrations.
6. You don’t owe anyone a yes to everything they say.
You have a right to say no whenever there is no compelling reason to say yes. In fact, the most successful people in the world are those who have mastered the art of saying no to everything that is not a priority. Acknowledge other people’s kindness and be grateful for it, but don’t be afraid to politely decline anything that takes your focus away from your core goals and priorities. That’s how to get ahead.
7. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your physical appearance.
You might be slender, plump, tall, short, pretty, plain or whatever, but you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone for why you look how you do. Your physical appearance is your own business and you are obligated only to yourself. Physical appearance shouldn’t determine your self-worth.
8. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your food preferences.
There are certain foods that you just don’t like at all for different reasons, including taste preference and health issues. You don’t have to explain to anyone at all why you prefer certain foods. Your food preference is a matter that is best left to you. If anyone pesters you about why you are eating (or not eating) certain foods, shrug it off and just say you feel better eating (or not eating) those foods.
9. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your sex life.
As long as it happens with another consenting adult, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for where, when and how you conduct your sex life. You can wait for marriage, try one-night stands or experiment with same sex encounters to your heart’s pleasure and still not have to explain your sexual preferences to anybody.
10. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your career or personal life choices.
Sometimes circumstances force us to choose between work and “having a life.” The decision is not always easy and you might end up choosing work, not because you don’t care about your family or social life, but because you are working on something that will give you security in the future. Either way, you don’t owe others an explanation for choosing a career over your personal life (or vice versa) as long as you are confident about what you are doing and why you are doing it.
11. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your religious or political views.
Whether you are a Democrat, Republican, Catholic, Protestant or Muslim, that is your own personal choice. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for why you are what you are and believe what you believe. If someone can’t accept you for who you are, that is their personal dogma—not yours.
12. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for being single.
Whether you are single by design or by default that is nobody’s business. Being single is not a personality disorder. You are free to be in a relationship or not. Besides, you are far more than your relationship status and singlehood is just one of those social labels no one should really care about.
13. You don’t owe anyone a date just because they asked.
Someone might be nice, good looking and you may even be a little interested, but you don’t owe them a date just because they ask. If you feel deep down you don’t want to go on that date, then don’t. You may offer a reason for declining, but keep it brief and stick to your decision.
14. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your decision about marriage.
Whether or not you choose to get married and have kids or stay unmarried and be childfree, that is your own personal decision. Even your mom who is dying for grandchildren should understand that marriage is a personal decision and not suited for everyone. She should respect your decision about it no matter how hard it is to swallow.
15. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your relationship choices.
Sometimes people make inappropriate commentary about your romantic relationship(s), which is really none of their business. You might overhear comments like you are not the “perfect couple” or you should find someone else. However, you are not answerable to anyone but yourself for your relationship choices. Live your life and never, ever leave or stay in a relationship just because someone else says you have to. Make your own mistakes if you must, but learn from them always.
Friday 18 July 2014
4 habits of unhappy people and how to fix them
4 habits of unhappy people and how to fix them
Ego says, ‘Once everything falls into place, I’ll feel peace.’ Spirit says, ‘Find your peace, and then everything will fall into place.’” ~Marianne Williamson
Have you ever felt that something was missing in your life?
Who am I kidding, everyone has.
I used to be unhappy. But not just unhappy—miserable.
I’d look at other people and wonder what they had that I didn’t. I was sick of living my life. And being sick of it was the tipping point that changed it all. It’s what got me moving in the direction of what made my heart sing.
As I moved forward, I discovered that what was making me miserable wasn’t outside of me, but the habits I had built up over the years.
I’d like to share with you what those habits were, and how I overcame them.
1. Waiting for clarity.
I thought that in order to do what I loved and be happy, I had to know where I was going.
Turns out that was a mirage. It was a thought that I believed.
When I took action despite feeling confused, and simply did my best, I discovered that I could always take one step forward, clarity or no clarity.
It was like walking in a heavy fog. As long as I kept moving forward, more of my path revealed itself. But if I stood still, nothing would happen.
Fix: Don’t wait for clarity. Listen to your heart, and take one tiny step forward. It doesn’t have to be perfect.
2. Seeking permission from others.
I wanted others to tell me I was on the right track. The more I did this, the emptier I felt inside.
Why? Because I was giving my power away. Instead of listening to my own guidance system, I was relying on someone else. It was confusing and disempowering.
I’ve never had an easy time just trusting life. I worry a lot. But over the years, I’ve realized that trusting myself is the only way toward living a fulfilling life.
Once I stopped trying to seek permission, or figure things out, my inner wisdom grew stronger, because it was no longer clouded by thoughts.
Fix: Don’t look to someone else for validation for your dreams. Go after what makes you come alive. That’s enough.
3. Hoping for future salvation.
Another unhelpful habit I have is living in the future, thinking that reaching my goals will make me happier.
However, I’ve noticed that once again, this is just a thought that I give power to.
I’ve also noticed that I’ve reached plenty of goals that I thought would make me happy, but didn’t.
Like me, you’ve probably heard the following phrase over and over again: “Happiness comes from the inside. It’s available right here, right now.” For a long time, I wondered, “That’s all fine and good, but how do I use that in my life?”
The answer was to witness my thoughts, and let them pass by. I don’t have to believe in every thought that tells me that the future holds the key to my happiness.
Once I let those thoughts pass, I notice that there’s a source of joy within, always available to me.
Fix: When you find yourself living in the future, just notice what you’re doing. Let go of the tendency and observe what’s going on. This is a practice, so don’t worry if you don’t get it perfect.
4. Wanting to take big leaps.
When I get caught up in thinking that the future will save me, I want to take big leaps. I want to hurry to my goal.
Yet this behavior makes reaching my goal less likely. It introduces sloppiness into my work. It produces an aroma of selfishness.
But, if I let things take their time, and if I let those thoughts pass, there’s a sense of peace.
As I write this, I’m not in a hurry. I sense the wanting to finish, but I witness it. I don’t get involved. Then I return my focus to writing, and letting the words flow on paper. And my soul smiles. My heart nods. My breath deepens. I remember: “This is it. This is life.”
Fix: Big leaps assume that happiness is in the future. Take a deep breath. Notice how much happiness is available right now. No big leaps needed, just a remembering of who you are.
Ego says, ‘Once everything falls into place, I’ll feel peace.’ Spirit says, ‘Find your peace, and then everything will fall into place.’” ~Marianne Williamson
Have you ever felt that something was missing in your life?
Who am I kidding, everyone has.
I used to be unhappy. But not just unhappy—miserable.
I’d look at other people and wonder what they had that I didn’t. I was sick of living my life. And being sick of it was the tipping point that changed it all. It’s what got me moving in the direction of what made my heart sing.
As I moved forward, I discovered that what was making me miserable wasn’t outside of me, but the habits I had built up over the years.
I’d like to share with you what those habits were, and how I overcame them.
1. Waiting for clarity.
I thought that in order to do what I loved and be happy, I had to know where I was going.
Turns out that was a mirage. It was a thought that I believed.
When I took action despite feeling confused, and simply did my best, I discovered that I could always take one step forward, clarity or no clarity.
It was like walking in a heavy fog. As long as I kept moving forward, more of my path revealed itself. But if I stood still, nothing would happen.
Fix: Don’t wait for clarity. Listen to your heart, and take one tiny step forward. It doesn’t have to be perfect.
2. Seeking permission from others.
I wanted others to tell me I was on the right track. The more I did this, the emptier I felt inside.
Why? Because I was giving my power away. Instead of listening to my own guidance system, I was relying on someone else. It was confusing and disempowering.
I’ve never had an easy time just trusting life. I worry a lot. But over the years, I’ve realized that trusting myself is the only way toward living a fulfilling life.
Once I stopped trying to seek permission, or figure things out, my inner wisdom grew stronger, because it was no longer clouded by thoughts.
Fix: Don’t look to someone else for validation for your dreams. Go after what makes you come alive. That’s enough.
3. Hoping for future salvation.
Another unhelpful habit I have is living in the future, thinking that reaching my goals will make me happier.
However, I’ve noticed that once again, this is just a thought that I give power to.
I’ve also noticed that I’ve reached plenty of goals that I thought would make me happy, but didn’t.
Like me, you’ve probably heard the following phrase over and over again: “Happiness comes from the inside. It’s available right here, right now.” For a long time, I wondered, “That’s all fine and good, but how do I use that in my life?”
The answer was to witness my thoughts, and let them pass by. I don’t have to believe in every thought that tells me that the future holds the key to my happiness.
Once I let those thoughts pass, I notice that there’s a source of joy within, always available to me.
Fix: When you find yourself living in the future, just notice what you’re doing. Let go of the tendency and observe what’s going on. This is a practice, so don’t worry if you don’t get it perfect.
4. Wanting to take big leaps.
When I get caught up in thinking that the future will save me, I want to take big leaps. I want to hurry to my goal.
Yet this behavior makes reaching my goal less likely. It introduces sloppiness into my work. It produces an aroma of selfishness.
But, if I let things take their time, and if I let those thoughts pass, there’s a sense of peace.
As I write this, I’m not in a hurry. I sense the wanting to finish, but I witness it. I don’t get involved. Then I return my focus to writing, and letting the words flow on paper. And my soul smiles. My heart nods. My breath deepens. I remember: “This is it. This is life.”
Fix: Big leaps assume that happiness is in the future. Take a deep breath. Notice how much happiness is available right now. No big leaps needed, just a remembering of who you are.
Thursday 17 July 2014
Biz failure? Blame top Management
The myopic view of top management
In Today’s competitive world where the competitors fight neck to neck, the only way to sustain the Competitive Advantage is to not overtly focused on the present but to think on long term perspective.
During my limited corporate experience what I observed with a few of the Organizations were, to my surprise, the Top Management was quite concerned only about the near term gains. Albeit it’s important to focus on near future what’s agonizing is the myopic view of the Top Management.
They clasp the outdated ideologies, hang on to the status quo and fear the slightest change but wish the profits go up year-on-year. In most of the Organizations, the Vision statements are mere wish lists or decorative strings of ornamental words hanging on their websites, with no apparent efforts/plans towards achieving the same.
Why fear the change?
Most Organizations have the capable people who perform their best on a day to day basis but do not have time or willingness to look beyond their current activities. These are the people who keep running relentlessly but do not know why. An Organization definitely needs these people. They make a perfect execution team. But an Organization filled mostly/solely with these type of people would fail in long term.
These types of Organizations fear change because there are no people who could foresee the unforeseen. So, they clasp each others hands, close their eyes tight and say nothing’s going to change. In reality, everything’s changing… at their own pace.
What to do about it?
“
Employers and business leaders need people who can think for themselves – who can take initiative and be the solution to problems. – Stephen Covey
As Stephen Covey mentioned, Organizations need people at top who can think and look beyond the status quo. A guy who can take a short break from the rat race and observe from a distance or take an aerial view of the situation and make corrections appropriate.
Top Management or Business owners must actively spot these people either inside the organization or in the market and reward them with right opportunities. Hiring or promoting such strategic thinkers should be seen as long term investment for the Organization rather than as an expense
In Today’s competitive world where the competitors fight neck to neck, the only way to sustain the Competitive Advantage is to not overtly focused on the present but to think on long term perspective.
During my limited corporate experience what I observed with a few of the Organizations were, to my surprise, the Top Management was quite concerned only about the near term gains. Albeit it’s important to focus on near future what’s agonizing is the myopic view of the Top Management.
They clasp the outdated ideologies, hang on to the status quo and fear the slightest change but wish the profits go up year-on-year. In most of the Organizations, the Vision statements are mere wish lists or decorative strings of ornamental words hanging on their websites, with no apparent efforts/plans towards achieving the same.
Why fear the change?
Most Organizations have the capable people who perform their best on a day to day basis but do not have time or willingness to look beyond their current activities. These are the people who keep running relentlessly but do not know why. An Organization definitely needs these people. They make a perfect execution team. But an Organization filled mostly/solely with these type of people would fail in long term.
These types of Organizations fear change because there are no people who could foresee the unforeseen. So, they clasp each others hands, close their eyes tight and say nothing’s going to change. In reality, everything’s changing… at their own pace.
What to do about it?
“
Employers and business leaders need people who can think for themselves – who can take initiative and be the solution to problems. – Stephen Covey
As Stephen Covey mentioned, Organizations need people at top who can think and look beyond the status quo. A guy who can take a short break from the rat race and observe from a distance or take an aerial view of the situation and make corrections appropriate.
Top Management or Business owners must actively spot these people either inside the organization or in the market and reward them with right opportunities. Hiring or promoting such strategic thinkers should be seen as long term investment for the Organization rather than as an expense
Wednesday 16 July 2014
How to survive office politics
In my view, one of life’s greatest ambitions is to remain authentic. Never underestimate the many circumstances, however, that will challenge your ability to be yourself – particularly early in your career.
Navigating office politics is one of these challenges. It is a high-ranking test of one’s character and belief.
The view of politics from the HoD's helicopter seat is predictable and vivid. It is much easier to see personal agendas, competition, ‘backstabbing’ (a word I loathe), and false relationships at play amongst those eager to succeed. But for the less seasoned professional, workplace politics can be a costly and demoralising distraction.
So, the earlier you learn how to navigate your surrounds, the quicker the career you deserve begins. It took me longer than it should've to work this out. I incorrectly focused on the moments of politics, not the long term game to benefit my career. I was guilty of being distracted by futile, ‘in the moment’ politics. Don’t let that happen to you.
Be better than me – try these tips:
1) Learn how to influence
Influencing is an invaluable asset of leadership, but it is also complex to attain and wield. At the core of effective influencing is the art of building authentic relationships in your work environment. This involves the simple principle of being genuinely curious about people – for instance, their interests, motivations and ambitions. This curiosity should extend beyond just those that you may directly work with. My effectiveness as an influencer came from building broad and honest relationships across the business. While we didn’t always agree on issues, there was a genuine respect for each other. Legitimately getting to know people will more often than not smoke out disingenuous political agendas.
2) Don’t resent others success
This is a sleeping giant. A really important habit to get into is to play your long game – focus on your career, not that of others. In almost every work environment I have been in, the least gracious people are the most unsuccessful. You must learn to appreciate and acknowledge other’s success. I know that can be tough for highly competitive people, but be generous – people will notice. There is nothing more appealing than the genuine support of colleagues. These moments can change the nature of relationships for the better. It also sends a signal that you are above any petty jealousies.
3) Toughen up
As you know in life and business, things are not always fair and reasonable. As a HoD, I always observe people’s reactions to difficult scenarios, such as missing out on a promotion, dealing with confrontation or personality clashes. This is important because if someone exhibits calm, respectful objectivity in such circumstances, it tells me they are building the maturity for greater success into the future. They are developing objectivity. They are toughening up.
4) Ignore the pack
From the moment you walked into the schoolyard, the challenge to be yourself began. To this day, your perception of yourself is, to some extent, shaped by your experiences with people. In almost every work environment, whether it’s a result of a poor work culture, or the convenience of jumping on the bandwagon of popular opinion, pack mentality exists. The most successful people are able to manage and build relationships with many and varied individuals, without ever being pressured, coerced or influenced to join a destructive pack. Always seek to remain a collaborative individual, rather than a compliant groupie.
