That moment when church is nuisance!

Not everyone who calls Him “Lord, Lord” will enter the kingdom of heaven, our saviour once admonished. Apparently, a few people heard this and thought: “Well, we must make sure we call loud enough, otherwise tutahata ride ya kuenda kwa sir God!!.”

The result….
Brutal noise: Noise that charges into your windows and grabs the sleep out of your head and flings it out into the darkness, noise that then proceeds to stamp on your head for all the hours until dawn.

Local pharmacies and bars register abnormal orders for Valium and Vodka every time they hear that the local church is having an “overnight prayer” aka “Kesha”, aka “Nuisance”.

Those Days: There was a time when we would hear our local churches from our homes and think: “Oh, how sweet the songs of praise I hear as the faithful offer up worship unto the Lord. I ought to go and join them, that I may meet the Lord, too.” 

But now? Now we say: “Lord, make it stop!” When people say they are mostly taking the Lord’s name in vain, but still, they genuinely wish the Lord would make those jerks actually stop praising Him, or at least stop praising Him so loudly.

Think of it: The service only needs to be loud enough for the person in the back to hear, right? Anything else is excess. Superfluous. One might even say greedy, selfish and inconsiderate.

So, what makes a person who only needs 50 metres of sound decide to instead buy, activate, fuel and power a kilometre of sound? Is it love, charity, kindness, compassion, thinking of your neighbour before yourself as the Lord prescribed?

Not at all. They have applied flagrant conceit, callous meanness, run-away vanity and have decided that their neighbour can go screw themselves because they want to have a loud party and do not care about anybody else.

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO NEMA AND THE NOISE POLLUTION LAW?

On any given night: You know that there are people in there who need to rest. People reading for exams, people who are ill... At the very least, there are babies.

If you walk into a room where a baby is asleep and shout “PRAISE GAD HALLELUJAH! CHIISAS LOVES YOU!” at the top of your voice, you will not be called pious and devout, you will be called a stupid, selfish jerk. And that is waking up one kid for a few seconds. Now, imagine waking up an entire neighbourhood of kids for a whole night? Damn! I need me a Vodka too!

So what do you suggest? I suggest we continue to suffer as victims of these Pharisees. I suggest we put up with it. Just allow. Swallow. Suffer locally. The Kenyan way. Kaa kijeshi!

Or: Or if you have the courage and are ready to be as much of an ass as they are, you could consider the exhortation from Luke 6:31: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Clearly, they want us to do unto them what they do unto us, so let us become as much of a nuisance to them as they are to us.

Perhaps begin by dumping our rubbish inside their church. That is a strategy I read about on the internet once. Worked in Nigeria. Though I would be more partial to going to the pastor’s house when he is taking his nap (to rest after his all-night service) and singing “…am dundaing” underneath his window albeit off-key… but still doing unto him as he does unto us!!

You don't have to rob a bank for Christmas!

The holiday spending frenzy is here! Pssst! Did you know that you don’t necessarily have to turn up broke in January? Here are tips on the how;

1.  Set limits for total holiday spending - be realistic about what you are willing to sacrifice by developing new-and-improved spending habits. 
2. Make your own "naughty" or "nice" lists - Santa has to buy presents for the whole world, but you don't 
3. Give your time - Mom and dad (or other far-away family and friends) might love nothing more than a visit from you. Give small gifts and large hugs. 
4. Give personalized gifts instead of expensive gifts 
5. Organize group volunteering instead of holiday parties - You'll get to spend quality time together – plus, you'll come out of the day feeling proud of your efforts rather than suffering from buyer's remorse, and anyone can benefit from volunteering

The Bottom Line

Don't let your debt become the Scrooge that robs the fun from your holiday season. Spend time with your friends and family, base your gift buying on sentiment rather than currency value, and avoid giving yourself a year-round debt headache. If you can follow these tips, when your holiday bank statements arrive in the New Year, you'll find yourself singing "Joy to the World" all over again.

UCHUMI: The walking dead.

The Kenyan Government always does a poor job at rescuing financially-distressed companies. Currently, on the deathbed is #Uchumi, a national brand that used to be a selling outlet for more than 80 per cent of locally manufactured goods.

A few years ago, we witnessed the mess that became of management of the insolvency that hit Webuye-based Pan African Paper Mills! You all remember the case of Nakumatt: The elephant on its knees?

In a period of hardly one year, the National Treasury has pumped a whopping Sh 1.2 billion into Uchumi in the name of supporting a turnaround plan. All indications are that the experiment is not working. The home of value is now a true case of the walking dead.

The much-touted turnaround plans have turned out to be exercises of closing branches and disposing of assets. All indications are that the billions of taxpayer shillings that the government has pumped into rescuing Uchumi Supermarkets will go down the drain.

The messy manner in which the Ministry of Trade and Industry and the National Treasury have handled the Uchumi Supermarkets came to light the other day when the State-owned Kenya National Trading Company (KNTC) closed the headquarters of Uchumi Supermarkets in Nairobi’s Industrial Area over rent arrears.

For a whole week, Uchumi was not able to operate because of the action by KNTC which it owes some Sh43 million in rent arrears.

A CASE OF GOVERNMENT HARRASSING ITSELF;

Yet as we all know, KNTC and Uchumi Supermarkets are both State-owned. And, they are both parastatals under the Ministry of Trade and Industry under the charge of Trade Cabinet Secretary Peter Munya and principal secretary Chris Kiptoo. It was a perfect example of the right hand not knowing- or even caring about- what the left hand is doing.

Are we still to believe that the administration of President Uhuru Kenyatta is committed to rescuing Uchumi Supermarkets? Is it still important for us to recover billions in shareholder loans that the government pumped into the company last year?

I found myself reflecting about the history of government investment in commercial undertakings especially in the wholesale and trading business in general, but more particularly in KNTC itself.

THE KNTC HISTORY;

There was a time in the history of this country when KNTC was king, the biggest importer and distributor of consumer goods, and owning a network of depots and godowns in most of the big towns in the republic.

These were the times when we were deep in the period of the ancient regime of price controls, powerful commodity marketing boards, import licensing controls, and an exchange control regime that required you to queue at a window at the Central Bank of Kenya for an allocation to allow you to purchase an air ticket.

The tiff at Uchumi over rent arrears made me come to terms with the fact that some of these old parastatals of the command –and- control regime did not die even after we transited to a liberalised economy. So, I read from KNTC’s website that it is still involved in the distribution of a variety of goods the most absurd of which include-, barbed wire, wheelbarrows(Is Bungoma listening), chicken wire, chain links and pipe fittings.

The corporation also leases godowns and canteens to the private sector. To which I ask: why should the government be involved in distributing wheelbarrows? KNTC should have been privatised and its assets sold to the private sector many years ago

The impending implosion of activities around Uchumi and its revival is bound to inflict widespread financial distress to many other companies especially within the SME sector.

THE SOLUTION;

If the government is, indeed, serious about saving Uchumi, it must go by the well-known playbook applied by other governments in a similar situation and that runs as follows:

First, kick in equity to allow you to acquire majority control. Throw out the management and board and bring in an international chain to run the firm under a management contract.

To ease liquidity for the company, do a bond that you can then on-lend to the supermarket chain and make it possible for the company to borrow at a risk-free rate.

The disaster in comfort!

There is stagnation in comfort!

We stopped developing ourselves the minute we got jobs. We naively assumed that life stopped for us as well. We did the expected, the accepted and remained on the tried and tested paths.

We conformed, fitted into the teams we joined and became bonafide members. In a nutshell, we remained aspired to and remained average. It means that we sailed smoothly... and that is wonderful on many fronts.

The issue is that we fitted in too well to disrupt the status quo, didn't ruffle any feathers or rock any boats by attempting to journey on roads less-travelled. It means we did nothing outstanding, however, high up the ladder we got.

The other people chose to engage in taxing, time-consuming, seemingly thankless and endless endeavours. Why would we put ourselves through what they did? They must have been looking to suck up to their managers.

We are the smart confident people who wouldn’t need to take on such arduous self-punishment when we could get by fulfilling the duties outlined in our job descriptions. At the end of our days, we met up with our friends and did the usual comfortable normal things that working people do.

THE STAGNATION;

Tick tock tick tock... three years later, those seemingly crazy emerge as leaders within or outside our organisations. They, unlike us, were prepared without necessarily being called upon to embrace the dynamic environment and showcase their strengths.

They understood early on in their careers that to fully appreciate and align themselves with an organisation's goals, they had to raise their own self-awareness and establish personal ideals and direction. They understood the value of personal discipline and raised their value in personal, professional and social interactions.

The power of their productive habits propelled the effective, consistent, relevant and timely execution of their aspirations. They take it upon themselves to raise the bar of organisational mindsets and overall culture by personifying desirable leadership traits. These people weren’t the best academic performers but their success is no wonder.

THE BIG QUESTION;

Why did we get passed by? We are brilliant people! How could this have happened? Well, unlike them, we secretly entertained what these people now have but we weren’t ready to roll up our sleeves to do the required work. We now seemingly suddenly find that we are stuck in the same place we were three years ago. We can no longer speak of careers. We just have jobs that progressively feel more of daily grinds.

There is no promise of advancement. We are 'demotivated' and our employers must surely be to blame for it. We struggle to manage ourselves. The teams we manage become more and more of burdens. We can hardly carry out projects without pulling our hair out. We grow older and more set in our ways. The companies we work for begin to feel less like the exciting opportunities we sought a while back and more like mazes of unending bureaucratic systems that serve more to handcuff our creativity than empower us to give our best output. How stifling can life be! We slide into frustration. Lethargy sets in and before we know it, we are no longer the star performers we once were. We are no longer the energetic, driven professionals that our employers signed the dotted line for.