5) The long game
Don’t let office politics distract you from the long game. Ultimately, the goal of your long game should revolve around three things. Firstly, take every opportunity to build and maintain relationships across the business. Secondly, expose yourself to a variety of environments both within and outside your place of work (through volunteering, for instance). This will provide you with a greater capacity to work alongside people who face different issues and challenges in their respective roles. Last of all, make it your business to position yourself as the person who will help conclude a difficult project, step in to assist when disagreements arise, or provide a positive perspective when others are no longer capable of doing so. By focusing on these three long game objectives, your context and judgement will continue to improve, and you will further insulate yourself from the petty politician(s).
Navigating office politics is one of these challenges. It is a high-ranking test of one’s character and belief.
The view of politics from the HoD's helicopter seat is predictable and vivid. It is much easier to see personal agendas, competition, ‘backstabbing’ (a word I loathe), and false relationships at play amongst those eager to succeed. But for the less seasoned professional, workplace politics can be a costly and demoralising distraction.
So, the earlier you learn how to navigate your surrounds, the quicker the career you deserve begins. It took me longer than it should've to work this out. I incorrectly focused on the moments of politics, not the long term game to benefit my career. I was guilty of being distracted by futile, ‘in the moment’ politics. Don’t let that happen to you.
Be better than me – try these tips:
1) Learn how to influence
Influencing is an invaluable asset of leadership, but it is also complex to attain and wield. At the core of effective influencing is the art of building authentic relationships in your work environment. This involves the simple principle of being genuinely curious about people – for instance, their interests, motivations and ambitions. This curiosity should extend beyond just those that you may directly work with. My effectiveness as an influencer came from building broad and honest relationships across the business. While we didn’t always agree on issues, there was a genuine respect for each other. Legitimately getting to know people will more often than not smoke out disingenuous political agendas.
2) Don’t resent others success
This is a sleeping giant. A really important habit to get into is to play your long game – focus on your career, not that of others. In almost every work environment I have been in, the least gracious people are the most unsuccessful. You must learn to appreciate and acknowledge other’s success. I know that can be tough for highly competitive people, but be generous – people will notice. There is nothing more appealing than the genuine support of colleagues. These moments can change the nature of relationships for the better. It also sends a signal that you are above any petty jealousies.
3) Toughen up
As you know in life and business, things are not always fair and reasonable. As a HoD, I always observe people’s reactions to difficult scenarios, such as missing out on a promotion, dealing with confrontation or personality clashes. This is important because if someone exhibits calm, respectful objectivity in such circumstances, it tells me they are building the maturity for greater success into the future. They are developing objectivity. They are toughening up.
4) Ignore the pack
From the moment you walked into the schoolyard, the challenge to be yourself began. To this day, your perception of yourself is, to some extent, shaped by your experiences with people. In almost every work environment, whether it’s a result of a poor work culture, or the convenience of jumping on the bandwagon of popular opinion, pack mentality exists. The most successful people are able to manage and build relationships with many and varied individuals, without ever being pressured, coerced or influenced to join a destructive pack. Always seek to remain a collaborative individual, rather than a compliant groupie.
5) The long game
Don’t let office politics distract you from the long game. Ultimately, the goal of your long game should revolve around three things. Firstly, take every opportunity to build and maintain relationships across the business. Secondly, expose yourself to a variety of environments both within and outside your place of work (through volunteering, for instance). This will provide you with a greater capacity to work alongside people who face different issues and challenges in their respective roles. Last of all, make it your business to position yourself as the person who will help conclude a difficult project, step in to assist when disagreements arise, or provide a positive perspective when others are no longer capable of doing so. By focusing on these three long game objectives, your context and judgement will continue to improve, and you will further insulate yourself from the petty politician(s).
Tuesday 15 July 2014
Hustling success out of setbacks
To say we’ve had setbacks is an understatement. On just about every one of our major projects, there have been setbacks from the start, continuing on through every phase, including finding the right partner, negotiating the deal, staffing up, delivering, assessing and even winding down. I wouldn’t know what smooth sailing feels like.
Setbacks aren’t the same as failures. Failure is when you reach the point where you can’t continue on toward your goal; you’ve ended up on a dead-end track, and there’s no way to get from here to there. Setbacks, in contrast, can be part of your path to success—they may be detours from a straight-line route, but they might lie along a potentially viable route, leaving you with a way forward.
In fact, you could define success as the positive culmination of a series of setbacks. If you’re not encountering any hitches, either you’ve failed to lead your organization toward its most promising and therefore challenging opportunities, or you’re simply missing all the clues that setbacks are brewing.
Even though setbacks are part and parcel of success, they can still sink you if you don’t deal with them effectively. Here are my strategies for pushing past setbacks:
Establish an early warning system. It was when we failed to see trouble on the horizon that we were most badly bitten by a setback. In general, the sooner you start in on a fix, the more options you’ll have to avoid real damage. Everyone in the organization from the front lines to leadership should feel encouraged to report bad news immediately. We also solicit frank client feedback on an ongoing basis.
Measure. Sometimes you won’t be able to notice that things are slipping unless you’ve got good data at your fingertips. Setting up a solid measurement and analysis system can take real effort, but it will pay for itself many times over.
Don’t overreact. You want to move swiftly to assess your options and begin repairs, but often our first instinct when confronted with trouble is to do what turns out to be exactly the wrong thing. If you take drastic action before you understand what’s happening, you can make things worse.
Trust your team. It’s tempting for a leader to jump in and try to solve serious problems when they arise. But if you’ve done your job as a leader, you’ve put a team in place that deserves a shot at fixing things. Certainly you’ll want to provide guidance, support and resources, but that should be all you need to contribute, unless things continue to go downhill.
Don’t bail out prematurely. It’s hard to tell a setback from failure until you’re looking back on it. Better to assume it’s just a setback and pound away at the problem as long as you see options. One of our biggest challenges, for example, is a sudden shortage of talented, experienced people to staff a large, new collaboration. We don’t solve that problem as much as wear it down through recruiting, training, mentoring, shuffling positions, and much more.
Don’t make failure worse. All organizations encounter failure. Don’t flail and throw good money after bad, or place further demands on partners and clients who have clearly had enough. Back away as gracefully as possible, leaving as few bad feelings and wasted resources in your wake as possible.
Build an institutional memory. Every setback and failure comes with a build-up, warning signs, recognition of a problem, repair efforts, assessments, and good or poor results. Record these in a lessons-learned database that all managers can use, so that when history repeats itself, it’s to good end.
Setbacks aren’t the same as failures. Failure is when you reach the point where you can’t continue on toward your goal; you’ve ended up on a dead-end track, and there’s no way to get from here to there. Setbacks, in contrast, can be part of your path to success—they may be detours from a straight-line route, but they might lie along a potentially viable route, leaving you with a way forward.
In fact, you could define success as the positive culmination of a series of setbacks. If you’re not encountering any hitches, either you’ve failed to lead your organization toward its most promising and therefore challenging opportunities, or you’re simply missing all the clues that setbacks are brewing.
Even though setbacks are part and parcel of success, they can still sink you if you don’t deal with them effectively. Here are my strategies for pushing past setbacks:
Establish an early warning system. It was when we failed to see trouble on the horizon that we were most badly bitten by a setback. In general, the sooner you start in on a fix, the more options you’ll have to avoid real damage. Everyone in the organization from the front lines to leadership should feel encouraged to report bad news immediately. We also solicit frank client feedback on an ongoing basis.
Measure. Sometimes you won’t be able to notice that things are slipping unless you’ve got good data at your fingertips. Setting up a solid measurement and analysis system can take real effort, but it will pay for itself many times over.
Don’t overreact. You want to move swiftly to assess your options and begin repairs, but often our first instinct when confronted with trouble is to do what turns out to be exactly the wrong thing. If you take drastic action before you understand what’s happening, you can make things worse.
Trust your team. It’s tempting for a leader to jump in and try to solve serious problems when they arise. But if you’ve done your job as a leader, you’ve put a team in place that deserves a shot at fixing things. Certainly you’ll want to provide guidance, support and resources, but that should be all you need to contribute, unless things continue to go downhill.
Don’t bail out prematurely. It’s hard to tell a setback from failure until you’re looking back on it. Better to assume it’s just a setback and pound away at the problem as long as you see options. One of our biggest challenges, for example, is a sudden shortage of talented, experienced people to staff a large, new collaboration. We don’t solve that problem as much as wear it down through recruiting, training, mentoring, shuffling positions, and much more.
Don’t make failure worse. All organizations encounter failure. Don’t flail and throw good money after bad, or place further demands on partners and clients who have clearly had enough. Back away as gracefully as possible, leaving as few bad feelings and wasted resources in your wake as possible.
Build an institutional memory. Every setback and failure comes with a build-up, warning signs, recognition of a problem, repair efforts, assessments, and good or poor results. Record these in a lessons-learned database that all managers can use, so that when history repeats itself, it’s to good end.
Monday 14 July 2014
Management lessons from the FIFA World cup
The FIFA World cup fever just came to an end. Some games were delightful, some heart-breaking. Fans all over the globe cheered for their favorite teams, while others hoped that may the best team win. There are some significant management lessons that can be learnt from the World Cup Football games.
1. The significance of Leaders. The coaches and the lead players in the football teams created expectations, dreams and hopes for the respective teams. They inspired, motivated and influenced the followers. The experience of the lead players enriched their contribution. In the Corporate world, the senior executives create, retain and shape the expectations of the shareholders, customers and the employees.
2. The significance of Teamwork. The winning team and the other top teams demonstrated the power of co-ordinated team work. Football is not a one man game and neither is running a business. While the leaders can create the initial hype or excitement about a new product, service or company, it is the co-ordinated and integrated team work across all the departments that ensure the successful implementation of the projects. Strategic team management is the key for seamless and harmonious co-ordination and is at the root of long term success of any organization.
3. Conflict Management. Successful conflict management is a significant factor to ensure team harmony. In Football, there are rules to be followed and if the teams fail to score goals within the allotted time, they are allowed extra time and penalty kicks. In the Corporate world, resolution of conflicts is of fundamental importance to lessen the burden on the limited resources of man, materials and money. Different strategies like avoidance, defusion and confrontation and others, can be applied by the management, based on the impact of the conflict on time, finances and morale of the employees.
4. Diversity Management. Football fans may be from different parts of the globe and be equally interested, passionate and supportive like the home country. In today's age of Globalization and advancement of technology, similar diversities exist in the client or customer base, as well as internally within the organization, amongst the leaders and the different employees. They may come from different nations, different religious beliefs, different socio-economical backgrounds, different generations and sexes. In order to meet the demands of the different markets, leaders need to respect and understand the difference in the needs of the diverse groups. Also, recent researches have shown the significance of successful diversity management within the organization to increased productivity, morale, increased feelings of job satisfaction and increased overall respect for the leaders.
5. Strategic Execution. Nothing speaks louder than victory in the Football games. In the Corporate world as well, all the endeavors come down to strategic execution. An important lesson that can be learnt from the football games in this respect is how the teams that learn and often re-design their strategies based on the opposition team, are the ones who reach the level of the top four. Similarly, in the Corporate world, strategies are formed in the beginning, but often need to be re-designed, revised during the course of the projects in order to ensure successful execution of the goals. Different performance motivators can also be used in order to boost the morale of the workforce during the different stages of strategy execution.
Lastly, in the games, the physical strength of the teams go hand in hand with their mental strengths. Managers need to keep in mind this aspect as well and train, guide and lead the employees towards successful implementation of the corporate goals.
1. The significance of Leaders. The coaches and the lead players in the football teams created expectations, dreams and hopes for the respective teams. They inspired, motivated and influenced the followers. The experience of the lead players enriched their contribution. In the Corporate world, the senior executives create, retain and shape the expectations of the shareholders, customers and the employees.
2. The significance of Teamwork. The winning team and the other top teams demonstrated the power of co-ordinated team work. Football is not a one man game and neither is running a business. While the leaders can create the initial hype or excitement about a new product, service or company, it is the co-ordinated and integrated team work across all the departments that ensure the successful implementation of the projects. Strategic team management is the key for seamless and harmonious co-ordination and is at the root of long term success of any organization.
3. Conflict Management. Successful conflict management is a significant factor to ensure team harmony. In Football, there are rules to be followed and if the teams fail to score goals within the allotted time, they are allowed extra time and penalty kicks. In the Corporate world, resolution of conflicts is of fundamental importance to lessen the burden on the limited resources of man, materials and money. Different strategies like avoidance, defusion and confrontation and others, can be applied by the management, based on the impact of the conflict on time, finances and morale of the employees.
4. Diversity Management. Football fans may be from different parts of the globe and be equally interested, passionate and supportive like the home country. In today's age of Globalization and advancement of technology, similar diversities exist in the client or customer base, as well as internally within the organization, amongst the leaders and the different employees. They may come from different nations, different religious beliefs, different socio-economical backgrounds, different generations and sexes. In order to meet the demands of the different markets, leaders need to respect and understand the difference in the needs of the diverse groups. Also, recent researches have shown the significance of successful diversity management within the organization to increased productivity, morale, increased feelings of job satisfaction and increased overall respect for the leaders.
5. Strategic Execution. Nothing speaks louder than victory in the Football games. In the Corporate world as well, all the endeavors come down to strategic execution. An important lesson that can be learnt from the football games in this respect is how the teams that learn and often re-design their strategies based on the opposition team, are the ones who reach the level of the top four. Similarly, in the Corporate world, strategies are formed in the beginning, but often need to be re-designed, revised during the course of the projects in order to ensure successful execution of the goals. Different performance motivators can also be used in order to boost the morale of the workforce during the different stages of strategy execution.
Lastly, in the games, the physical strength of the teams go hand in hand with their mental strengths. Managers need to keep in mind this aspect as well and train, guide and lead the employees towards successful implementation of the corporate goals.
Sunday 13 July 2014
Of Mr Charming with a black eye
After the heartbreak of losing my house-girl sweetheart to a spanner-wielding giant of a mechanic, I am moving on. Yep, that quick. It is the fortunate thing about being a man. We are getting rejections all the time and the least you can do is get used to them. Especially a man of my looks, I got loads of experience in the rejection area, trust me. In fact, my chances of scoring a hit are give or take one to 15. You see this receding bump above my right eye? This was a result of my dome colliding with a loaded blue handbag two weeks ago.
It was as I would call it my 14th attempt before I met Flora. So I spied this girl sitting all alone on the garden of Jevanjee Gardens in the city and she was looking all lonely and sad. I observed her for a whole 20 minutes as she kept on looking at her phone after every three seconds. I deduced that she was waiting for someone who was lousy at keeping time. I could tell that she was getting more jittery and impatient as time wore on and when she started sighing loudly, I decided to make my move.
So I sauntered over to her bench and installed myself right next to her, stretched my hand along the armrest and gave her a long hard stare. I call it ‘my intimidating stare’ and apparently, it is supposed to mellow the girl’s heart by me asserting control and authority. Do not ask me where I discovered it or why I do it because I do not know. Fact is, it never works but I still keep on doing it anyhow. After a minute of my classic move, I could tell she was getting really uneasy at which point I opened my talker and introduced myself and my intentions.
See, I am not a bloke to beat around the bush, go straight to the point, is my policy, and again, it hardly ever works but I still do it for one reason or another. “Sasa msupa,” I started in my macho drawl, “naona huyo boy hakuji. Lakini hayuko worth wewe, sasa waonaje mimi na wewe tuishie kwako, kwanza uniundie msosi, alafu nikushow baraka ninazobeba?”