Our employers, on the other hand, have their own goals. They are busy people with little or no time to babysit us, especially because there is no shortage of younger, cheaper, eager and energetic entrants into the workplace to pick from. Opportunities inevitably start to skip us more than we can bear. We dream of transitioning into new roles or take the plunge into entrepreneurship for years but do nothing. We convince ourselves that we are being realistic; we are tied up in loans, school fees and mortgages, you know. So we stay put feeding our minds on the unfortunate notion that it is better to be safe than sorry.

Most of those around us subscribe to the same school of thought. This is what life is, right? All the while, the clock’s hands tick away diligently. Soon, our employer restructures and we find ourselves out in the cold. The question is: are we willing to put in the work to make that happen before hitting the rock?

TRADITIONAL AUDIT APPROACH IS A SCREW-UP!

There is need to depart from the traditional audit philosophy that is reactive, detective and over relies on end year reviews and embrace tailored control concept that will enhance real time operational efficiency, proactive and one that will focus on prevention, detection and correction of errors and irregularities, embraces information technology and produces accurate, complete and actionable audit reports.

The system boasts of advanced medicine yet the populace is on their sick beds! Case of traditional audit therapy to changing auditee needs and technology! It is not surprising that still the so called "Big Four" still have these defects in their approach! especially when dealing with government entities.

KENYAN POSTMORTEM AUDITS!

The Public Audit Act 2007 of Kenya gives the Controller of Budget and the Auditor-General the mandate to audit all public entities and provide a professional opinion to Parliament at least once every financial calendar year on matters arising from their audit work. Lately, mainstream media has been awash with accounts of financial impropriety in a number of public entities running into millions of shillings as highlighted by the Auditor-General.

A number of inquests emanating from audit reports are ongoing in Parliament. However, the frequency by which embezzlement of public resources get reported across the governance structures leaves one wondering whether compliance audit approach is effective. To start with, revealed acts of fraud have over 50 percent chance of recurring thus revealing weaknesses and ineffectiveness of the postmortem audit approach in examining compliance to financial regulations and procedures in conduct of public affairs.

Incidentally, as a matter of procedure, much as financial audit is designed to uncover faults in the public expenditure trail, audit reports generated are expected to highlight weak points that abet compliance and advice on probable remedies. That being the case, it is high time relevant authorities reflects and evaluate on today’s audit trail, systems and procedures

THE SOLUTION;

Following the establishment of devolved units in 2013, financial audit became more complex, time consuming and taxing. For this reason, and without pre-emptying the importance of compliance audit to financial management, the country had better consider employing financial risk management framework instead. This approach, assesses risk exposures beforehand capture them for control and put in place necessary administrative control measures to avert shortfalls.

Again, the approach deliberately explores appropriateness of applied controls and systems effectiveness. Actually, risk management involves gaps identification, evaluation and prioritization followed by coordinated and economical resource application to monitor and control risk occurrence and or minimize its impact in case of an occurrence.

Under this approach, strong internal control systems are advanced in managing exposure to operational risks through prevention or and early detection and correction of errors and irregularities. Where established, control systems are critical in addressing loss of public resources, malpractices and corruption in public realm.

Additionally, they lay a foundation of discipline and structures made functional in conduct of public affairs thus safeguarding integrity, ethical behavior, competence, participation and responsiveness. Still, it is easier to monitor quality of formulated controls through regular performance tests and design interrogation.

BOTTOM-LINE;

Basically, automated audit trail unlike paper based one will reduce use of hard copy documents, records duplication and avoidance to laid down procedures and rather make financial operations more effective, financial reporting more reliable and complete thus guaranteeing compliance to established laws, rules, regulations and policies.

Only then, will governance objectives and processes be adhered to.

Why you should invest in Naivasha

When Uganda announced that it had dropped plans for an SGR (Standard Gauge Railway) and that they will rehabilitate the old narrow Metre Gauge Railway (MGR), it became evident that Kenya had to scale down its SGR ambitions, at least in the near term!

Kenya plans to complete its SGR from Mombasa to Naivasha by mid-2019, after which the focus should shift to maximizing value for the SGR.

How to increase and maintain Mombasa Port attractiveness to Uganda, Congo, South Sudan, Rwanda, Burundi etc, using a combination of SGR, MGR and road haulage, is now the immediate guiding questions for Kenya.

Developing a major ICD at Suswa (Naivasha) and linking it with the MGR (say at Longonot), will create an ideal and effective convergence of the three modes of transport at Naivasha.

If indeed Uganda will upgrade its MGR network, Kenya will likewise modernise its MGR section from Naivasha to Malaba. This will increase service assurance and safety. A redesigned road access from the Naivasha ICD to the main highway will also be necessary.

The final product will be a Naivasha logistics hub of choice handling transit imports and exports, and also exports/imports for western parts of Kenya, Rwanda, Burundi, Congo, Uganda, South Sudan etc.

Travel distances by importers/exporters will be shortened, and specifically the Nairobi ICD clutter and city congestion will be avoided.

Next is Kisumu for the waterway connection with Tanzania and Uganda!

My Opinion: Go for it. Invest huge and capitalize on current low property prices in Naivasha. It’s the next big thing

Do you need a Coach or a Mentor?

Many people do not understand the difference between mentorship and coaching. While both are quite important, mentorship goes deep and the relationship lasts long while coaching is a formal relationship, which takes place for a specified period of time. Think of mentorship as a long-lasting friendship in which you get to gain a lot of advice, help, and guidance from your mentor. 
Coaching, on the other hand, is almost like attending classes to learn about a very specific subject and the relationship you have with your coach is based on what you gain from the coach and how long it takes. While these are the general rules that guide the relationship in mentorship and coaching, there are other more particular differences. Let us discuss what each entails.

WHAT IS MENTORSHIP?

A relationship between a mentor and a mentee is organic. This is to mean that the relationship is cultivated over a long time and the mentee learns a lot from the mentor. It starts from two people knowing each other closely having a common ground. A mentor will guide you in many aspects of your life not just in your career as the relationship is often informal. Most of the time, this is a person you have similar interests with and through their experiences, you can learn a lot.

A mentor is like a role model: A mentor is someone you look up to for one reason or another. This is someone you can have open conversations with; on different aspects of your life. This means that it cannot be a random person whom you just met and know little or nothing about. It is often a person who mirrors what you might be interested in and this person holds your hand as you grow along.

A mentor offers guidance and support: A mentor can work with you to find solutions to your problems. They may not have all the answers to your questions but are willing to work with you to find solutions to those problems that they may not understand. However, most of the time, your mentor will often have more experience in a certain field than you do and can, therefore, offer sound advice based on personal experience or from observation. Your mentor can also help you gain access to opportunities that are otherwise out of your reach.

A mentor offers advice on career and personal growth: A mentorship relationship goes beyond advice on how you can grow your career. Since your mentor has a good understanding of you, he or she is likely to offer sound advice on matters that go beyond your career, and this is based on your strengths and weaknesses. They are resourceful and are interested in helping you grow holistically. A mentor will also prepare you for future roles, not just in achieving immediate goals.

COACHING

Coaching is slightly different from mentorship and the relationship between the person being coached and the coach is inorganic and short-lived. It is mainly transactional and this makes it mechanical. A coach is someone who has experience and expertise in a particular field that you would like to gain knowledge in. Think of it as the relationship between you and your teacher. A coach offers advice only, unlike a mentor who may offer more value through their experiences. So, what are some of the defining characteristics of coaching?

The relationship is formal: The relationship between the person being coached and the coach is bound by social norms and rules of engagement. For example, while you can have an evening drink with your mentor to discuss arising issues in your life or career, this would be considered inappropriate when the person is a coach. You will often have to make an appointment to meet a coach at specific times and in specific areas; usually in their offices.

Coaching is based on particular issues of development: While mentorship may focus on many aspects of your life from career to finances, coaching is specific and focuses on a narrow area. Think of it as having swimming lessons, where your coach strictly focuses on your swimming skills and nothing else.

The relationship is short-lived: In the same line, coaching lasts for a short period of time that is very specific, after which the relationship is terminated. During the life of this relationship, you will also pay for the services of the coach. The relationship has a clear focus on helping you grow in certain areas and both you and the coach have to put in a lot of work. Moreover, the relationship is aimed at helping you achieve the set goals within a short time.

Coaching is structured and rigid: There are clear goals to be achieved and this means that the relationship is structured in such a way that there is a clear progress towards achieving the goals. There are clear lessons to be learned and there are clear expectations, which are to be met. Even the time when the coaching takes place is structured and does not change easily. The focus is on clear development agendas that are to be achieved at every defined point.

BOTTOM LINE;

Coaching and mentorship are two different aspects of career growth. While mentorship involves some kind of hand-holding, coaching involves an active process of imparting specific skills in you to help you achieve particular goals.

It is important to establish what exactly you want in a relationship as this will help you define whether it is mentorship or coaching.

The elusive peace in South Sudan

The handshake that never held! 

When hundreds of political prisoners have remained caged, and rebel leader, Dr, Riek Machar insists on not arriving in #Juba at this particular time, even on official invitation of President Salva Kiir; And another rebel leader, Gen. Thomas Cirillo, insisting not to be part of the peace process; it leaves us all with more questions than answers.

QUESTIONS LINGER;

Already, many common people are creating scary rumours, about the war situation in the newest state in the world, South Sudan. For the umpteenth time, we read stories of accusations and counter-accusations; that some political actors in Juba are conspiring to make sure peace in South Sudan does not happen. People are asking some important questions of the two key actors; President Salva Kiir and Dr. Riek Marcha. That, why can’t they (#Kiir & #Machar) be true to their own words, and end the suffering of people in their country? That when will the armed conflict there end?