When I analysed the scenario later, replayed it from the moment I sat next to her to the moment the blue handbag met with my brains, I discovered the series of unfortunate miscalculations that I did.
First, I remembered that I had not taken a shower for four straight days. See, the landlord was arrested about a week before for illegal water connection and our reserves had dwindled out over time. So when I sat next to the lonely chick and stretched my arm, the stench from under my armpits probably gave her a massive high. I also refused to read the twisting of her nose and pulling of the head furthest from my body as a danger sign.
Further, I misread the contortion of the facial features due to harassed smell senses as signs of my intimidation charm working. The next miscalculation I made was open my mouth. See, due to the factor above, brushing of teeth in my Banda estate had been rendered impractical. It never is a major consideration, to be honest, but with the water crisis, we have all but discarded the well worn out toothbrushes. So when I opened my mouth to deliver what I thought was my killer speech, the stench might have been worse than the one coming from the sewer.
The final miscalculation was to assume that the girl was lonely and had been stood up. With all these factors put together, I should have been alert enough to duck when I saw the flash of blue rushing towards my face, but I didn’t. The connection was hard enough to make me see butterflies for a minute and by the time they had flown away, the damsel had vanished. But she was my 14th attempt at getting me a girlfriend, I would presume since shortly after, I met Flora and got her. In simple terms for you my friend, for every girlfriend that I get, I have made over 14th attempts and gotten as much number of rejections.
As you can see therefore, it wasn’t really that hard moving on after the devastation of Flora. But now, I have decided that I am not going to live in poverty on account of my looks. I have hit an inspiration, and it came in the name of a girl named Vera. I watched her on my neighbour’s TV the other day, through the holes I have drilled in the tin partitioning of ‘the cave’ and gosh, I could not believe my eyes. The girl is loaded, I mean, like thoroughly asserted. I could swear it was like a tonne, the one she sits on.
Personally, I don’t like them that huge. I prefer a girl I can carry in case of an emergency. But I must admit I was drooling all over myself as she strutted her stuff to the more salivating TV guy. However, I have a problem with her skin colour. Spent Sh50 million to transform her colour, is what she said. Sh50 million? Thunders hit me! And she used it to change her colour to that of ripe paw paw? I love ripe paw paw, for your information. I love eating it, I love the way it looks. But I love that colour only when it is on ripe paw paw.
When you put it on a black girl, she looks kind of sickly, unnatural. This girl Sidika looks weird and alien and to imagine that she acquired the looks at a cost of Sh50 million is still shorting my thinker. Fact is, she is not a girl I would take to my ma, sufferer as I am, not that she would consider it anyhow —Vera, that is. But I am thinking that if she can be so wealthy, looking the way she does, then I am confident that if I introduced a new concept, male socialitism, I will be wealthy and famous in no time. That is why I am conducting a research on what you females like in men. Big muscles and other paraphernalia are obvious. What I need is that thing that will make me stand out so that I will be hogging the newspapers in no time
It was as I would call it my 14th attempt before I met Flora. So I spied this girl sitting all alone on the garden of Jevanjee Gardens in the city and she was looking all lonely and sad. I observed her for a whole 20 minutes as she kept on looking at her phone after every three seconds. I deduced that she was waiting for someone who was lousy at keeping time. I could tell that she was getting more jittery and impatient as time wore on and when she started sighing loudly, I decided to make my move.
So I sauntered over to her bench and installed myself right next to her, stretched my hand along the armrest and gave her a long hard stare. I call it ‘my intimidating stare’ and apparently, it is supposed to mellow the girl’s heart by me asserting control and authority. Do not ask me where I discovered it or why I do it because I do not know. Fact is, it never works but I still keep on doing it anyhow. After a minute of my classic move, I could tell she was getting really uneasy at which point I opened my talker and introduced myself and my intentions.
See, I am not a bloke to beat around the bush, go straight to the point, is my policy, and again, it hardly ever works but I still do it for one reason or another. “Sasa msupa,” I started in my macho drawl, “naona huyo boy hakuji. Lakini hayuko worth wewe, sasa waonaje mimi na wewe tuishie kwako, kwanza uniundie msosi, alafu nikushow baraka ninazobeba?”
When I analysed the scenario later, replayed it from the moment I sat next to her to the moment the blue handbag met with my brains, I discovered the series of unfortunate miscalculations that I did.
First, I remembered that I had not taken a shower for four straight days. See, the landlord was arrested about a week before for illegal water connection and our reserves had dwindled out over time. So when I sat next to the lonely chick and stretched my arm, the stench from under my armpits probably gave her a massive high. I also refused to read the twisting of her nose and pulling of the head furthest from my body as a danger sign.
Further, I misread the contortion of the facial features due to harassed smell senses as signs of my intimidation charm working. The next miscalculation I made was open my mouth. See, due to the factor above, brushing of teeth in my Banda estate had been rendered impractical. It never is a major consideration, to be honest, but with the water crisis, we have all but discarded the well worn out toothbrushes. So when I opened my mouth to deliver what I thought was my killer speech, the stench might have been worse than the one coming from the sewer.
The final miscalculation was to assume that the girl was lonely and had been stood up. With all these factors put together, I should have been alert enough to duck when I saw the flash of blue rushing towards my face, but I didn’t. The connection was hard enough to make me see butterflies for a minute and by the time they had flown away, the damsel had vanished. But she was my 14th attempt at getting me a girlfriend, I would presume since shortly after, I met Flora and got her. In simple terms for you my friend, for every girlfriend that I get, I have made over 14th attempts and gotten as much number of rejections.
As you can see therefore, it wasn’t really that hard moving on after the devastation of Flora. But now, I have decided that I am not going to live in poverty on account of my looks. I have hit an inspiration, and it came in the name of a girl named Vera. I watched her on my neighbour’s TV the other day, through the holes I have drilled in the tin partitioning of ‘the cave’ and gosh, I could not believe my eyes. The girl is loaded, I mean, like thoroughly asserted. I could swear it was like a tonne, the one she sits on.
Personally, I don’t like them that huge. I prefer a girl I can carry in case of an emergency. But I must admit I was drooling all over myself as she strutted her stuff to the more salivating TV guy. However, I have a problem with her skin colour. Spent Sh50 million to transform her colour, is what she said. Sh50 million? Thunders hit me! And she used it to change her colour to that of ripe paw paw? I love ripe paw paw, for your information. I love eating it, I love the way it looks. But I love that colour only when it is on ripe paw paw.
When you put it on a black girl, she looks kind of sickly, unnatural. This girl Sidika looks weird and alien and to imagine that she acquired the looks at a cost of Sh50 million is still shorting my thinker. Fact is, she is not a girl I would take to my ma, sufferer as I am, not that she would consider it anyhow —Vera, that is. But I am thinking that if she can be so wealthy, looking the way she does, then I am confident that if I introduced a new concept, male socialitism, I will be wealthy and famous in no time. That is why I am conducting a research on what you females like in men. Big muscles and other paraphernalia are obvious. What I need is that thing that will make me stand out so that I will be hogging the newspapers in no time
Clean Driving Licence & Horror on the road
I wonder if a large stone in a riverbed can be said to have the experience of just being immersed therein! Can we say that this particular stone has more experience to be under the river than another stone thrown in it sometime later? This question got me thinking when I recently bought myself a second hand car manufactured at a date when dinosaurs roamed the earth! I hold a clean driving licence issued 10 years ago when I turned 21. I went to a driving school which of course has a motto saying: ‘Guaranteed pass!’ I have thought all schools should have such a motto, simply because that way, we shall have a population hundred per cent graduate.
The tired phrase of ‘Vision 2030’ shall become a reality if schools were tuned to become like driving schools. There were some 36 of us in that school at the time of the exam and we had of course paid for the ‘guaranteed pass’ and all the policemen invigilating the exams loved us. We made all the mistakes possible but all that was excused with a pat on the back. One person had refused to pay for the ‘guaranteed pass’ on the grounds that he is a born-again Christian. He could drive and all he needed was certification from the authorities.
He did everything right till we reached the board. He was given a miniature car and ordered to take it to some street and park it. This was not possible since it couldn’t just be done. Our Christian told the great officer that the task was impossible and that is how he failed! We who had paid for the ‘guaranteed pass’ were just told to move the little car two millimetres ahead and we passed with flying colours.
Our Christian rushed back to the driving school to complain about the officers and they reminded him of the guarantee! The poor fellow needed the driving licence to get a sales job which he craved for and thus, he had to shove the Messiah behind and pay for the ‘guaranteed pass’. This time round he had to pay double and the officer in charge told him, “Hata kama wewe ni Patrick Njiru usipolipa hapa utafeli!”
It was a great piece of advice which I suppose this lover of the saviour understood well and has kept in his religious heart to date. After the ‘guaranteed pass’, I never drove anybody’s car but just like the large stone in the river bed, I kept amassing experience and renewing my licence religiously just like the born-again salesman. Since I was not driving, I of course caused no accident at all thus my driving licence was as clean as a whistle. I was just waiting for an advert which says an organisation requires a fellow with 10 years driving experience and a clean driving licence.
I would of course land the job and then puzzle out how to drive. A few weeks ago my brand-new second hand came into the picture and I forked out my rather new driver’s licence and got behind the wheels. That is when reality dawned on me about the guaranteed pass that I had purchased! I just couldn’t balance the car on the road and I have now become the terror of the neighbourhood. All children melt away behind trees and large walls whenever I get into the car!
They somehow know instinctively that I am a very experienced driver who went through a guaranteed pass school. The first day I blundered into my own house through the front door when I wanted to reverse! I realised the mistake immediately and tried to brake but I stepped on the gas and frightened my wife into a scream. I got out of the house in a huff and blamed Japanese technology, when I got to the road I saw my wife crossing herself on the side view mirror; she crossed herself in the catholic manner even though she is a multiple born- again Christian who goes to church everyday of the week! That scared me big-time.
When I got to the main road, I wanted to indicate the direction I was turning to but I only succeeded in putting on the headlights in broad daylight. That bothered me and as I was trying to fiddle with the stem in order to switch them off, I managed to switch on the wipers. They startled me and I momentarily lost control and stepped on the gas and brakes at the same time stopping short of pasting a mkokoteni and it’s pusher upon a perimeter wall some 20 feet away from the road!
It was getting hectic and I was sweating like a horse. It dawned on me that driving must be the hardest job on earth after begging! I left in a huff and joined the road again with my head lamps on and the wiper dancing on the windshield like a mad robot on a hot sunny afternoon. I wanted to put on the hazard lights but I just couldn’t figure out where to press! Humiliating manner It is in this humiliating manner that I reached my destination some five kilometres to the north coast. I double parked the car for fear of scratching the others.
One askari did not like it so he told me to move the car and give space to other drivers wishing to park. I calmly gave him the keys and he did it for me. It was shameful. I put the car keys in my pocket because I think it is shameful to dangle keys in your hand or put them upon a table when you are in company. It looks like an advertisement of success; a pettiness of thought a silly method of seducing the opposite sex! When the meeting was over and I had forgotten all about my afternoon misery, I said goodbye to the organisers and promptly jumped into a taxi.
Just when we had covered two kilometres, the conductor asked for the fare and what do I find in my pocket… the car keys! It dawned on me that I had forgotten my car at the hotel parking! It was getting dark! How I drove back home is a story I do not wish to share. All I can say dear reader is that there is a brand-new second-hand car for sale and any interested party should contact me asap! Guaranteed pass may kill me
The tired phrase of ‘Vision 2030’ shall become a reality if schools were tuned to become like driving schools. There were some 36 of us in that school at the time of the exam and we had of course paid for the ‘guaranteed pass’ and all the policemen invigilating the exams loved us. We made all the mistakes possible but all that was excused with a pat on the back. One person had refused to pay for the ‘guaranteed pass’ on the grounds that he is a born-again Christian. He could drive and all he needed was certification from the authorities.
He did everything right till we reached the board. He was given a miniature car and ordered to take it to some street and park it. This was not possible since it couldn’t just be done. Our Christian told the great officer that the task was impossible and that is how he failed! We who had paid for the ‘guaranteed pass’ were just told to move the little car two millimetres ahead and we passed with flying colours.
Our Christian rushed back to the driving school to complain about the officers and they reminded him of the guarantee! The poor fellow needed the driving licence to get a sales job which he craved for and thus, he had to shove the Messiah behind and pay for the ‘guaranteed pass’. This time round he had to pay double and the officer in charge told him, “Hata kama wewe ni Patrick Njiru usipolipa hapa utafeli!”
It was a great piece of advice which I suppose this lover of the saviour understood well and has kept in his religious heart to date. After the ‘guaranteed pass’, I never drove anybody’s car but just like the large stone in the river bed, I kept amassing experience and renewing my licence religiously just like the born-again salesman. Since I was not driving, I of course caused no accident at all thus my driving licence was as clean as a whistle. I was just waiting for an advert which says an organisation requires a fellow with 10 years driving experience and a clean driving licence.
I would of course land the job and then puzzle out how to drive. A few weeks ago my brand-new second hand came into the picture and I forked out my rather new driver’s licence and got behind the wheels. That is when reality dawned on me about the guaranteed pass that I had purchased! I just couldn’t balance the car on the road and I have now become the terror of the neighbourhood. All children melt away behind trees and large walls whenever I get into the car!
They somehow know instinctively that I am a very experienced driver who went through a guaranteed pass school. The first day I blundered into my own house through the front door when I wanted to reverse! I realised the mistake immediately and tried to brake but I stepped on the gas and frightened my wife into a scream. I got out of the house in a huff and blamed Japanese technology, when I got to the road I saw my wife crossing herself on the side view mirror; she crossed herself in the catholic manner even though she is a multiple born- again Christian who goes to church everyday of the week! That scared me big-time.
When I got to the main road, I wanted to indicate the direction I was turning to but I only succeeded in putting on the headlights in broad daylight. That bothered me and as I was trying to fiddle with the stem in order to switch them off, I managed to switch on the wipers. They startled me and I momentarily lost control and stepped on the gas and brakes at the same time stopping short of pasting a mkokoteni and it’s pusher upon a perimeter wall some 20 feet away from the road!
It was getting hectic and I was sweating like a horse. It dawned on me that driving must be the hardest job on earth after begging! I left in a huff and joined the road again with my head lamps on and the wiper dancing on the windshield like a mad robot on a hot sunny afternoon. I wanted to put on the hazard lights but I just couldn’t figure out where to press! Humiliating manner It is in this humiliating manner that I reached my destination some five kilometres to the north coast. I double parked the car for fear of scratching the others.
One askari did not like it so he told me to move the car and give space to other drivers wishing to park. I calmly gave him the keys and he did it for me. It was shameful. I put the car keys in my pocket because I think it is shameful to dangle keys in your hand or put them upon a table when you are in company. It looks like an advertisement of success; a pettiness of thought a silly method of seducing the opposite sex! When the meeting was over and I had forgotten all about my afternoon misery, I said goodbye to the organisers and promptly jumped into a taxi.