They see it has already led to serious human rights violations. Where there were mass atrocities against civilians and killings along ethnic lines. Abductions, rape, and sexual violence were rampant. Villages were destroyed. That is why people are right to demand that the key players show some honesty this time round in order to get peace.

MY TAKE:

If genuine peace should return to baby SS, all stakeholders involved ought to bring humility to the discussion table. Here, truth and accountability are high among the missing pieces of the puzzle in efforts to stop the five-year brutality that has no doubt, left an ineradicable mark.

It is commendable that the recent progress in peace process has brought Nairobi, Entebbe, Khartoum and Addis Ababa on board.

To join hands and try to make the government and the rebels of South Sudan and all others grow up and ink a permanent cease fire and power-sharing deal. The efforts are paying off because we see that President Kiir has already offered amnesty to all those who pointed a rocket launcher or a machine gun towards his direction.

United National Security Council (UNSC) intervened, threatening violators of the peace process with sanctions. Travel bans and asset freezes on individuals were also mooted. Even with these measures, there were still violations here and there, and there have been occasional setbacks in the peace process.

After Dr. Machar fled South Sudan in 2016, President Kiir always maintained a stance of unwillingness to talk peace. And the various peace initiatives that were proposed fell short of achievement. Against this non-commitment to peace as seen from the past, clearly, we know too well that signing agreements on paper is no big deal these days.

The big deal is to follow through with the implementation of the terms of the signed agreements.

Looking from the side-lines, the international community has been itching to weigh in, promising sanctions if Kiir and Machar do not comply. Mr. President accepted talks with his foe. And in September, an agreement was reached between Kiir’s group and Machar’s.

Now Machar becomes the first vice president of the south. And all the other loose ends of the agreement should seamlessly fall in place. Officials in Juba must now pull their weights in the same direction in order for peace to happen.

Otherwise, a regional force should be on hand to swing into action, to keep the peace process on track, so that the promises are not breached. The expectation is that the ugly days of the past are firmly behind to pave way for peace to prevail. But it will take honesty by all parties.

HONESTY OF PURPOSE;

We need president Kiir to be genuinely honest about the decision to call Machar to the high table and also free all the political captives from prison.

Likewise, we expect Machar to be humble enough to allow peace to happen in South Sudan. To avoid setting tough conditions that ensures all parties go divergent ways again.

Let us pray and hope for sustained peace to happen in South Sudan this time.

Being idle could be good

Tweeting on the ferry, blogging on the bus, chatting on the sidewalk, skyping on the zebra crossing, emailing at work. We are even raising our kids using gadgets!!
We communicate, constantly, everywhere. Every day I see people in Nairobi messaging while walking, crossing the street, up and down the stairs, on the elevator, in the bathroom and even while driving (yikes!).
The social urge of communication has grown exponentially in the past decade and is now filling every idle moment of our lives.
Some may argue that this continuous communication is annoying and mostly useless, it makes people unfocused and distracted.
Some may say that it is a way of relaxing, of feeling always in contact with somebody. The obvious fact is that these compulsive activities are occupying some specific spaces in our day, spaces that otherwise would be, or would seem to be, empty.
 In the visual arts, the urge by the artist of filling every empty space with details is called horror vacui, the fear of emptiness. The resulting style is frequently overcrowded and suffocating, and not surprisingly, it is originally the artistic style of mentally ill people.

Perhaps some spaces are meant to be left empty, to give harmony and breath to the whole picture of our day.
While endeavoring to use every single moment of “blank” time to indulge in addictive and distractive habits, indeed something does get lost.
As an audit consultant, my work requires intense focus on problems for long periods of time. The more I grow older and (hopefully) wiser, the more I appreciate the few pauses and moments of idleness in my day and protect them from any other casual distraction.

When riding the matatu home, for instance, I make it a point to do nothing else, not to force upon myself any phone calls, e-mails, video games or activities other than being aware of my surroundings.
It takes a good self-awareness to understand the importance of doing nothing.

Just sit there and enjoy the scenery. You will probably learn something that you'd have otherwise missed if you had your focus on you smart gadget!

80% women are prostitutes

Question: Who is a prostitute?
Answer: 80% of the women populations are prostitutes!

Now, dear ladies and women alike, before you start throwing your tampons and pads at me, you may have to sit back and let me defend my research! You see, in my theory, there are 2 kinds of prostitutes: the WILD and DOMESTIC prostitutes!

The wild ones are the ones that stands in the hotels, bars, lodges and back-streets for
commercial sex trade while the domestic ones are the so-called girlfriends we keep at home with the false impression that we have a decent clean babe all to ourselves, but unfortunately when we are away they sneak out to have sex with other guys and sugar daddies, now tell me how are they different from the roadside prostitute?

My Brothers, I see, it is the same thing. So whether you admit it or not if your wife sleeps around with your milkman when you are not in town, then you have a domestic prostitute in your house. So don’t judge other men who sleep with the wild prostitutes in hotels because you are in their shoes too.
Having said that, let the men speak based on the below observations:

1. Believe it or not, prostitutes are more disease free than the so-called clean babes. This is coz every man thinks her job is risky so there is need to protect himself with a condom and at the end 100 men may sleep with her but with a condom but with the so-called decent clean and homely babes, the man-friend thinks she is decent so he doesn't need a condom, tomorrow another man will think the same and do it with her again without using a condom and the cycle continues. At the end she has 100 men who have slept with her without condom yet she still parades herself as the homely, decent, clean, mummy’s pet babe, and the cycle begins again. What a shame!

2. A prostitute does not expect you to remember her birthday, not to talk of buying her gifts. You don’t also have to take care of her responsibilities like buying her body cream, paying for her hair do, etc. Yet you still enjoy maximum sex for a little fee which cannot be compared to the expenses we spend on our so-called clean babes. 

A friend of mine said his girlfriend won’t let him touch her or even talk to her because he didn’t give her a particular amount of money she requested. If this young man must give her that money before he would touch her then what is the difference between her and the prostitute out there?

3. You don’t need to remember the safe period of prostitutes because none of them would come back telling you they are pregnant.

4. Prostitutes won’t compel you to get married to them as the last thing on their mind is marriage.

5. A prostitute does not expect you to satisfy them, they would do anything to satisfy you and make you come for them again unlike the clean homely babes who expect you to take them to
cloud nine while they only lie on their backs and spread their legs like frozen chicken.

Now, with the aforementioned reason, why won’t MEN go for Prostitutes, tell me? And why are we still seeing the same old WILD prostitutes in the bar corridors while decent babes die of HIV out there?

Africa is taking over the Tech world

Africa’s embrace of technology turns two common assumptions inside out – that tech breakthroughs happen in rich countries, and that Africa needs basic services before it can use high-tech solutions. What Africa’s start-ups are doing is using technology to build those basic services – and a whole lot more.

In fact it’s in Africa where some of the world’s cutting-edge innovation is happening right now.

Technology is improving people’s lives – especially mobile services and applications. With minimal fixed line phone infrastructure, the continent has embraced the opportunity to leapfrog existing technologies, becoming a world leader in the delivery of such critical services through innovation.

Take JamboPay, for example.

JamboPay, which was founded in 2009, now has more than 5,000 institutional clients and processes more than $500 million in payments every year. The company has a presence in Kenya, Tanzania and Senegal and is expanding rapidly.

Jambopay has facilitated low-cost solutions to critical public problems and transformed the relationship between citizens and their governments. This is an African solution to a world problem.

In Sierra Leone, fishing communities have used a combination of mobile phones and GPS-enabled cameras to report on foreign fishing boats stealing from their waters.

Many of these systems struggle to bridge glaring gaps in existing services. African farmers, for example, need better access to data, which means establishing more and efficient weather stations. The agricultural information service, Esoko, can provide weather data to farmers in Ghana, for example, which suggests that meteorological agencies need to partner with the private sector.

One hurdle that technology innovation faces in Africa is the lack of power. About 620 million Africans live without access to electricity, but mobile phones need to be charged and transmitter towers need power. Access to energy is a constraint for social and economic progress all over the continent.

Africa is a continent of innovation and creativity, though – so technology itself is helping to break down the barriers to energy. Off-grid electricity is growing fast. Solar-powered phone chargers are becoming more common across the continent.

Technology could also help to bring down another barrier to progress in Africa. East Asian countries successfully converted their domestic savings into investment, facilitating their transformations to middle-income countries. But Africa has so far largely failed in this respect.

In most parts of the world, banks provide the major interface for savers. But Africa lacks bank branches, especially in rural areas, and the costs of banking are prohibitive for the overwhelming majority.

So how can Africa mobilize domestic savings? Technology can enable peer-to-peer lending – cutting out the middleman, removing the need for retail banks, and even leapfrogging existing business models.

Using mobile phones to make payments is another promising avenue. In Africa, just 23% of people have a bank account, but majority have access to a mobile phone.

Kenya’s mobile payment system, M-PESA, has shown the way. In just 10 years, M-PESA has enabled 25 million Kenyans to send and receive money electronically.

A promising offshoot is a micro-insurance health cover service that allows subscribers to contribute to health insurance via M-PESA. NHIF for example has adopted this concept while all banks have since integrated mobile transactions into their banking products and services.

Technology has been key to many of Africa’s most exciting developments in recent years. Watch out for new pan-African social media platforms emerging to challenge the global giants of Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn. WhatsApp will be relegated to the periphery as the world looks to Africa for tech solutions.

New technologies will rapidly transform societies in the future. The robot generation will start in Africa. The action is already happening in Nairobi. Africa is leading

Shylock business is a rip-off

Walking around Odeon Cinema in Nairobi, you can’t miss the signposts: Instant Loans on Items. Here, you submit an electrical appliance for a loan and then sign a contract. Breaching the contract means you lose the item and you cannot claim it once the repayment deadline has passed.