Just when we had covered two kilometres, the conductor asked for the fare and what do I find in my pocket… the car keys! It dawned on me that I had forgotten my car at the hotel parking! It was getting dark! How I drove back home is a story I do not wish to share. All I can say dear reader is that there is a brand-new second-hand car for sale and any interested party should contact me asap! Guaranteed pass may kill me
Financial Leadership skills
The level of financial expertise needed in an organization or by an individual is related to the volume and complexity of ongoing financial activities. Effectively managing a business is typically more complicated than controlling a personal checking account. However, whether you are an individual trying to maintain personal finances or a CEO leading a multi-company conglomerate, the financial activities fall into one of three areas.
Account
The initial category of financial activity is to account for all the detailed transactions through an organized system through a process that includes some type of internal controls. Individuals are using on-line banking connected to personal financial software to record all their financial transactions. Many small businesses are utilizing accounting software, such as QuickBooks, to maintain all their accounting activities including the revenue, receivables, expenses, and payables. Current technology allows accounting transactions to be recorded in a financial system the same time the transaction occurs.
Report
A reporting process utilizes all accounted-for transactions to create financial and other reports showing activity summaries. Financial summaries can serve various purposes such as reporting profit and loss, filing tax returns with KRA, or presenting a company’s financial picture to its stakeholders. In today’s environment, organizational reporting processes extend far beyond the age-tested management financial report. Companies are being managed and led using advanced measurement tools such as Balanced Scorecard and the 360 degrees review.
Decide
The ultimate purpose for the accounting and reporting activities is to have reliable, relevant and timely information to base decisions. Reported information provides leaders in the C-suite a basis for making various decisions from dealing with daily activities all the way through their strategic plan implementations.
The three areas of financial leadership are very obvious and simple. However, until you clearly understand the activity magnitude within these three areas you will not be able to align the people and processes under each area to lead your company to greater success. Executive level leaders who comprehend the three areas of financial leadership are leading their company to higher levels.
Account
The initial category of financial activity is to account for all the detailed transactions through an organized system through a process that includes some type of internal controls. Individuals are using on-line banking connected to personal financial software to record all their financial transactions. Many small businesses are utilizing accounting software, such as QuickBooks, to maintain all their accounting activities including the revenue, receivables, expenses, and payables. Current technology allows accounting transactions to be recorded in a financial system the same time the transaction occurs.
Report
A reporting process utilizes all accounted-for transactions to create financial and other reports showing activity summaries. Financial summaries can serve various purposes such as reporting profit and loss, filing tax returns with KRA, or presenting a company’s financial picture to its stakeholders. In today’s environment, organizational reporting processes extend far beyond the age-tested management financial report. Companies are being managed and led using advanced measurement tools such as Balanced Scorecard and the 360 degrees review.
Decide
The ultimate purpose for the accounting and reporting activities is to have reliable, relevant and timely information to base decisions. Reported information provides leaders in the C-suite a basis for making various decisions from dealing with daily activities all the way through their strategic plan implementations.
The three areas of financial leadership are very obvious and simple. However, until you clearly understand the activity magnitude within these three areas you will not be able to align the people and processes under each area to lead your company to greater success. Executive level leaders who comprehend the three areas of financial leadership are leading their company to higher levels.
Saturday 12 July 2014
Self-Control will get you there
The ability to manage our emotions and exert self-control is considered one of the cornerstones of emotional intelligence and a key predictor of personal and professional success. Yet, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that most of us are not that great at behavioral self-control.
Plans such as saving for retirement, losing weight or studying for exams often fail due to our inability to delay gratification when a new “toy,” a delicious cupcake or a night out with friends are also options on the table. We’re often quite aware that taking a long-term view would far better serve our interests and eventually provide the bigger rewards.
But what if we’re more likely to devour that fatty snack at first sight and react more impulsively in general? Are we doomed to a life of mediocrity and low achievement? Not necessarily, according to me, People with low impulse-control don’t lack general intelligence, nor is delaying gratification always the right choice, particularly in situations of uncertainty, in fact, it's worth noting further that impulsiveness gave us great explorers and entrepreneurs such as Steve Jobs.
Nonetheless, knowing how to manage our impulses and developing greater self-control in the pursuit of better results will pay dividends at the end.
Here are some tips that can help impulsive individuals better manage themselves and their resources:
Surround yourself with people who have high self-control.
Research shows that low-impulse control individuals have a tendency to seek out and surround themselves with others who have markedly more self-control, ostensibly to make up for their lack of skill in resisting temptation. Teaming up with someone more disciplined can be an effective strategy when you’re working toward important goals, as the last thing you want in a partner is a fellow pushover who will fold right along with you when temptation winks at you.
Distance yourself -- from yourself.
Temptation doesn’t just come in the form of a sugar-coated candy. Hanging back at business meetings to avoid scrutiny is often more tempting than subjecting your ideas for everyone’s critical analysis. Similarly, walking up and introducing yourself to a potential investor at a networking conference can be the social equivalent of a root canal in progress. For those with low self-control, the impulse is often to avoid and retreat.
Gaining a little distance from ourselves can alleviate the temptation to keep quiet when a good idea or public statement is needed.
Harness the “Fresh Start Effect.”
Refreshing your willpower at start of a new project or new positive behaviors may be as simple as using a personally significant temporal landmark, -- such as the beginning of a week, month or year, a birthday, a vacation or semester -- to kick things off. And while we’ve all made New Year’s resolutions that didn’t survive the first Wednesday, the idea of a fresh start has merit.
Of course, sticking with it is another story. To increase your chances for success in any endeavor that requires sustained effort and impulse control, make your goals as crystal-clear as possible to understand what’s at stake.
Recruit colleagues, friends or a coach who will hold you accountable, offer perspective and provide honest feedback on your progress. It also helps to visualize a successful outcome to stay motivated when the going gets tough.
The good news is that the more we stretch beyond our comfort zone and make an effort to try something new and different, the more we actually strengthen our cognitive ability to control our impulses and make better choices. From seemingly insignificant behaviors such as brushing our teeth with the opposite hand to more substantial efforts such as learning an instrument, any activity that requires us to take control of our behavior rather than coast on “autopilot” will benefit us in the pursuit of bigger, life-changing goals.
Otherwise, there’s always New Year’s Eve.
Plans such as saving for retirement, losing weight or studying for exams often fail due to our inability to delay gratification when a new “toy,” a delicious cupcake or a night out with friends are also options on the table. We’re often quite aware that taking a long-term view would far better serve our interests and eventually provide the bigger rewards.
But what if we’re more likely to devour that fatty snack at first sight and react more impulsively in general? Are we doomed to a life of mediocrity and low achievement? Not necessarily, according to me, People with low impulse-control don’t lack general intelligence, nor is delaying gratification always the right choice, particularly in situations of uncertainty, in fact, it's worth noting further that impulsiveness gave us great explorers and entrepreneurs such as Steve Jobs.
Nonetheless, knowing how to manage our impulses and developing greater self-control in the pursuit of better results will pay dividends at the end.
Here are some tips that can help impulsive individuals better manage themselves and their resources:
Surround yourself with people who have high self-control.
Research shows that low-impulse control individuals have a tendency to seek out and surround themselves with others who have markedly more self-control, ostensibly to make up for their lack of skill in resisting temptation. Teaming up with someone more disciplined can be an effective strategy when you’re working toward important goals, as the last thing you want in a partner is a fellow pushover who will fold right along with you when temptation winks at you.
Distance yourself -- from yourself.
Temptation doesn’t just come in the form of a sugar-coated candy. Hanging back at business meetings to avoid scrutiny is often more tempting than subjecting your ideas for everyone’s critical analysis. Similarly, walking up and introducing yourself to a potential investor at a networking conference can be the social equivalent of a root canal in progress. For those with low self-control, the impulse is often to avoid and retreat.
Gaining a little distance from ourselves can alleviate the temptation to keep quiet when a good idea or public statement is needed.
Harness the “Fresh Start Effect.”
Refreshing your willpower at start of a new project or new positive behaviors may be as simple as using a personally significant temporal landmark, -- such as the beginning of a week, month or year, a birthday, a vacation or semester -- to kick things off. And while we’ve all made New Year’s resolutions that didn’t survive the first Wednesday, the idea of a fresh start has merit.
Of course, sticking with it is another story. To increase your chances for success in any endeavor that requires sustained effort and impulse control, make your goals as crystal-clear as possible to understand what’s at stake.
Recruit colleagues, friends or a coach who will hold you accountable, offer perspective and provide honest feedback on your progress. It also helps to visualize a successful outcome to stay motivated when the going gets tough.
The good news is that the more we stretch beyond our comfort zone and make an effort to try something new and different, the more we actually strengthen our cognitive ability to control our impulses and make better choices. From seemingly insignificant behaviors such as brushing our teeth with the opposite hand to more substantial efforts such as learning an instrument, any activity that requires us to take control of our behavior rather than coast on “autopilot” will benefit us in the pursuit of bigger, life-changing goals.
Otherwise, there’s always New Year’s Eve.
Friday 11 July 2014
How to complain effectively
Have you seen the challenge on FB or Instagram? "Go one whole day without complaining and watch how your life will be so different!"
It's widely accepted wisdom, and even proven science that complaining is not good for us. Listening to someone complain makes us less intelligent, it damages our mental health, and according to the most recent FB experiment, makes the people we complain to more negative as well.
However, complaints also make things happen. Complaints are the only way for a company to know that its practices are making their customers unhappy. Complaints drive the creation of laws. And without complaints, we wouldn't have most of our public services. Humans, in general, respond well to complaints. And those groups and individuals who are unable to complain or their complaints are ignored, are those that have the least access to what they need or want.
So complaints, in and of themselves, aren't the problem. So what's the problem?
The problem comes with when and how we complain.
There is effective complaining and toxic complaining. The kind of complaining we need to cut out of our lives is the toxic complaining. The kind of complaining we need more of, is effective complaining, or better stated, "an Assertive Problem Response."
When we have a problem, we need to say something, as problems usually do not go away on their own. How do we address the problem in a way that is effective?
First, what not to do.
Toxic Complaining
Complaining regularly about things that can't be changed - This is toxic, because over time, it wears on people. They stop listening or taking the complaints seriously.
Complaining about things that most people experience everyday - Complaining about the weather, traffic, annoying people, we all experience these things. Making mention once in a while to commiserate is bonding. But actively and regularly complaining about it to others who experience the same struggles has two potential effects - either they agree and in turn start complaining and the conversation turns negative. Or they feel frustrated, because the complaints make it sound like our situation of traffic is so much worse than everyone else's, which it's not. When we complain about things other people experience, the question becomes, why is your experience with this thing any worse than any one else? The answer is always - because you have less tolerance for it, not because it's worse than what others experience. And people don't like to be around intolerant people for very long. It's wearing.
Complaining without a solution - The world is both a fabulous and terrible place. If all we talk about are the negatives without offering up solutions, people learn that the complainer sees things through dark colored glasses, and to avoid them. People like to be around others who have solutions, not more rocks to put in their emotional backpack of how terrible the world is.
Complaining without humor - We all have struggles. If we can't find humor somewhere, especially in the day to day trials and tribulations, we teach others that we are dreary and a downer.
Complaining without balancing it with positive observations and hope - Complaining is important to get things done sometimes. So is hope. If hope that there will be change isn't there, and it's just hopeless complaining over and over, it gets very tiresome. At first, people will be on board, but over time, they get weary, realize there is no horizon in sight, and jump ship. But before that happens, a lot of people find other things to complain about - namely our complaining.
That all said, how can complaining be effective?
Assertive Problem Responses
Bring up problems to the right people at the right time. - Know who and when to complain to, that will be the most effective. Shouting on the street corner that you don't like a law may work, but calling a representative, and asking others to do the same, will be better. Complaining to co-workers at the water cooler will probably not change much, except your reputation. But bringing something up with a supervisor or HR might make a difference. And certainly, complaining about politicians or our least favorite family member at Thanksgiving dinner isn't doing to do anything but cause an angry conversation or bitterness.
Describe the problem then give a solution. - When giving a speech or writing a book, authors explain what's wrong (a variation of complaining) then the rest of the time, explain the solution. They aren't selling the problem, they are selling the solution. Politicians do this when they appeal to their constituents. They get their base riled up about the problem, then, point to the solution. Whether we like their solution determines whether we vote for them.
Complain sparingly. - When we complain sparingly, people will really listen when we do. It has a lot more impact. The more often we complain, the less people listen.
Complain with purpose. - When we do choose to complain, know exactly why we are doing it - to get something off our chest that's been bothering us (that's usually the case), to solve a problem, or to change something? The reason why we complain determines the best time and place to do so.
Apologize if we complain a lot in a moment of weakness. - Sometimes, we're in a mood and we let loose a lot of complaints on someone. In other words, we "unload" on them. Since we don't complain often, and we know how much of a burden complaining to others is, apologizing goes a long way to help soften the negative impact it has on others. But make sure, if we apologize, that we follow up by not doing it again very soon.
Vent emotionally in private. Bring problems up publicly for a purpose. - The biggest gaffs of complaints are when people complain in public about something without thinking about it. If we need to vent, as we sometimes do, keep it in private, and again, sparingly. And if we bring up issues in public, that it's well thought out and on purpose, for a long term goal. An example might be at a board meeting, where we bring up issues to appeal to the group to find a solution. Complaining at a board meeting to vent our feelings wastes other people's time and creates a negative working environment on the team. Also, even though people rarely say it, people who complain in public often gain a reputation and lose respect.
Going a whole day without complaining is a noble effort, but in the end, probably not the best of goals, because we can easily cut out the important skills of assertiveness in our attempt to not be too negative. Going a whole day, a whole year even, without toxic complaining, now that's something to strive for. We can be an assertive problem responder, and make a difference without bringing more negativity into the world.
It's widely accepted wisdom, and even proven science that complaining is not good for us. Listening to someone complain makes us less intelligent, it damages our mental health, and according to the most recent FB experiment, makes the people we complain to more negative as well.
However, complaints also make things happen. Complaints are the only way for a company to know that its practices are making their customers unhappy. Complaints drive the creation of laws. And without complaints, we wouldn't have most of our public services. Humans, in general, respond well to complaints. And those groups and individuals who are unable to complain or their complaints are ignored, are those that have the least access to what they need or want.
So complaints, in and of themselves, aren't the problem. So what's the problem?
The problem comes with when and how we complain.
There is effective complaining and toxic complaining. The kind of complaining we need to cut out of our lives is the toxic complaining. The kind of complaining we need more of, is effective complaining, or better stated, "an Assertive Problem Response."
When we have a problem, we need to say something, as problems usually do not go away on their own. How do we address the problem in a way that is effective?
First, what not to do.
Toxic Complaining
Complaining regularly about things that can't be changed - This is toxic, because over time, it wears on people. They stop listening or taking the complaints seriously.
Complaining about things that most people experience everyday - Complaining about the weather, traffic, annoying people, we all experience these things. Making mention once in a while to commiserate is bonding. But actively and regularly complaining about it to others who experience the same struggles has two potential effects - either they agree and in turn start complaining and the conversation turns negative. Or they feel frustrated, because the complaints make it sound like our situation of traffic is so much worse than everyone else's, which it's not. When we complain about things other people experience, the question becomes, why is your experience with this thing any worse than any one else? The answer is always - because you have less tolerance for it, not because it's worse than what others experience. And people don't like to be around intolerant people for very long. It's wearing.