Shylocks, who are basically loan sharks, bank on the sanctity of a contract law that a borrower signs. These contracts are worded to act as a snare to the borrowers who usually misinterpret them. Most end up failing to meet the deadline and their items get auctioned.

The popularity of Shylock dens in Nairobi is usually fueled by lengthy and tiring procedures in obtaining loan from mainstream financial institutions.

From the horse’s mouth:

“I’ve been in Shylocking business for 5 years now and it’s thriving because people want instant cash and the prolonged bank processes make Kenyans avoid the financial institutions,” says Mr Makanyaga* who operates around Odeon Cinema in the capital Nairobi. “We give you cash against a product, preferably an electrical appliance. By looking at the item, I can tell the amount it will fetch in the market if one fails to comply with the contract.”

This acts as security, often for a shorter period typically seven days.

 “If you don’t repay the loan with the interest we can either negotiate you pay the interest first and I keep the item as you continue looking for money or I sell it,” adds Mr. Makanyaga*.

The risks:

Shylocking is not a bed of roses.

Sometimes the sharks have to deal with stolen items and this makes them prone to being sued in case they are caught. Besides, they may be given faulty or obsolete items and end up losing money since they cannot resell them.

While talking to Makanyaga*, a guy who looks drunk arrives and asks him for a Ksh500 loan. Taking his Samsung phone, Makanyaga* takes his contract note book and after scribbling something he counterchecks the phone and gives him the money. With a repayment period of seven days, the borrower is supposed to bring back Ksh650, a 30% interest. “That’s how we survive and we barely make losses,” he chuckles adding that he once gave someone Ksh50, 000 as a loan.

Eunny*, an accountant with a city-based company, is a frequent visitor to loan sharks’ dens. She says that when she has a pressing need, she turns to the Shylocks because they are the last option and getting money from them is easy. “Sometimes you find yourself in a fix; there is a pressing need and with a budgeted salary you have to turn to the Shylocks to meet this emergent need,” She volunteers to tell.

 “When you know there is a place you can get easy cash, you become addicted to it. Although the interest is high and the initiative makes people lazy, you are left with no choice.” Eunny*, like many urban dwellers, have resigned to this kind of rip-off.

Eunny was introduced to the Shylocking business in 2014 by her then workmate and she has created a rapport with the sharks since she is a regular borrower. “When you become a regular customer you create a mutual understanding with the lender and he may decide to scrap off some money when you don’t default; that way the loan burden becomes less.”

Because they are unregulated, Shylocks take advantage of gullible Kenyans and weave the contract in a way that sets the borrower to default so that they can sell the mortgaged item at a higher price than the loan. This is how they thrive.

Professional opinion;

The government should legalize shylocking in Kenya because the aim is to help a needy Kenyan at a fee. There is need to draft laws that can regulate the business so that they can start competing with the regulated financial institutions.

Only this way will there be sanity and benefit for the government. Otherwise, this is a rip-off to struggling entrepreneurs and businesses.

I can’t even talk about virtual money lenders like Tala, Branch, M-shwari and the like!

Making a case for youthful Agriculture

For a while now I’ve wondered about the future of agriculture in Kenya. It has been the Country’s predominant sector since the early days of independence, and even though a lot of activities are undertaken, the potential for growth still remains. Question is; are Kenyans willing to take up that charge? Or more specifically, are Kenya’s youth willing to do so?

One of the typical composition questions featured in English debates in primary schools when I was younger was: “The Farmer and the Doctor: Who Is More Important?” I always grappled with that question, but more often than not, it came down to the farmer. Why? Because basic human instinct seeks nourishment before other needs or wants. Maslow’s theory confirms this, and it’s also true in our everyday lives. 

Also, when you think about traditional African societies, medical practitioners (herbalists) relied on plants (grown by farmers) to treat their patients. So it would seem like the presence of the farmer with his food and plants for medicine gave birth to the doctor. In essence,

Either ways, I’m not here to argue about whether the doctor or the farmer is more important.

If my guess is right, thousands of school children are still contemplating that question in their essays. What I’d like to talk about though, is the youth’s perception of agriculture.

Thanks to globalization and western influence, many African youth look down upon careers in agriculture. Particularly with regards to farming and fishing! They think it’s beneath them. Let me correct myself. Since I’m also an African youth, we, as a collective, think it’s beneath us. This is really incredulous! How can an honorable trade such as farming, that essentially offers the opportunity of life and health, be a second-thought or second-class career option?

And it’s not just the youth who think this way. Adults do too. Many parents will say, “oh my daughter/son is going to grow up to be a medical doctor, lawyer, or teacher.” Very few say “my child will be a farmer or fisher when he/she grows.” Why is this the case? We seriously need to think about this. Especially since our main economic strengths lie in agriculture. If we ever want to advance into strong manufacturing and services sectors, we’re gonna need to fill up our breadbaskets to the brim and have extra in storage.

The agricultural sector needs us. Without the human resource base in that sector, we’re basically screwed. We’re letting our key strengths go to waste, and in addition to that, we’re paying a dear price for it by having to import food we can grow ourselves and dealing with food shortages and crises.

Food security is the essential ingredient to keeping humanity afloat. A hungry (wo)man is an angry (wo)man. And when Otieno, Kemboi, Wafula, Mumbua or Habib are angry, nobody else is happy. When you’re hungry, you’re not only irritable; you can’t concentrate until you get something in your system.

The great news is that in this era of technological advancement, there are many sexy agricultural jobs out there. Yep, you heard right. We need to change our idea about what agriculture entails because there are so many components to it. For instance, If you feel like you don’t have the muscles necessary to till the soil, you can concentrate on helping design and invent new technologies to make that process easier.

Not convinced yet? Okay. Let’s say you’re more interested in legal structures. You can do research and evaluate current labor laws governing the agricultural sector – both at the local and international levels (within the framework of the WTO for instance).

Figure yourself as more of a business person? No worries. You can help develop and implement marketing schemes to help farmers get as much profit as their hard work deserves.

Interested in climate change? You can help develop new, ‘green’ initiatives to keep the agricultural sector, well, green. And for those of us who think women are no good as farmers, think again. Women contribute the most to the subsistence agricultural sector in many African and developing nations.

At the end of the day, it all comes down to perception. If your window of perception about agriculture is limited to days under the sun toiling for hours on end, then you’ve got another thing coming to you.

We’re in a new era with new possibilities. And even if you do end up sweaty and panting under the tropical sun in a field of crop, is that so bad? You would be participating in one of the most honorable trades (in my opinion) out there, and you’d be contributing more than your quota to humanity. Think about it. It’s time to make agriculture sexy.

A country on its knees: A tale of Agriculture in Kenya

The Kenyan Government considers agriculture as the cornerstone for socio-economic prosperity. Agriculture is placed at the helm of all national development blue prints; vision 2030 and the Jubilee government manifesto among others. In fact a mega project like the Galana Kulalu irrigation project fortifies this!

With our state of economy, agriculture will for many years to come remain key to ensuring food and nutritional security for Kenyans, mostly small-scale farmers who draw a living from it. It is also a main propeller to our industrialization (as we await coal and oil exploration and exploitation in Lamu and Turkana) by virtue of being the principal wellspring of raw materials, thanks to the adoption of modern farming technologies. All these success stories about agriculture become more real only with favorable policy framework.

 Kenya, like many other countries, is faced with the challenge of increasing population and rising competition for agribusiness both in the regional and international arena. Meeting this would mean breeding a crop of young farmers who will in days to come fill the gaps left by ageing farmers considering that the average age of a Kenyan farmer is 65 years. Basically, agriculture is practiced by pensioners! A retrospective follow up of these “young farmers” depicts the policy injustice that the Government is doing to this golden sector.

 Related notification uncovers that the formal platforms, more so in the primary and secondary institutions, for the dissemination of farming techniques to the “hope of tomorrow” are either breaking down, inadequate or lacking trainers as a result of the emerging socio-economic challenges.

By nature, human beings will only pick what is perceived to be important. It may be a shock that agriculture education may no longer be a single entity subject in secondary schools, as it happened in primary school. This is imminent. There is a decline in the number of students taking agriculture in secondary schools, where it’s also an optional subject. Now is it really logical for a system to function without a spine?

 The negative discernment that agriculture does not compete equally in the job market could be one of the major reasons. The subject itself is downplayed by both parents and students, who by their gender and social upbringing opt for the ‘marketable subjects’. Agricultural programs in schools are stereotyped to be primarily for the males. How practical is it that a kid raised up in the city will pick up agriculture after school, which throughout their education has been an option? Their parents, who by default are the role models, do not practice agriculture.

 An ‘enterprising parent’ would rather use theirs plots available to establish a real estate rather than use it for agriculture. Those with interest lack the adequate exposure to the practical aspects of the subject, with teaching increasingly becoming superficial and exam oriented. Consequently, for a long time, there hasn’t been an effective way to integrate secondary agricultural education with most of the lucrative courses that are offered in the universities, which almost all the students are nowadays struggling to pursue.

As such, it would be more appropriate for guardians, educators, contrivers and policy makers to encourage agriculture education right from primary school.

 To develop self-dependence, problem-solving abilities and resourcefulness, learning agriculture will occupy students with activities that direct them to various agricultural ventures which may not exigently require high capital to head start, but significantly boost the economy. Agriculture can never flourish in isolation; increasing budgetary allocation for research may make it regain the lost glory.

I don’t think people in Europe got handouts in order for them to innovate and eliminate poverty. We would therefore greatly enhance this conversation by suggesting how we can create value in our people without paying them to be helped.

I have noted with gratitude that some of my readers make very constructive comments.  This form of crowd-sourced solution is what will lead to a sustainable solution, and I urge them to please let us continue thinking together.

Share this article to the corridors of power. All stakeholders and law-makers need to support agriculture - it is the only way out of poverty for the multitudes.