Complaining without a solution - The world is both a fabulous and terrible place. If all we talk about are the negatives without offering up solutions, people learn that the complainer sees things through dark colored glasses, and to avoid them. People like to be around others who have solutions, not more rocks to put in their emotional backpack of how terrible the world is.
Complaining without humor - We all have struggles. If we can't find humor somewhere, especially in the day to day trials and tribulations, we teach others that we are dreary and a downer.
Complaining without balancing it with positive observations and hope - Complaining is important to get things done sometimes. So is hope. If hope that there will be change isn't there, and it's just hopeless complaining over and over, it gets very tiresome. At first, people will be on board, but over time, they get weary, realize there is no horizon in sight, and jump ship. But before that happens, a lot of people find other things to complain about - namely our complaining.
That all said, how can complaining be effective?
Assertive Problem Responses
Bring up problems to the right people at the right time. - Know who and when to complain to, that will be the most effective. Shouting on the street corner that you don't like a law may work, but calling a representative, and asking others to do the same, will be better. Complaining to co-workers at the water cooler will probably not change much, except your reputation. But bringing something up with a supervisor or HR might make a difference. And certainly, complaining about politicians or our least favorite family member at Thanksgiving dinner isn't doing to do anything but cause an angry conversation or bitterness.
Describe the problem then give a solution. - When giving a speech or writing a book, authors explain what's wrong (a variation of complaining) then the rest of the time, explain the solution. They aren't selling the problem, they are selling the solution. Politicians do this when they appeal to their constituents. They get their base riled up about the problem, then, point to the solution. Whether we like their solution determines whether we vote for them.
Complain sparingly. - When we complain sparingly, people will really listen when we do. It has a lot more impact. The more often we complain, the less people listen.
Complain with purpose. - When we do choose to complain, know exactly why we are doing it - to get something off our chest that's been bothering us (that's usually the case), to solve a problem, or to change something? The reason why we complain determines the best time and place to do so.
Apologize if we complain a lot in a moment of weakness. - Sometimes, we're in a mood and we let loose a lot of complaints on someone. In other words, we "unload" on them. Since we don't complain often, and we know how much of a burden complaining to others is, apologizing goes a long way to help soften the negative impact it has on others. But make sure, if we apologize, that we follow up by not doing it again very soon.
Vent emotionally in private. Bring problems up publicly for a purpose. - The biggest gaffs of complaints are when people complain in public about something without thinking about it. If we need to vent, as we sometimes do, keep it in private, and again, sparingly. And if we bring up issues in public, that it's well thought out and on purpose, for a long term goal. An example might be at a board meeting, where we bring up issues to appeal to the group to find a solution. Complaining at a board meeting to vent our feelings wastes other people's time and creates a negative working environment on the team. Also, even though people rarely say it, people who complain in public often gain a reputation and lose respect.
Going a whole day without complaining is a noble effort, but in the end, probably not the best of goals, because we can easily cut out the important skills of assertiveness in our attempt to not be too negative. Going a whole day, a whole year even, without toxic complaining, now that's something to strive for. We can be an assertive problem responder, and make a difference without bringing more negativity into the world.
Thursday 10 July 2014
My last failed salary negotiations
"You were such a pushover, a crazy easy goer when you were negotiating your compensation. You could have got more money, but you never asked for it."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
A year prior I received a job offer to join a company that I was referred in by a senior member of the organization. I had several interviews with the company and they offered me a nice salary bump from my previous job. I was happy with the offer. Here is what I told the MD after getting my offer:
“Well, I really enjoy this company and since I came here through a referral I really want to respect the offer. I'll take it. When do I start?".
No fuss or back and forth negotiations or counter offers. It was a very simple and quick transaction. I made sure it was as simple as possible so I didn't ruffle any feathers before I joined the company. Seems like something a loyal and respectful employee should do right?
Wrong.
I stared at the MD and I didn't know what to say to him. We got to know each other really well since I joined the organization and I really respected what he had to say.
I replied back to him with the only thing I Could think of at the time: "Come on. You're kidding. Right?"
He wasn't kidding. He shared another story with me.
“You know Alicia* from Marketing? She was promoted as the interim Director of Marketing. She didn't even get a pay raise. What do you think that says about her ability to be the Director of Marketing? She could have received a 70-80k pay raise if she just negotiated properly."
I wasn't even mad. I was learning. I needed to hear these types of conversations.
Here is what you can learn from these conversations:
Failure to negotiate pay is a sign that the candidate doesn't know their self worth.
Even if the first offer was more than you expected or wanted, you should always counter offer. This was by far the hardest for me to swallow. I thought I was doing a good thing by NOT negotiating. I wanted to show myself as a hard worker who valued work more than money. Damn if i understood the implication on my personal worth!
What ended up happening is I showed myself as someone who didn't know what I was worth and I took the first offer that came to me.
Failure to negotiate leaves a lot of money on the table
No explanation needed for this. I could have had more money simply by asking for money.
It is not the company's responsibility to give you the maximum salary.
I know this is going to be a little controversial, so let me explain.
If you are selling a house, are you going to tell the buyer what the lowest you will sell the house for? Absolutely not. You are going to do everything in your power to sell the house for as MUCH as you can.
Also, the value of the house can be worth more depending on the buyer's needs.
If your house is walking distance from a school then your house is worth more to parents with young children than it is to an elderly couple. It is up to the buyer to get the house for the least money as possible, and the seller to sell it for as much as possible. It's your classic Venn Diagram. Once you find the middle point a deal can be made.
So if you feel like you've been screwed over by salary negotiation, it's not the company's fault. It's your fault. They hired you when you needed the money and you didn't counter offer with anything substantial.
Can a company rescind an offer if you negotiate your pay?
The answer is a company can do whatever they want to. They can rescind the offer even if you didn't negotiate your pay. I've seen it all.
Is it likely to happen? In my experience, I have not seen a company pull back an offer for a candidate that they WANT to join the company. The worst I have seen the company say is "No, this offer is not negotiable".
If you're desperate for money or a career and are afraid to negotiate then my suggestion to you is to just take the offer and join the company. Don't risk anything even though I believe the risk is extremely low.
The easiest time to negotiate your salary is... Before you join the company. This is when you have the most power. Once you're part of the company negotiating your salary becomes a very hard task. A task that I haven't been able to do successfully.
When I joined I actually told the MD that we should revisit my compensation 6 months after I joined. 6 months later we had the conversation. The result was, you guessed it, no change in compensation.
Shouldn't I be mad at the MD who told me I was a negotiating sissy?
No way. He taught me a valuable business lesson: Don't be afraid to get what you're worth.
Not only will you make more money, but you will get a lot more respect. If he didn't tell me anything, I would have made the same mistake again.
So, Thank You MR. MD.Now i know better!
I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
A year prior I received a job offer to join a company that I was referred in by a senior member of the organization. I had several interviews with the company and they offered me a nice salary bump from my previous job. I was happy with the offer. Here is what I told the MD after getting my offer:
“Well, I really enjoy this company and since I came here through a referral I really want to respect the offer. I'll take it. When do I start?".
No fuss or back and forth negotiations or counter offers. It was a very simple and quick transaction. I made sure it was as simple as possible so I didn't ruffle any feathers before I joined the company. Seems like something a loyal and respectful employee should do right?
Wrong.
I stared at the MD and I didn't know what to say to him. We got to know each other really well since I joined the organization and I really respected what he had to say.
I replied back to him with the only thing I Could think of at the time: "Come on. You're kidding. Right?"
He wasn't kidding. He shared another story with me.
“You know Alicia* from Marketing? She was promoted as the interim Director of Marketing. She didn't even get a pay raise. What do you think that says about her ability to be the Director of Marketing? She could have received a 70-80k pay raise if she just negotiated properly."
I wasn't even mad. I was learning. I needed to hear these types of conversations.
Here is what you can learn from these conversations:
Failure to negotiate pay is a sign that the candidate doesn't know their self worth.
Even if the first offer was more than you expected or wanted, you should always counter offer. This was by far the hardest for me to swallow. I thought I was doing a good thing by NOT negotiating. I wanted to show myself as a hard worker who valued work more than money. Damn if i understood the implication on my personal worth!
What ended up happening is I showed myself as someone who didn't know what I was worth and I took the first offer that came to me.
Failure to negotiate leaves a lot of money on the table
No explanation needed for this. I could have had more money simply by asking for money.
It is not the company's responsibility to give you the maximum salary.
I know this is going to be a little controversial, so let me explain.
If you are selling a house, are you going to tell the buyer what the lowest you will sell the house for? Absolutely not. You are going to do everything in your power to sell the house for as MUCH as you can.
Also, the value of the house can be worth more depending on the buyer's needs.
If your house is walking distance from a school then your house is worth more to parents with young children than it is to an elderly couple. It is up to the buyer to get the house for the least money as possible, and the seller to sell it for as much as possible. It's your classic Venn Diagram. Once you find the middle point a deal can be made.
So if you feel like you've been screwed over by salary negotiation, it's not the company's fault. It's your fault. They hired you when you needed the money and you didn't counter offer with anything substantial.
Can a company rescind an offer if you negotiate your pay?
The answer is a company can do whatever they want to. They can rescind the offer even if you didn't negotiate your pay. I've seen it all.
Is it likely to happen? In my experience, I have not seen a company pull back an offer for a candidate that they WANT to join the company. The worst I have seen the company say is "No, this offer is not negotiable".
If you're desperate for money or a career and are afraid to negotiate then my suggestion to you is to just take the offer and join the company. Don't risk anything even though I believe the risk is extremely low.
The easiest time to negotiate your salary is... Before you join the company. This is when you have the most power. Once you're part of the company negotiating your salary becomes a very hard task. A task that I haven't been able to do successfully.
When I joined I actually told the MD that we should revisit my compensation 6 months after I joined. 6 months later we had the conversation. The result was, you guessed it, no change in compensation.
Shouldn't I be mad at the MD who told me I was a negotiating sissy?
No way. He taught me a valuable business lesson: Don't be afraid to get what you're worth.
Not only will you make more money, but you will get a lot more respect. If he didn't tell me anything, I would have made the same mistake again.
So, Thank You MR. MD.Now i know better!
Take responsibility when you screw up
How would you rate your ability to accept accountability when things go wrong?
Your apology is your humanity litmus test. It is unavoidable that at some point, your business will suffer a failure that disappoints customers. How your company reacts, explains, removes the pain, and takes accountability for actions signals how you think about customers, and the collective heart of your organization.
Grace and wisdom guide decisions of beloved companies toward accepting responsibility and resolving the situation when the chips are down—not accusations and skirting accountability. Repairing the emotional connection well is a hallmark of beloved companies. It makes us love them even more.
When a beloved company apologizes for something that goes wrong, the intent and motivation is to make customers whole—to earn the right to continue the relationship. However, repairing the emotional connection with customers in distress can be costly.
Often the easy-to-execute apology is extended, but the intent is to only “get past the incident.” Beloved companies don’t consider the job done until the emotional connection with customers is restored.
They turn “recovery” into an opportunity that says to customers, “Who else would respond this way?”
Your apology is your humanity litmus test. It is unavoidable that at some point, your business will suffer a failure that disappoints customers. How your company reacts, explains, removes the pain, and takes accountability for actions signals how you think about customers, and the collective heart of your organization.
Grace and wisdom guide decisions of beloved companies toward accepting responsibility and resolving the situation when the chips are down—not accusations and skirting accountability. Repairing the emotional connection well is a hallmark of beloved companies. It makes us love them even more.
When a beloved company apologizes for something that goes wrong, the intent and motivation is to make customers whole—to earn the right to continue the relationship. However, repairing the emotional connection with customers in distress can be costly.
Often the easy-to-execute apology is extended, but the intent is to only “get past the incident.” Beloved companies don’t consider the job done until the emotional connection with customers is restored.
They turn “recovery” into an opportunity that says to customers, “Who else would respond this way?”
Wednesday 9 July 2014
Customer Experience Begins Way Before The Sale
During many conversations while auditing Customer Experience I find that many people think I am talking about Customer Service. You know, something that happens after the sale. Providing excellent customer service at every interaction is a big part of Customer Experience, but it is not the end all for delivering a superior customer experience.
Wikipedia defines Customer Experience as “the sum of all experiences a customer has with a supplier of goods and/or services, over the duration of their relationship with that supplier. This can include awareness, discovery, attraction, interaction, purchase, use, cultivation and advocacy. It can also be used to mean an individual experience over one transaction.” There may be other definitions out there, but this one suffices for this post.
Customer Experience starts before the sale. For example: When you want to purchase a product or service how easy is it for you research that product or service? Does it show up as a hit in your favorite search engine? Did you find any consumer reviews? When you are visiting the website, can you find the information you want to know? Was it easy or difficult? How appealing was the presentation to your eyes and intellect? When you clicked the link for “chat” or “contact by email” did you receive a prompt response? When you received the response did it meet your needs and was it a pleasant experience? Instead of the web you may prefer to use the telephone or maybe even just walk into the store and ask questions. Regardless of your technology of choice, if your experience becomes difficult, slow or unappealing, there is a high probability you will go somewhere else to make your purchase and you will probably never go back again.
Remember the old adage, “You don’t get a second chance to make a first impression”? This is one of those tried and true statements that we all remind ourselves of when we prepare for a job interview, we meet a new customer or family member, or even when get ready for a first date!
Now that consumers are using multiple technologies to research, shop and compare, it is crucial that businesses selling products and services provide a pre-sales experience which is welcoming, infuses confidence, is well thought out and values the customer, their time and their preferences. And they must execute it consistently on the web, the phone and in the store front, or the current sale is lost and future sales are at high risk. The difference must be designed and be purposeful.
Today, I had an encounter in the healthcare industry which served as good examples for compare and contrast purposes, and also to demonstrate how customer experience begins before the sale.
My regular doctor referred me to a specialist. I gave his recommendation heavy weight as he is a healthcare professional who knows his stuff. I knew that his referral would be on the other side of town, a little far, but I was willing to make the appointment. I would much rather have the appointment close to home as my whole life is in a 6-mile radius of town and I just don’t want to deal with the hassles of heavy traffic…. But so be it.
I called the phone number my doctor gave me and was picked up by the phone tree (answering machine) I didn’t mind the first 5 minutes. But by 15 minutes I felt like I was a captive and I was ready to hang up if I heard one more pleasant recording apologizing for the wait and that someone would be with me soon.
While I was holding I decided this place is too busy for me. If I can’t get through on the phone, what will happen when I am in the waiting room? What kind of quality, attention and focus will I receive from the specialist and his staff? Will my bill be accurate? At 20 minutes I hung up and decided to go online and find someone local. DONE! No sale for you, doctor, and I won’t call again!
Consequence; my old doctor loses and the new doctor wins! The new doctor wins again because customers who are referred by promoters, like me, also become good customers who buy more products and services and become promoters themselves.
Is your business positioned for successful pre-sale? Is your business staffed appropriately on email, phone and store front? Have you been purposeful in the design of the experience your customers will receive when they are looking for you and your services?
If the answer is “no” to anyone of these, you are losing sales that you didn’t even know about. And people who have decided against your products and services are talking about you and driving more business away from you.
Take a moment today to identify the places in the pre-sale process you can tighten up. Are there any quick wins you can execute on? Anything with big impact and low cost should be tackled now. Make a list of the other items, prioritize them and put them on the short list of projects which need to be done in the next 2 quarters.
You will be thankful in the long run!!
Wikipedia defines Customer Experience as “the sum of all experiences a customer has with a supplier of goods and/or services, over the duration of their relationship with that supplier. This can include awareness, discovery, attraction, interaction, purchase, use, cultivation and advocacy. It can also be used to mean an individual experience over one transaction.” There may be other definitions out there, but this one suffices for this post.
Customer Experience starts before the sale. For example: When you want to purchase a product or service how easy is it for you research that product or service? Does it show up as a hit in your favorite search engine? Did you find any consumer reviews? When you are visiting the website, can you find the information you want to know? Was it easy or difficult? How appealing was the presentation to your eyes and intellect? When you clicked the link for “chat” or “contact by email” did you receive a prompt response? When you received the response did it meet your needs and was it a pleasant experience? Instead of the web you may prefer to use the telephone or maybe even just walk into the store and ask questions. Regardless of your technology of choice, if your experience becomes difficult, slow or unappealing, there is a high probability you will go somewhere else to make your purchase and you will probably never go back again.
Remember the old adage, “You don’t get a second chance to make a first impression”? This is one of those tried and true statements that we all remind ourselves of when we prepare for a job interview, we meet a new customer or family member, or even when get ready for a first date!
Now that consumers are using multiple technologies to research, shop and compare, it is crucial that businesses selling products and services provide a pre-sales experience which is welcoming, infuses confidence, is well thought out and values the customer, their time and their preferences. And they must execute it consistently on the web, the phone and in the store front, or the current sale is lost and future sales are at high risk. The difference must be designed and be purposeful.
Today, I had an encounter in the healthcare industry which served as good examples for compare and contrast purposes, and also to demonstrate how customer experience begins before the sale.
My regular doctor referred me to a specialist. I gave his recommendation heavy weight as he is a healthcare professional who knows his stuff. I knew that his referral would be on the other side of town, a little far, but I was willing to make the appointment. I would much rather have the appointment close to home as my whole life is in a 6-mile radius of town and I just don’t want to deal with the hassles of heavy traffic…. But so be it.
I called the phone number my doctor gave me and was picked up by the phone tree (answering machine) I didn’t mind the first 5 minutes. But by 15 minutes I felt like I was a captive and I was ready to hang up if I heard one more pleasant recording apologizing for the wait and that someone would be with me soon.
While I was holding I decided this place is too busy for me. If I can’t get through on the phone, what will happen when I am in the waiting room? What kind of quality, attention and focus will I receive from the specialist and his staff? Will my bill be accurate? At 20 minutes I hung up and decided to go online and find someone local. DONE! No sale for you, doctor, and I won’t call again!
Consequence; my old doctor loses and the new doctor wins! The new doctor wins again because customers who are referred by promoters, like me, also become good customers who buy more products and services and become promoters themselves.
Is your business positioned for successful pre-sale? Is your business staffed appropriately on email, phone and store front? Have you been purposeful in the design of the experience your customers will receive when they are looking for you and your services?
If the answer is “no” to anyone of these, you are losing sales that you didn’t even know about. And people who have decided against your products and services are talking about you and driving more business away from you.
Take a moment today to identify the places in the pre-sale process you can tighten up. Are there any quick wins you can execute on? Anything with big impact and low cost should be tackled now. Make a list of the other items, prioritize them and put them on the short list of projects which need to be done in the next 2 quarters.
You will be thankful in the long run!!
Lessons for start ups from Germany Triumph over Brazil at the world cup
The day was June 29, 1998, the place was Lyon, France, and I was just an 16 year old boy watching Germany playing Croatia in the World Cup. It was the first year I showed interest in football, and I instantly fell in love with the Mannschaft (the German football team).
To be honest, I was not a big fan of the skills the German players showed, nor of their techniques, but I was a huge fan of their fighting spirit, and of how they ran across the field from the first minute till the final whistle.
On that sad day, Germany lost 3-0 against Croatia in a very dramatic match. Nobody expected that, and I remember my uncle cursing loudly. 4 years later, Germany reached the finale against Brasil, and lost 2-0. Another 4 years after that, they reached the semi final and lost 2-0 against Italy. Another 4 years, and they lost 1-0 against Spain. And tonight, 16 years later, they crushed Brasil (the hosting country) 7-1 in the semi final (They reached the semi finals 4 times in the last 4 tournaments, a world record).
Plenty of lessons are there for us to learn from the German. I could only come up with 5 in such a short notice. 5 lessons for startups to learn from the Mannschaft.
1) Determination.
They never quit, they fight one battle after another, one match after another, and they never throw the towel. Startups go through roller coasters all the time, if they are not in it to win it, then they should not even bother book domains for their sites.
2) Learning from the competition.
In 1998, France won the world cup against Brasil through 2 headers by Zizou (Zinedine Zidane) an Algerian immigrant who joined the Gallic roosters at an early age. Zidane was not the only player in the French team who was a foreigner. France won through a team of immigrants that had the talent, the attitude, and what is most important, a healthy integration.
In 2002, Germany had a multicultural team that consisted of players who had Polish, Spanish, Italian, and African roots, among others
Having a banquet of multi-ethnic players was not the only thing Germany learnt from the competition. When tiki-taka proved itself as winning football technique, the German greatest football club, Bayern Munich hired one of the scholars of this modern technique, Barcelona's ex-manager Pep Guardiola. This move gave Joachim Löw (The Mannschaft's manager) a front seat view to learn all the tricks of tiki-taka. Joachim clearly used what he learned in this world cup so far, and it is paying off.
Startups should keep a close eye on the competition, local and global ones, and they should learn from them.
3) Flexibility.
"Release fast, release often, and iterate" these golden words describe the best approach toward releasing a new product in any startup. Changing the formulas, and business tactics is viable for any startup to survive. Don't stick to your original plan, if it does not work, you better be quick enough and alter your moves.
Joachim Löw changed the formation of his squad so many times before he picked the 23 players who are going with him to Brasil. He did not stop there, he changed the tactics, alter the players, and moved from one formation to another during this world cup till he found the perfect 11 man team.
These men won 7-1 against Brasil tonight.
4) Keeping all eyes on the goal.
If you get the chance to walk into the German football federation building, you will find a picture of the famous Maracana stadium in Rio De Janeiro, where the final match will take place next Sunday.
Everyone in the German football team, the players, the managers, even the physicians kept an eye on where they are going, what their goal is, and kept visualizing how they would get there, to that stadium, and nowhere else but it.
Startups should keep their goals, and KPIs written, and hung on the wall for every employee to see, and remember. There is no room for distractions where winners come from.
5) Seize all opportunities, score all goals, be limitless.
The Mannschaft scored 5 goals in the first half an hour of their game against Brasil, but they did not stop there. They scored another two in the second half, and would have scored more if the game stretched for more than 90 minutes. They did not say that's enough for us, this is our limit, this is more than we expected. They kept going.
Startups should be limitless, fearless, they must believe that they are good enough, strong enough, and that even the sky is not their limit. Startups must stand tall against a competing business, no matter how big that business is, and they should take a shot after another, till they remove that business from the top.
It was a long journey for the Mannschaft from 1998 till 2014, and I bet you money that they will keep on teaching us lessons till the end of football days.
To be honest, I was not a big fan of the skills the German players showed, nor of their techniques, but I was a huge fan of their fighting spirit, and of how they ran across the field from the first minute till the final whistle.
On that sad day, Germany lost 3-0 against Croatia in a very dramatic match. Nobody expected that, and I remember my uncle cursing loudly. 4 years later, Germany reached the finale against Brasil, and lost 2-0. Another 4 years after that, they reached the semi final and lost 2-0 against Italy. Another 4 years, and they lost 1-0 against Spain. And tonight, 16 years later, they crushed Brasil (the hosting country) 7-1 in the semi final (They reached the semi finals 4 times in the last 4 tournaments, a world record).
Plenty of lessons are there for us to learn from the German. I could only come up with 5 in such a short notice. 5 lessons for startups to learn from the Mannschaft.
1) Determination.
They never quit, they fight one battle after another, one match after another, and they never throw the towel. Startups go through roller coasters all the time, if they are not in it to win it, then they should not even bother book domains for their sites.
2) Learning from the competition.
In 1998, France won the world cup against Brasil through 2 headers by Zizou (Zinedine Zidane) an Algerian immigrant who joined the Gallic roosters at an early age. Zidane was not the only player in the French team who was a foreigner. France won through a team of immigrants that had the talent, the attitude, and what is most important, a healthy integration.
In 2002, Germany had a multicultural team that consisted of players who had Polish, Spanish, Italian, and African roots, among others
Having a banquet of multi-ethnic players was not the only thing Germany learnt from the competition. When tiki-taka proved itself as winning football technique, the German greatest football club, Bayern Munich hired one of the scholars of this modern technique, Barcelona's ex-manager Pep Guardiola. This move gave Joachim Löw (The Mannschaft's manager) a front seat view to learn all the tricks of tiki-taka. Joachim clearly used what he learned in this world cup so far, and it is paying off.
Startups should keep a close eye on the competition, local and global ones, and they should learn from them.
3) Flexibility.
"Release fast, release often, and iterate" these golden words describe the best approach toward releasing a new product in any startup. Changing the formulas, and business tactics is viable for any startup to survive. Don't stick to your original plan, if it does not work, you better be quick enough and alter your moves.
Joachim Löw changed the formation of his squad so many times before he picked the 23 players who are going with him to Brasil. He did not stop there, he changed the tactics, alter the players, and moved from one formation to another during this world cup till he found the perfect 11 man team.
These men won 7-1 against Brasil tonight.
4) Keeping all eyes on the goal.
If you get the chance to walk into the German football federation building, you will find a picture of the famous Maracana stadium in Rio De Janeiro, where the final match will take place next Sunday.
Everyone in the German football team, the players, the managers, even the physicians kept an eye on where they are going, what their goal is, and kept visualizing how they would get there, to that stadium, and nowhere else but it.
Startups should keep their goals, and KPIs written, and hung on the wall for every employee to see, and remember. There is no room for distractions where winners come from.
5) Seize all opportunities, score all goals, be limitless.
The Mannschaft scored 5 goals in the first half an hour of their game against Brasil, but they did not stop there. They scored another two in the second half, and would have scored more if the game stretched for more than 90 minutes. They did not say that's enough for us, this is our limit, this is more than we expected. They kept going.
Startups should be limitless, fearless, they must believe that they are good enough, strong enough, and that even the sky is not their limit. Startups must stand tall against a competing business, no matter how big that business is, and they should take a shot after another, till they remove that business from the top.
It was a long journey for the Mannschaft from 1998 till 2014, and I bet you money that they will keep on teaching us lessons till the end of football days.
Tuesday 8 July 2014
Adjusting to Parenting
Becoming a parent isn't going to be the easiest task in your lives, dear parents. Going down this road will be as challenging as any other major change in your life. Unfortunately, you will have to change many things that were once a huge part of your life - now you have other priorities, your child and your family.
Career
If you were planning to be a careerist, I am sorry to break it down to you, but you will probably have to forget about this one. Of course, if you can organize your time well, if you are a workaholic and especially if you can work from home, then you can somehow succeed in improving your career, but most parent are not that lucky. They have to work hard to provide for their families and still be present and work on raising their children.
Hobbies
Demanding hobbies that you used to fill your time and something that will relax you are no longer your priority once you become a parent. No one says that you should quit doing what you like, but when your children are still really young, it will be hard to cope with all obligations and still .
Pets
No matter how much you love your pets, they will come second to your child once you become a parent. Don't let this burden you, since there are many tips on how to successfully manage taking care of your baby while having a pet in your home. In addition, if you are lucky enough to live in a house and have a yard, you can choose to keep your pet(s) outside - this is not a bad and selfish solution, and don’t feel guilty. As long as you are a responsible parent towards both your pet and child, you are doing the right thing.
Socializing
You will have to cut going out a little bit, prepare yourself for spending more time at home. This might cause other problems such as depression and boredom, but if you find a way to make parenting a fun and creative process, you can still feel fulfilled. Plus, if you feel entrapped and need some time off, you can always make an agreement with your partner or find a babysitter who can take care of your child during the weekend, then you can always manage to go out at least once in two weeks. As time passes, and your child/children grow, you will cope with these things more easily.
Smoking
Smoking inside a home where there are small children is a NO NO, while pregnant women should try to quit smoking even during their pregnancy. Look at this as a way of saving some money for something that your baby might need, you don’t have to buy a pack or two of cigarettes each day.
Home Décor
You home will be a mess and you will have to make some changes when it comes to organizing your furniture when a baby comes. So, if you care about the organization and decoration of your home, you will be a bit disappointed - but all of this is a cost of becoming a parent. Making room for a nursery is just a first step, but be prepared to find baby things all over your home. Baby clothes, toys and feeding equipment are just some of the necessities, according to experts, and when the little ones start to grow, having a messy home is inevitable. You can even expect that some of your favorite pieces of furniture are going to end up ruined.
Travelling
Travelling won’t be something that you are going to be able to afford when you become a parent, and I am not talking about money… At least, not the way you remember it. This is so primarily because doctors suggest that you shouldn't take your infant too far from home during the first couple of months. Climate changes and long trips aren't something that the little ones can deal with in the same manner as the adults.
Good luck adjusting!
Career
If you were planning to be a careerist, I am sorry to break it down to you, but you will probably have to forget about this one. Of course, if you can organize your time well, if you are a workaholic and especially if you can work from home, then you can somehow succeed in improving your career, but most parent are not that lucky. They have to work hard to provide for their families and still be present and work on raising their children.
Hobbies
Demanding hobbies that you used to fill your time and something that will relax you are no longer your priority once you become a parent. No one says that you should quit doing what you like, but when your children are still really young, it will be hard to cope with all obligations and still .
Pets
No matter how much you love your pets, they will come second to your child once you become a parent. Don't let this burden you, since there are many tips on how to successfully manage taking care of your baby while having a pet in your home. In addition, if you are lucky enough to live in a house and have a yard, you can choose to keep your pet(s) outside - this is not a bad and selfish solution, and don’t feel guilty. As long as you are a responsible parent towards both your pet and child, you are doing the right thing.
Socializing
You will have to cut going out a little bit, prepare yourself for spending more time at home. This might cause other problems such as depression and boredom, but if you find a way to make parenting a fun and creative process, you can still feel fulfilled. Plus, if you feel entrapped and need some time off, you can always make an agreement with your partner or find a babysitter who can take care of your child during the weekend, then you can always manage to go out at least once in two weeks. As time passes, and your child/children grow, you will cope with these things more easily.
Smoking
Smoking inside a home where there are small children is a NO NO, while pregnant women should try to quit smoking even during their pregnancy. Look at this as a way of saving some money for something that your baby might need, you don’t have to buy a pack or two of cigarettes each day.
Home Décor
You home will be a mess and you will have to make some changes when it comes to organizing your furniture when a baby comes. So, if you care about the organization and decoration of your home, you will be a bit disappointed - but all of this is a cost of becoming a parent. Making room for a nursery is just a first step, but be prepared to find baby things all over your home. Baby clothes, toys and feeding equipment are just some of the necessities, according to experts, and when the little ones start to grow, having a messy home is inevitable. You can even expect that some of your favorite pieces of furniture are going to end up ruined.
Travelling
Travelling won’t be something that you are going to be able to afford when you become a parent, and I am not talking about money… At least, not the way you remember it. This is so primarily because doctors suggest that you shouldn't take your infant too far from home during the first couple of months. Climate changes and long trips aren't something that the little ones can deal with in the same manner as the adults.
Good luck adjusting!
Monday 7 July 2014
Anger management tools
We all have our anger, but have we ever reflected how it affects our daily lives and those we interact with? How does it portray your personality? Here are some practical suggestions for dealing with anger;
1. When you are angry say nothing.
If we speak in anger we will definitely aggravate the situation and quite likely hurt the feelings of others. If we speak in anger we will find that people respond in kind, creating a spiral of negative anger. If we can remain outwardly silent it gives time for the emotion of anger to leave us.
“When angry count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to one hundred. “ -Thomas Jefferson
2. Be indifferent to those who seek to make us angry
Some people may unfortunately take a malicious pleasure in trying to make you mad. However, if we can feel indifferent to them and their words; if we feel it is beyond our dignity to even acknowledge them, then their words and actions will have no effect. Also, if we do not respond in any way to their provocation, they will lose interest and not bother us in the future.
3. Use reason to stop anger.
When we feel anger coming to the fore try to take a step back and say to yourself “This anger will not help me in any way. This anger will make the situation worse.” Even if part of us remains angry our inner voice is helping us to distance our self from the emotion of anger.
4. Look kindly upon Others.
Another visualisation, suggested by spiritual teachers is to see the anger-rousing agent as a 5 year old child. If you think of the other person as a helpless 5 year old child your compassion and forgiveness will come to the fore. If your baby brother accidentally stabbed you, you would not feel anger and desire to retaliate. Instead, you would just feel he is just too young to know any better. This exercise may be particularly useful for close members of the family who at times evoke your anger.
5. Value Peace more than anger.
If we value peace of mind as our most important treasure we will not allow anger to remain in our system. You may have every right to be angry with someone, but you know that by getting angry with him you will only lose your precious peace of mind.
6. Always try to understand those who are cross.
Don’t worry about feeling the need to defend yourself from their criticisms. If you can remain detached and calm they may begin to feel guilty about venting their anger on you. Inspired by your example of calmness, they will seek subconsciously to do the same.
7. Focus on Something Completely Different.
Suppose someone has done something to make you angry. Think about something which will make you happy. The best antidote to negativity is to focus on the positive.
8. Breathe Deeply.
The simple act of breathing deeply will help considerably with removing anger.
9. Meditation.
Practise meditation regularly to bring your inner peace to the fore. If we can have an inner access to our inner peace we will be able to draw upon this during testing times.
10. Smile
When we smile we defuse many negative situations. To smile is to offer goodwill to others. Smiling costs nothing but can effectively defuse tense situations.
Common Sense
If you leave your unlocked car in the centre of town, it is likely to get stolen. This can be frustrating and is likely to give rise to feelings of anger. Of course, we should minimise this kind of situation – simply remember to lock your car.
If we feel there is an injustice in our workplace, we should work to resolve it; this will make our work environment more peaceful and less prone to creating anger
If we have a partner who is abusive, the solution is not just dealing with our own anger, but finding a more peaceful living situation.
When we try to transcend anger, it doesn’t mean we have to acquiesce to injustice and unfairness. We should strive to make the world a better place. However, whatever our goals, it is always best to act with poise and a clear mind. Acting under the influence of anger makes it more difficult to attain what we wish to achieve.
Finally as a manager and leader, I occasionally feign anger to make my staffs pay attention; sometimes, you need to show a stern face. However, as a leader you can’t afford to allow yourself to be over-run with the emotion of anger because then you may over-react and create more problems!
1. When you are angry say nothing.
If we speak in anger we will definitely aggravate the situation and quite likely hurt the feelings of others. If we speak in anger we will find that people respond in kind, creating a spiral of negative anger. If we can remain outwardly silent it gives time for the emotion of anger to leave us.
“When angry count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to one hundred. “ -Thomas Jefferson
2. Be indifferent to those who seek to make us angry
Some people may unfortunately take a malicious pleasure in trying to make you mad. However, if we can feel indifferent to them and their words; if we feel it is beyond our dignity to even acknowledge them, then their words and actions will have no effect. Also, if we do not respond in any way to their provocation, they will lose interest and not bother us in the future.
3. Use reason to stop anger.
When we feel anger coming to the fore try to take a step back and say to yourself “This anger will not help me in any way. This anger will make the situation worse.” Even if part of us remains angry our inner voice is helping us to distance our self from the emotion of anger.
4. Look kindly upon Others.
Another visualisation, suggested by spiritual teachers is to see the anger-rousing agent as a 5 year old child. If you think of the other person as a helpless 5 year old child your compassion and forgiveness will come to the fore. If your baby brother accidentally stabbed you, you would not feel anger and desire to retaliate. Instead, you would just feel he is just too young to know any better. This exercise may be particularly useful for close members of the family who at times evoke your anger.
5. Value Peace more than anger.
If we value peace of mind as our most important treasure we will not allow anger to remain in our system. You may have every right to be angry with someone, but you know that by getting angry with him you will only lose your precious peace of mind.
6. Always try to understand those who are cross.
Don’t worry about feeling the need to defend yourself from their criticisms. If you can remain detached and calm they may begin to feel guilty about venting their anger on you. Inspired by your example of calmness, they will seek subconsciously to do the same.
7. Focus on Something Completely Different.
Suppose someone has done something to make you angry. Think about something which will make you happy. The best antidote to negativity is to focus on the positive.
8. Breathe Deeply.
The simple act of breathing deeply will help considerably with removing anger.
9. Meditation.
Practise meditation regularly to bring your inner peace to the fore. If we can have an inner access to our inner peace we will be able to draw upon this during testing times.
10. Smile
When we smile we defuse many negative situations. To smile is to offer goodwill to others. Smiling costs nothing but can effectively defuse tense situations.
Common Sense
If you leave your unlocked car in the centre of town, it is likely to get stolen. This can be frustrating and is likely to give rise to feelings of anger. Of course, we should minimise this kind of situation – simply remember to lock your car.
If we feel there is an injustice in our workplace, we should work to resolve it; this will make our work environment more peaceful and less prone to creating anger
If we have a partner who is abusive, the solution is not just dealing with our own anger, but finding a more peaceful living situation.
When we try to transcend anger, it doesn’t mean we have to acquiesce to injustice and unfairness. We should strive to make the world a better place. However, whatever our goals, it is always best to act with poise and a clear mind. Acting under the influence of anger makes it more difficult to attain what we wish to achieve.
Finally as a manager and leader, I occasionally feign anger to make my staffs pay attention; sometimes, you need to show a stern face. However, as a leader you can’t afford to allow yourself to be over-run with the emotion of anger because then you may over-react and create more problems!
Sunday 6 July 2014
Manage your emotions! How?
Emotions are a fact of life, we all have them and they are available all the time, either getting in the way or getting you on the way. They are constantly, continuously and automatically influencing your actions and inactions thereby affecting the results you end up with in any area of your life. They affect your success, whether to you success means wealth, great relationships, spirituality, career, good health or mental growth. Emotions affect your relationship with everything around you, money, yourself and other people.
Have you ever been afraid of not having enough and that stressed you? That fear of not having enough also affected your wellness and the quality of decisions you make as a result. Yet for many of us we have never really been educated around emotions, the best we were ever taught is ‘’think with you head and not your heart’’ or ‘’ don't be emotional about it’’. These lessons are not quite useful when you are going through a negative emotion that is interfering with the outcomes you want. How can you not be emotional when you are an emotional being and we all know there is no thought without an emotion and that means there is no decision where emotions are not involved. So suppressing, denying, ignoring exaggerating them might not be useful and the question to ask is how do we manage them for success? How do we leverage emotions to get us on the way to the results we want instead of getting in the way and blocking us from achieving the outcomes we want.
Think about it, what are your dominant emotions? We live in a world where people are dominated by anxiety triggered from fear of traffic, fear of crime, insecurity, fear of loss, fear of failure and so forth. This anxiety triggers in us the ‘’fight or flight’’ syndrome and we react to some of life’s natural, usual and necessary challenges as if they were life and death threats. You lash out at your partner as if they were a lion about to tear you apart and they from their side may also do the same. The result is a lost relationship, emotions got in the way and in this case the emotions may not really be coming from an issue in the relationship, they have just been displaced. Or if they are, one lost perspective because of the alarm bell from the survival instincts triggered by other life events.
Emotions have to be navigated with awareness and some ways to navigate include:
•Be aware of emotions and notice how they affect your behavior
•Don't flow back on yourself, that is emotions are supposed to move through and out, not to be hoarded. Tools to use include the Emotional Freedom Technique and Transforming Emotions through questioning them
•Be present, most negative emotions are triggered by a past or future event
•Celebrate the hero in you
•Become conversant with your life story, most of us are tripped backwards by unprocessed negative emotions from the past
Have you ever been afraid of not having enough and that stressed you? That fear of not having enough also affected your wellness and the quality of decisions you make as a result. Yet for many of us we have never really been educated around emotions, the best we were ever taught is ‘’think with you head and not your heart’’ or ‘’ don't be emotional about it’’. These lessons are not quite useful when you are going through a negative emotion that is interfering with the outcomes you want. How can you not be emotional when you are an emotional being and we all know there is no thought without an emotion and that means there is no decision where emotions are not involved. So suppressing, denying, ignoring exaggerating them might not be useful and the question to ask is how do we manage them for success? How do we leverage emotions to get us on the way to the results we want instead of getting in the way and blocking us from achieving the outcomes we want.
Think about it, what are your dominant emotions? We live in a world where people are dominated by anxiety triggered from fear of traffic, fear of crime, insecurity, fear of loss, fear of failure and so forth. This anxiety triggers in us the ‘’fight or flight’’ syndrome and we react to some of life’s natural, usual and necessary challenges as if they were life and death threats. You lash out at your partner as if they were a lion about to tear you apart and they from their side may also do the same. The result is a lost relationship, emotions got in the way and in this case the emotions may not really be coming from an issue in the relationship, they have just been displaced. Or if they are, one lost perspective because of the alarm bell from the survival instincts triggered by other life events.
Emotions have to be navigated with awareness and some ways to navigate include:
•Be aware of emotions and notice how they affect your behavior
•Don't flow back on yourself, that is emotions are supposed to move through and out, not to be hoarded. Tools to use include the Emotional Freedom Technique and Transforming Emotions through questioning them
•Be present, most negative emotions are triggered by a past or future event
•Celebrate the hero in you
•Become conversant with your life story, most of us are tripped backwards by unprocessed negative emotions from the past
Saturday 5 July 2014
From Joseph Kony to Boko Haram, Your peers can build or destroy you and the society!
Do you remember Kony?
Joseph Kony, the leader of Central Africa’s militant/terrorist child-kidnapping group “Lord’s Resistance Army.”
Chances are you or someone you know was responsible for one of the 100+ million views of the video “KONY 2012” on Vimeo and YouTube….100+ million views in six days…beating, according to audience data service Visible Measures, Lady Gaga’s Bad Romance video which took 18 days to reach that number.
The video created a viral sensation and instant fame for the Non-Profit that was responsible for its creation “Invisible Children.”
Rihanna, Justin Bieber, Diddy and of course the Kardashian sisters, among many others, tweeted their support, and Invisible Children processed 500,000 orders for their $30 activation kit.
Jason Russell, who ran Invisible Children and was responsible for the video, was a media darling and traveled the world giving interviews and raising money.
And then it all crashed. Critics questioned their methods and motivation; conspiracy theorists accused them of fraud, and it became clear that they were neither experts in African politics or NGO activities.
Russell had a nervous breakdown and, although still quietly in operation, they have gone from a high of $27 million in revenue to $4+ million today and have basically halved their operations.
Most of the viewers of that historic viral video, KONY 2012, have long forgotten him…And Joseph Kony is still running around Africa….as are many other terrorists of his ilk.
Now, I am sure that you remember the 250 Nigerian girls kidnapped by Muslim extremist group Boko Haram…
And no doubt you saw – somewhere – the picture of First Lady Michelle Obama tweeting a #BringBackOurGirls message that received 58,000 retweets, adding to the 2M+ retweets that the hashtag received in total.
I guess that 250 kidnapped girls was not as exciting as a video, so 100 million views becomes 2 million retweets…but at the end of the day the outcome is the same – Kony is still out there and sadly, so are the girls.
All of which brings me to the recent cold-blooded murder of three kidnapped Israeli teenagers whom all of the social media activation in the world did nothing to save and is too new and raw to forget yet…
And, sadly, as well, the cruel kidnapping and killing of a young Palestinian boy...
And then I had an epiphany…
We talk about community with almost religious reverence as we hype our digital networks for monetization. The Digibabble is never ending as we talk about our ability to connect – to anyone… anywhere…anytime.
In his Letter to Investors as part of the IPO filing, Mark Zuckerberg wrote about Facebook’s mission and role in improving the world:
“To get everyone in the world connected.” “To strengthen how people relate to each other.” “We are extending people’s capacity to build and maintain relationships.” “A network built from the bottom up or peer to peer.”
So where were the peers who had seen the teens — all four of them — or heard of their abduction? Why hadn’t they cried out and connected?
Where are the peers who know where the kidnapped girls were being held? Why aren’t they sharing and helping?
Where are the peers who know where Kony is hiding? Why aren’t they connecting and screaming his whereabouts?
It’s bad enough that we allow ourselves off the action hook with a hashtag and a share or two – but I would like to think — I hope and pray — that many of us…most of us —would be on the action side of helping — of clicking and shouting if we were given the chance — understanding that part of the covenant of this truly connected social world is to use that power to change it for the better…not to passively allow it to get worse while we tweet our protests.
Seems to me that if we really want to change the world – not just make our shopping experiences better – it’s time to reframe our notion of community.
Community was once a place of action linked to emotion…a powerful hub and spoke of social change.
Nowadays anyone on a compiled data file can be considered to be part of a community….how the mighty have fallen.
Make your communities real – help them activate – get them offline – unplug them and really connect them – click and shout…really loud…
We can change the world — but not if we click and forget…
Joseph Kony, the leader of Central Africa’s militant/terrorist child-kidnapping group “Lord’s Resistance Army.”
Chances are you or someone you know was responsible for one of the 100+ million views of the video “KONY 2012” on Vimeo and YouTube….100+ million views in six days…beating, according to audience data service Visible Measures, Lady Gaga’s Bad Romance video which took 18 days to reach that number.
The video created a viral sensation and instant fame for the Non-Profit that was responsible for its creation “Invisible Children.”
Rihanna, Justin Bieber, Diddy and of course the Kardashian sisters, among many others, tweeted their support, and Invisible Children processed 500,000 orders for their $30 activation kit.
Jason Russell, who ran Invisible Children and was responsible for the video, was a media darling and traveled the world giving interviews and raising money.
And then it all crashed. Critics questioned their methods and motivation; conspiracy theorists accused them of fraud, and it became clear that they were neither experts in African politics or NGO activities.
Russell had a nervous breakdown and, although still quietly in operation, they have gone from a high of $27 million in revenue to $4+ million today and have basically halved their operations.
Most of the viewers of that historic viral video, KONY 2012, have long forgotten him…And Joseph Kony is still running around Africa….as are many other terrorists of his ilk.
Now, I am sure that you remember the 250 Nigerian girls kidnapped by Muslim extremist group Boko Haram…
And no doubt you saw – somewhere – the picture of First Lady Michelle Obama tweeting a #BringBackOurGirls message that received 58,000 retweets, adding to the 2M+ retweets that the hashtag received in total.
I guess that 250 kidnapped girls was not as exciting as a video, so 100 million views becomes 2 million retweets…but at the end of the day the outcome is the same – Kony is still out there and sadly, so are the girls.
All of which brings me to the recent cold-blooded murder of three kidnapped Israeli teenagers whom all of the social media activation in the world did nothing to save and is too new and raw to forget yet…
And, sadly, as well, the cruel kidnapping and killing of a young Palestinian boy...
And then I had an epiphany…
We talk about community with almost religious reverence as we hype our digital networks for monetization. The Digibabble is never ending as we talk about our ability to connect – to anyone… anywhere…anytime.
In his Letter to Investors as part of the IPO filing, Mark Zuckerberg wrote about Facebook’s mission and role in improving the world:
“To get everyone in the world connected.” “To strengthen how people relate to each other.” “We are extending people’s capacity to build and maintain relationships.” “A network built from the bottom up or peer to peer.”
So where were the peers who had seen the teens — all four of them — or heard of their abduction? Why hadn’t they cried out and connected?
Where are the peers who know where the kidnapped girls were being held? Why aren’t they sharing and helping?
Where are the peers who know where Kony is hiding? Why aren’t they connecting and screaming his whereabouts?
It’s bad enough that we allow ourselves off the action hook with a hashtag and a share or two – but I would like to think — I hope and pray — that many of us…most of us —would be on the action side of helping — of clicking and shouting if we were given the chance — understanding that part of the covenant of this truly connected social world is to use that power to change it for the better…not to passively allow it to get worse while we tweet our protests.
Seems to me that if we really want to change the world – not just make our shopping experiences better – it’s time to reframe our notion of community.
Community was once a place of action linked to emotion…a powerful hub and spoke of social change.
Nowadays anyone on a compiled data file can be considered to be part of a community….how the mighty have fallen.
Make your communities real – help them activate – get them offline – unplug them and really connect them – click and shout…really loud…
We can change the world — but not if we click and forget…
How to achieve job satisfaction
My colleague quit his job last week to concentrate on studying for grad school full-time, and while I pride myself on being one of his biggest supporters, I know that his real motive for leaving was to ultimately pursue a career that he is passionate about. Of course, he won’t be able to tell you what that is, just that he hopes to discover it.
His departure got me thinking. I’d be lying if I said that I was passionate about my job, but I don’t dread coming to work every day. Most days, as a matter of fact, I truly enjoy what I do. While I consider myself a lucky employee, surrounded by a circle of coworkers and a boss I adore and admire in and outside the office, I attribute much of my professional happiness to my workplace mindset. I’m a firm believer that with the right attitude, my dream job might not be light years ahead of me (move over, Anna Wintour!).
During the few short years I’ve been in the working world, I have accumulated 5 tricks that get me out the door in the morning, coffee in hand, all by opening bell.
Getting Enough Sleep
There was a (short) period of time in my life, post-college, that I had a hard time adjusting to having to work straight through an entire eight-hour day (hel-looooo, late nights!). Whether you are a new member of the corporate world, or have been immersed for years, being well-rested proves essential to a fresh morning outlook. Psssst… java helps, too!
Managing Your Time, Efficiently
My day-to-day workload varies, and during my busiest weeks, I understand that managing my to-do list (and my social time) simultaneously manages my stress level, which dictates my mood. While I always consider myself to be diligent and mindful of everything on my plate, making lists and checking them multiple times throughout the day always keeps me in check, and work completed on-time.
Knowing When You Need a Snickers Break
I have firm opinions on work hours, and although sometimes a project may require me to stay at the office later than usual, I make sure that I maintain a nice office/life balance that works for my schedule. That’s the thing about balance: We all have different thresholds. Know your limits, and keep your time managed well enough so that your workload is conducive to your schedule. Seems like a “Millennial” concept, but it can successfully apply to all of those who budget their time wisely (see above trick).
Admitting Your Mistakes, Taking Credit For What is Yours, Giving Credit When It’s Due
They say that sharing is caring, and when you share not only the credit, but the blame, you’re saving someone else from humiliation they may not deserve. Admitting to your wrong doings builds character, and allows your coworkers to trust you more easily. By the same token, take stock in your work, and accept praise for exceptional output. Taking blame and credit are two-way streets. Make sure to look both ways.
Helping everyone. Yes, everyone.
My biggest pet peeve in the workplace is when someone asks for help, and they just don’t get it. Making excuses for leaving your coworkers in the dust, or reactively helping (instead of proactively!) is actually hurting them, and you. Personal feelings aside, lending a hand to someone who is drowning, or who simply needs it, is not only a good deed, but is a positive reflection on the kind of person you are. And If your boss is watching, you better believe you’ve got some good karma coming your way.
His departure got me thinking. I’d be lying if I said that I was passionate about my job, but I don’t dread coming to work every day. Most days, as a matter of fact, I truly enjoy what I do. While I consider myself a lucky employee, surrounded by a circle of coworkers and a boss I adore and admire in and outside the office, I attribute much of my professional happiness to my workplace mindset. I’m a firm believer that with the right attitude, my dream job might not be light years ahead of me (move over, Anna Wintour!).
During the few short years I’ve been in the working world, I have accumulated 5 tricks that get me out the door in the morning, coffee in hand, all by opening bell.
Getting Enough Sleep
There was a (short) period of time in my life, post-college, that I had a hard time adjusting to having to work straight through an entire eight-hour day (hel-looooo, late nights!). Whether you are a new member of the corporate world, or have been immersed for years, being well-rested proves essential to a fresh morning outlook. Psssst… java helps, too!
Managing Your Time, Efficiently
My day-to-day workload varies, and during my busiest weeks, I understand that managing my to-do list (and my social time) simultaneously manages my stress level, which dictates my mood. While I always consider myself to be diligent and mindful of everything on my plate, making lists and checking them multiple times throughout the day always keeps me in check, and work completed on-time.
Knowing When You Need a Snickers Break
I have firm opinions on work hours, and although sometimes a project may require me to stay at the office later than usual, I make sure that I maintain a nice office/life balance that works for my schedule. That’s the thing about balance: We all have different thresholds. Know your limits, and keep your time managed well enough so that your workload is conducive to your schedule. Seems like a “Millennial” concept, but it can successfully apply to all of those who budget their time wisely (see above trick).
Admitting Your Mistakes, Taking Credit For What is Yours, Giving Credit When It’s Due
They say that sharing is caring, and when you share not only the credit, but the blame, you’re saving someone else from humiliation they may not deserve. Admitting to your wrong doings builds character, and allows your coworkers to trust you more easily. By the same token, take stock in your work, and accept praise for exceptional output. Taking blame and credit are two-way streets. Make sure to look both ways.
Helping everyone. Yes, everyone.
My biggest pet peeve in the workplace is when someone asks for help, and they just don’t get it. Making excuses for leaving your coworkers in the dust, or reactively helping (instead of proactively!) is actually hurting them, and you. Personal feelings aside, lending a hand to someone who is drowning, or who simply needs it, is not only a good deed, but is a positive reflection on the kind of person you are. And If your boss is watching, you better believe you’ve got some good karma coming your way.
Friday 4 July 2014
Self appraisal: I have been a bad manager!
Anyone who has been a leader of people; whether a manager or a president, has at some point not done it particularly well.
I subscribe to the "3 Kinds of Bad Manager" scenario.
Bad Manager 1 has no idea that she is a bad manager. No one has told her. She is only doing what she has seen done by other bad managers before her and she honestly thinks that what she is doing is the right way to do it.
Bad Manager 2 knows he is missing the mark. He knows he isn't that great and feels a bit insecure about it. But he also wants to be better. He just doesn't always know how to go about it.
Bad Manager 3 is what I like to call the Tyrant. You'll generally find them as CEOs or high-level regional or national managers. They don't care that they are a bad manager. It's their way, or the highway.
I like to think that I have been both Bad Manager 1 and Bad Manager 2. I have not yet enjoyed the perks of being Bad Manager 3 and I am not sure that I ever want to!
In the spirit of often being Bad Manager 2, here's an honest look at 4 ways that I have missed the mark as a manager.
1. I Flipped. Then I Flopped.
There are only a few times in my career that I haven't trusted my own very well-researched position on a topic. That's of course, until a fast-talking, empire-building, pushy bulldozer of a person has come to present their "much better idea" that has no research to back it. It's amazing how often I have lost confidence in what I was doing simply because I have been baffled with the fast-talk of someone with a loaded agenda and a lack of respect for how hard I work at making sure the decisions I make are right.
Considering that I have not built my career on being a tyrant or by "sucking up" to the right people, I can only assume that my career has been built upon merit and my value to the companies I have worked for. So why am I so easily rattled?
My team have benefitted when my vision has been clear and my mission has been stable and consistent. They start to fall when my mission pivots for unclear reasons and my vision is clouded by the influence of "she who yells the loudest".
Whilst I have improved greatly in this area, my confidence is still rattled from time-to-time by aggressive people who know how to talk in circles. There is clearly more work for me to do.
2. No, you go home. I'll work the weekend instead.
I have often dismissed a team member's offer to help with after-hours or weekend work and shouldered the burden myself instead. In fact, I did it this very same weekend on which I am writing this piece. I am not sure whether I have done it out of a genuine concern for them to rest on their time off, or whether I did it to be a hero. I certainly hope it's not the latter. But there have been so many times when I am sure they really did want to help. Instead of showing them how hard I work and the commitment I have to my work, I am just showing them that they are not valued enough to be part of that work and that if they want to one day rise in to my position, that they too will be expected to do the same. Is it any wonder no one in my teams have ever wanted my job?
This is an area of my management techniques that I still need to work on today.
3. I can't make the meeting, therefore the meeting is cancelled.
Of all the things I have done that completely invalidate the abilities of my team, this is perhaps the one I am most ashamed of. By cancelling a meeting simply because I can't be there, I am telling my team that none of them are capable of running a meeting and they can't make any decisions without me being present.
I can only remember two occasions when I had to over-rule decisions made my senior team members. And in both cases that was due to new information coming to hand that changed their assumptions leading in to the decisions being made. My team have watched me run a meeting enough times and have watched my decision-making process enough times now to know what my input would be and why I would make the decisions I make.
Recently I have released the running of my team's daily "stand-up" meetings to the team themselves. They rotate it through them. And they are really good at it. Im fact, a few of them do it better than I do. And I couldn't be more proud.
4. Follow-up? What follow-up?
"Sure, we'll catch up next week and put that development plan in concrete".
Those were the famous last words of a staff development plan from last year. And naturally I have all the most valid excuses in the world as to why, 9 months later, we still haven't gone any further with discussing their goals and career aspirations.
It takes 15 seconds for me to set a reminder in my Google Calendar to call or follow-up on something. I takes about 6 seconds for me set a reminder using Siri on the iPhone that is permanently attached to my body.
There is no excuse. By not following-through with my staff on matters such as their development plans, I am showing them that they are not valued, not worth my time and not really a priority to me.
Clearly this is already part of my own development plan for the next 2 months.
Speaking of which; perhaps it's time I started putting my own Staff Development Plan together. Maybe I'll even post it on here?
I subscribe to the "3 Kinds of Bad Manager" scenario.
Bad Manager 1 has no idea that she is a bad manager. No one has told her. She is only doing what she has seen done by other bad managers before her and she honestly thinks that what she is doing is the right way to do it.
Bad Manager 2 knows he is missing the mark. He knows he isn't that great and feels a bit insecure about it. But he also wants to be better. He just doesn't always know how to go about it.
Bad Manager 3 is what I like to call the Tyrant. You'll generally find them as CEOs or high-level regional or national managers. They don't care that they are a bad manager. It's their way, or the highway.
I like to think that I have been both Bad Manager 1 and Bad Manager 2. I have not yet enjoyed the perks of being Bad Manager 3 and I am not sure that I ever want to!
In the spirit of often being Bad Manager 2, here's an honest look at 4 ways that I have missed the mark as a manager.
1. I Flipped. Then I Flopped.
There are only a few times in my career that I haven't trusted my own very well-researched position on a topic. That's of course, until a fast-talking, empire-building, pushy bulldozer of a person has come to present their "much better idea" that has no research to back it. It's amazing how often I have lost confidence in what I was doing simply because I have been baffled with the fast-talk of someone with a loaded agenda and a lack of respect for how hard I work at making sure the decisions I make are right.
Considering that I have not built my career on being a tyrant or by "sucking up" to the right people, I can only assume that my career has been built upon merit and my value to the companies I have worked for. So why am I so easily rattled?
My team have benefitted when my vision has been clear and my mission has been stable and consistent. They start to fall when my mission pivots for unclear reasons and my vision is clouded by the influence of "she who yells the loudest".
Whilst I have improved greatly in this area, my confidence is still rattled from time-to-time by aggressive people who know how to talk in circles. There is clearly more work for me to do.
2. No, you go home. I'll work the weekend instead.
I have often dismissed a team member's offer to help with after-hours or weekend work and shouldered the burden myself instead. In fact, I did it this very same weekend on which I am writing this piece. I am not sure whether I have done it out of a genuine concern for them to rest on their time off, or whether I did it to be a hero. I certainly hope it's not the latter. But there have been so many times when I am sure they really did want to help. Instead of showing them how hard I work and the commitment I have to my work, I am just showing them that they are not valued enough to be part of that work and that if they want to one day rise in to my position, that they too will be expected to do the same. Is it any wonder no one in my teams have ever wanted my job?
This is an area of my management techniques that I still need to work on today.
3. I can't make the meeting, therefore the meeting is cancelled.
Of all the things I have done that completely invalidate the abilities of my team, this is perhaps the one I am most ashamed of. By cancelling a meeting simply because I can't be there, I am telling my team that none of them are capable of running a meeting and they can't make any decisions without me being present.
I can only remember two occasions when I had to over-rule decisions made my senior team members. And in both cases that was due to new information coming to hand that changed their assumptions leading in to the decisions being made. My team have watched me run a meeting enough times and have watched my decision-making process enough times now to know what my input would be and why I would make the decisions I make.
Recently I have released the running of my team's daily "stand-up" meetings to the team themselves. They rotate it through them. And they are really good at it. Im fact, a few of them do it better than I do. And I couldn't be more proud.
4. Follow-up? What follow-up?
"Sure, we'll catch up next week and put that development plan in concrete".
Those were the famous last words of a staff development plan from last year. And naturally I have all the most valid excuses in the world as to why, 9 months later, we still haven't gone any further with discussing their goals and career aspirations.
It takes 15 seconds for me to set a reminder in my Google Calendar to call or follow-up on something. I takes about 6 seconds for me set a reminder using Siri on the iPhone that is permanently attached to my body.
There is no excuse. By not following-through with my staff on matters such as their development plans, I am showing them that they are not valued, not worth my time and not really a priority to me.
Clearly this is already part of my own development plan for the next 2 months.
Speaking of which; perhaps it's time I started putting my own Staff Development Plan together. Maybe I'll even post it on here?
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